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stressed out and feeling guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="greenrene" data-source="post: 602718" data-attributes="member: 9177"><p>I just wanted to chime in as another custodial stepmom - I don't have the same issues as you do with your difficult child, but our situation has also been very difficult in its own way. I think is IS much harder when you're not the "real" mom. I too don't have that "love you no matter what" bond with my difficult child, although for some crazy reason some people in my life expect me to. I was nowhere NEAR ready to become a mom when difficult child came into my life, and I honestly don't know what I'd have chosen if I knew then what I know now.</p><p></p><p>I agree about the quitting spanking - it just doesn't work. For a long time, I felt like it was my only resort - NOTHING else worked. But spanking didn't work, either, and it just made resentment build.</p><p></p><p>I also agree that you MUST protect the younger child - she is in a very dangerous situation from what you've described. I'd seriously rethink sending them both to grandma's if the supervision isn't there.</p><p></p><p>Glad you found this site - it's been a godsend of support in my life, even though I'm not a major poster. I read here every day and gain strength and encouragement from the other parents fighting the difficult child battle. Welcome!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="greenrene, post: 602718, member: 9177"] I just wanted to chime in as another custodial stepmom - I don't have the same issues as you do with your difficult child, but our situation has also been very difficult in its own way. I think is IS much harder when you're not the "real" mom. I too don't have that "love you no matter what" bond with my difficult child, although for some crazy reason some people in my life expect me to. I was nowhere NEAR ready to become a mom when difficult child came into my life, and I honestly don't know what I'd have chosen if I knew then what I know now. I agree about the quitting spanking - it just doesn't work. For a long time, I felt like it was my only resort - NOTHING else worked. But spanking didn't work, either, and it just made resentment build. I also agree that you MUST protect the younger child - she is in a very dangerous situation from what you've described. I'd seriously rethink sending them both to grandma's if the supervision isn't there. Glad you found this site - it's been a godsend of support in my life, even though I'm not a major poster. I read here every day and gain strength and encouragement from the other parents fighting the difficult child battle. Welcome! [/QUOTE]
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