Structure

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by crazymama30, Dec 2, 2008.

  1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    My difficult child, as many, thrives on structure. While this is easy during the school year, it is something I struggle with in summer and other school breaks. I have been thinking about writing out a schedule, sticking to it, and seeing if that helps at these odd times. I am just myself not too structured. I know what needs done and I do it, but I don't really do things at a certain time and that is what I see as being structure.

    What is your idea of structure and how do you maintain it?
     
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    That can be an issue with us during school breaks. Signing difficult child up for activities, such as through the YMCA, seems to help a lot.
     
  3. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    my kids attended a couple different summer camps which had structure. My difficult child loved going there. I'm also one that doesn't really have structure at home, funny cuz I used to before kids!!
     
  4. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    We did the summer camp thing last year for a couple weeks, but they are so expensive. Even tho we get a partial scholarship, it is still 100$ -200$ a week. I just cannot afford that. I was going to trial something over christmas break, and see how it goes. It may be hard as we cannot always do outside stuff as the weather can get nasty. I was going to make up a schedule like breakfast at 7am, reading or worksheet time at 9am, chores at 10am, computer time at 11am so on. Outside time would be factored in if possible.

    This summer we will do summer camps for at least 2 to 3 weeks, they really helped last year and I found one that is put on by a lady who at least understands ADHD kids, and seems to have a clue about mood disorders also. A little spendy, but worth it.
     
  5. compassion

    compassion Member

    That is why I do a schedule in writng qand have daughter and therapist and me sign it. I put priories on there. For her it is daily AA meetings,she is involved in voleybal so I put on meetings, practicers, open gyms,etc. She voluteers for Humane Society so I put that on there. She takes voice so that is on there. I try to get her input concerning movies, time with friends. Like this week on Sat., I alrady have a structured schedule: holiday shooping with dad, AA, moviewith borother, and a holiday event including horse drawn carriages with family and a good freind of hers.
    We homeschool so it is a lot more sttucted when we are doing academics. Compassion
     
  6. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    When my kids were home, I was a big advocate of structure. I was a full time stay at home mom - so I needed the structure as much as they did.

    I insisted that they get up at a certain time (yes, even when they were teenagers). In real life they can't sleep until noon and play video games until 5 am. I figured I was preparing them for real life. If they chose to play video games until 5 am - they were still going to get their tired butts out of bed by 7:30 anyway.

    Meals were at regular times. I personally hated having the kitchen 'open' all the time. I needed to have my kitchen cleaned up. You miss breakfast, well then, lunch is in 4 hours.

    They had regular chores. I didn't allow for fun stuff until chores, and homework were done.

    As they got older, I did allow them to provide their own structure. Summers usually meant jobs or volunteer work. But, every May we talked about what their plans were for the summer. "Nothing" was not an acceptable answer.

    If structured time is a problem - type out a daily agenda. Stick to it. Your kids will appreciate the predictability - even tho' they might grumble. :)
     
  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I think I will type something up. I work, but I can try to get husband on the ball. I can try to get husband on the ball too, but I am not sure how he will take it. May work, may not. For now, at least I pretty much only work 2-3 days a week. I know that I saw a huge difference in difficult child over the Thanksgiving break, and he did much better when school was in session. I think I will make it a "loose" structure, I am not sure how I am going to do with this. I know I need to do something, and know what I need to do but the hard part is doing it.:sick:

    I figure if I try something over Christmas break, then I have spring break to refine it and then we get to Summer break. I want us to have a better summer than we did last year.
     
  8. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    How old is/are your child/children crazymama30??
     
  9. compassion

    compassion Member

    For me, t is getting clear about the healthy enenergy I am trying to support/channel. So, I have in mind daily exercise, art,music, decent food, enough rest,etc. Then a balance of business type stuff like chores, errands, academics with fun time/social time. It really is a balance. Compassion
     
  10. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    GG, easy child is 12, and difficult child will be 11 next month. I really noticed a difference in his behavior over thanksgiving in comparison to when school is in session.
     
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi,

    I'm sorry wow i'm late to this. I wasn't on much today. So, I for a long time did that structured everything, even during breaks. My difficult child has never been to camp and can't handle a camp situation. So I take every summer off from work since she was 5 to be with her. I scurry away the money all year long to survive the summer's of non work. with that being said i'm recently being told by others as well as difficult child's therapist to switch up the structure so that she sees it' sok if things don't go the way their always supposed to or have.

    Just my ramblings for tonight. I"m tired but wanted to jump in and read thru some posts
     
  12. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am not going to do a set in stone type of schedule, but a loosely set kinda thing. I hope
     
  13. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Some kids just need structure, and as you stated, it does not have to be rigid. Loose is OK.

    I had Tink in summer school and day camp over the summer, otherwise I'd go nuts. In her case, if she is not structured she demands my undivided attention every waking moment of the day.

    I have crafts lined up for winter break. I know that even if I bought out the entire Hobby Lobby, I would not have enough to keep her busy, but it's a start.
     
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