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Stressed out and need advice
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<blockquote data-quote="Andy" data-source="post: 255307" data-attributes="member: 5096"><p>I hate anxiety. My difficult child is going through an episode currently. It is so hard for them to function when their anxiety is on the rise.</p><p> </p><p>My suggestion is since taking away privileges is not working, try the reverse. Rewards for making it through the day. When I had a reward chart for my difficult child, I would include timelines in increments that were the challenges. He earned points for doing well. I don't remember the break down but do remember something like, "15 points for getting ready for school without arguing" "20 points for going from 8:30 to 10:00 (break time) without a problem in school", ect. Whatever time of the day was the hardest for him got shorter time slots to hold it together. Then, he would get a reward for doing well instead of a discipline for not. You can work with the teacher who should be willing to acknowledge what he has earned when he has earned it. That way he is getting positive reinforcement from his teacher.</p><p> </p><p>Many difficult children do not respond well to the traditional disciplines. When they get a privilege taken away, it really hurts them. They do not see it as, "I better do better so it will not happen again." Many times, they see it as, "I just can not do any thing right, EVER." They need a creative positive way of reaching them to let them know we are just trying to teach them, that they are still special and we love them.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Andy, post: 255307, member: 5096"] I hate anxiety. My difficult child is going through an episode currently. It is so hard for them to function when their anxiety is on the rise. My suggestion is since taking away privileges is not working, try the reverse. Rewards for making it through the day. When I had a reward chart for my difficult child, I would include timelines in increments that were the challenges. He earned points for doing well. I don't remember the break down but do remember something like, "15 points for getting ready for school without arguing" "20 points for going from 8:30 to 10:00 (break time) without a problem in school", ect. Whatever time of the day was the hardest for him got shorter time slots to hold it together. Then, he would get a reward for doing well instead of a discipline for not. You can work with the teacher who should be willing to acknowledge what he has earned when he has earned it. That way he is getting positive reinforcement from his teacher. Many difficult children do not respond well to the traditional disciplines. When they get a privilege taken away, it really hurts them. They do not see it as, "I better do better so it will not happen again." Many times, they see it as, "I just can not do any thing right, EVER." They need a creative positive way of reaching them to let them know we are just trying to teach them, that they are still special and we love them. [/QUOTE]
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