Stress Class

Discussion in 'Healthful Living / Natural Treatments' started by TerryJ2, May 28, 2009.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Hi all,
    I signed up for a 6-wk stress reduction class with-a life coach a few wks ago.
    It's mostly interesting and informative, although I can do with-o the motivational stuff. My husband suggested it, because he knows the coach, and he loves all that stuff--the garage and his ofc are filled with-motivational books and CDs.
    She uses things from 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, as well as other well-known authors and coaches. And she adds her own touch.
    One thing she does is go out for a glass of wine after ea class, and just chat. She keeps the group to under 10 people so we can get to know one another, and nothing personal leaves the group, and boy, do we get personal! She has a degree in industrial psychiatric and she loves psychology. It's evident by the way she gets people to open up quickly.

    There are two women there who remind me of myself 11 yrs ago. I call it The Yr From H*ll. We had just adopted difficult child, easy child was 5, we got our 4th dog who was very ill and it took wks to nurse her to health, and then she turned out to be a fear biter, I was the pres of Rotary Club, we hosted an exchange student from Brit Guyana, and I was trying to work at the same time.
    I rewarded myself with-Epstein Barr.

    I am much better now at saying "No." In fact, one of the moms, who is a volunteer mom at school, plus, owns her own pharmacy, had an interesting comment when I said, "I don't volunteer for anything."
    She said, "I know."

    She is one of the most stressed out people I know and it has affected her heart, so I personally think I'm doing the right thing. I helped her set up a cute cookie and lemonade snack station after one of the lower school plays a cpl wks ago and it turned out Soooo cute! But she was 40 min late, and didn't have everything because she had depended upon her husband to p/u some things and he had them in his car and was at work. They had never agreed upon a time. The two of them are a mess and while I hate watching it, it's good for me to see so I don't repeat the same mistakes.
    One thing is that she asks/tells him to do things to help her, and he screws up repeatedly, and she gets stressed out, and you'd think she'd just give up and ask another mom to do it. Nope, history repeats itself.
    He's very clingy, to the point of something pathological, and that adds to her stress, as well.
    She needs to leave her cell ph in the car when she goes to mtngs.
    That's one stress-reliever that I do. ;)

    Another big one is to clean up our personal space. Well, my bedroom is great. My office and studio are awful!
    Every day, I take one, small pile and sort through it. It's just too much to deal with otherwise.

    No one has a kid like mine, so the instructor of course tells me to detach and stay calm, like there's an invisible forcefield around me. Same thing my therapist told me. I'm getting better but it's SO hard, as you all know.

    There's a lot more. I'll update with-tips when I come up with-things pertinent to this group.
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Wow, that sounds so interesting and great. I like the way the group sounds also, keeping it small and personal that way.

    I hope you enjoy it, you deserve a break

  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    This is a BIG source of stress for me. And part of the problem is that it's a losing battle with 4 other people contributing to the chaos and a lack of support from a difficult child-husband in this area.

    So in some ways, I try to just let go and not worry about it. But I'm still trying to cull the clutter when I can and when I find the motivation.

    I figure some day I'll get back to homeostasis and all will be well in my world... but that's probably the day all the kids have moved out and husband is 6-feet under, so what good is that? :tongue:
  4. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    This is awesome!
    Did she recommend any books on organizing?
    Anyway, I sent you a pm....please look for it, okay? :D
    Be well!!!!!
  5. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    This sounds very interesting! I am looking forward to the tips you pass along. by the way, I too have gotten better at saying no, I never used to and with difficult child found I had to in order to keep my sanity.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Gcv, do you have your own office at home? You can put a lock on the door.
    I use a bedroom. It's got a walk-in closet that I use for taxes, gift wrapping, etc. Problem is, it keeps growing ... over the bookshelves, out the door ...

    Whenever we take things away from difficult child, they go in my ofc. THAT really adds to my stress because he's always after me for his stuff. Lately, husband has been hiding things in other areas of the house. Yaaay!

    Yes, I do say no. (Does saying yes to saying no cancel out the "no"?)

    I just said no to addressing and handing out 15 envelopes for cerebral palsy on our street. I felt so guilty! The guy on the phone says, "Only 15????? You can't do THAT???" Aaaaarrgggh!!!
    I hung up the phone and just exhaled.
    I hate guilt.

    But I hate being overwhelmed even more. ;)

    I go to class tonight. There was no class last wk because of Memorial Day.

    One of the members dropped out already. I talked to her today. She is getting a divorce and wants to go on a mission trip to S. America. The mtngs are on the same nights. Talk about stress!
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    No, my computer is in the diningroom (which is really large -- almost like a greatroom) so I can be on it and still keep an eye on the kids. Or if they're on it (it's the family computer) I can monitor them. Although I've had to lock down their internet access because the difficult child's went looking for trouble when they could go online (porn :wince: ).

    As for guilt from others for saying no, I just remind myself that those people have absolutely NO idea what my life is like, so they are unqualified to pass judgement. And even people who are close to me and IN my life (like husband) STILL have no idea what it's like to be ME. So I ignore any guilt coming from them, too. :D