Malika
Well-Known Member
(I see that thread by the angry lady has disappeared - that was very odd!)
J and I have been stressing tonight... he wanted to play with the children who are visiting the village and I agreed as they are leaving (for good) tomorrow. Reading between the lines, it looks like their mother has just left their father and they are all moving far away to a new house and new school (perhaps the husband is dangerous??) - I wish them well, they are sweet kids. Anyway, one of them had bought new roller skates so of course J wanted to get his skates and put them on, even though he doesn't know how yet. Then he wanted to skate in a flat part of the village and of course wouldn't take the things off so we all ended up walking there, holding on to him for dear life so that he would not fall (he did anyway) and me feeling very stressed and cross because I have so little control of my 4 year old that I cannot get him to take off roller skates to walk... makes me feel ridiculous, angry at myself... but you know how it is
We ended up being very late - routine all out of whack again - and when we got back in J was exhausted and tantrum-y, cried and yelled because he wanted to play inside the house even though it was so late. Refused to take his clothes off for the bath, I ended up pulling them off him (trying hard not to do it abusively all the same...) and dumping him in the bath, washing him quickly, him angry and protesting. Then he ate supper and calmed down when I said he didn't have to brush his teeth tonight when he was demanding that he not have to.... Then went to bed relatively calmly and I tried to talk to him about talking instead of having tantrums... I also explained to him that when he cries long and loudly like that it makes me feel "funny in my tummy" and angry... He seemed surprised by this.
I have realised what it is about J that is "different" in regard to other kids. He really doesn't care much what adults think or want - has not internalised this in the way other children do. So when we are alone together he will usually listen to what I say, more or less, but when other kids are there, he just wants to do what he wants or what they want...
Not such a good evening. But I do actually see how J has made a lot of progress since this time last year... I, on the other hand...
J and I have been stressing tonight... he wanted to play with the children who are visiting the village and I agreed as they are leaving (for good) tomorrow. Reading between the lines, it looks like their mother has just left their father and they are all moving far away to a new house and new school (perhaps the husband is dangerous??) - I wish them well, they are sweet kids. Anyway, one of them had bought new roller skates so of course J wanted to get his skates and put them on, even though he doesn't know how yet. Then he wanted to skate in a flat part of the village and of course wouldn't take the things off so we all ended up walking there, holding on to him for dear life so that he would not fall (he did anyway) and me feeling very stressed and cross because I have so little control of my 4 year old that I cannot get him to take off roller skates to walk... makes me feel ridiculous, angry at myself... but you know how it is
We ended up being very late - routine all out of whack again - and when we got back in J was exhausted and tantrum-y, cried and yelled because he wanted to play inside the house even though it was so late. Refused to take his clothes off for the bath, I ended up pulling them off him (trying hard not to do it abusively all the same...) and dumping him in the bath, washing him quickly, him angry and protesting. Then he ate supper and calmed down when I said he didn't have to brush his teeth tonight when he was demanding that he not have to.... Then went to bed relatively calmly and I tried to talk to him about talking instead of having tantrums... I also explained to him that when he cries long and loudly like that it makes me feel "funny in my tummy" and angry... He seemed surprised by this.I have realised what it is about J that is "different" in regard to other kids. He really doesn't care much what adults think or want - has not internalised this in the way other children do. So when we are alone together he will usually listen to what I say, more or less, but when other kids are there, he just wants to do what he wants or what they want...
Not such a good evening. But I do actually see how J has made a lot of progress since this time last year... I, on the other hand...
Last edited:
Just don't be cross with yourself, OK?
