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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655069" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>It's a good thing to expose all kids to all that you can.</p><p></p><p>You just need to have no specific expectations t hat are unrealistic of kids who have "iffy" pre-birth experiences. Just day-to-day is the best, I learned. You just don't know what the drugs have done to his development and potential. It is best to get all the interventions you can as early as possible (which was good on you) and watch carefully to see if he is going to be able to take care of himself as an adult and be sure to get supports in place if he won't. I've been pleasantly surprised at how LITTLE my son USES his supports, but he still lacks common sense and social skills in some areas and needs help.</p><p></p><p>Your son can get apply for disability if he needs it. Then they will test him to see if he qualified for adult services by sending him for a neuropsychologist evaluation and perhaps a job trial (my son worked for two weeks and they evaluated his ability). The drugs your son's birthmother fed your son could have impeded certain parts of the brain...often they are the part make decisions hard or good decisions impossible and can also affect impulsivity and even mood stabiility...and this is a new field, babies born drugfed who are now adults.They are unlikely, however, to come out of a birthmom's drug and alcohol use completely unscathed. But there IS help for adults who have developmental or cognitive issues...or mental illness. He would have to be tested by Disability. They would tell him who to see.</p><p></p><p>Even with Disabilities, however, rules apply, and they will be thrown out of housing and certain programs for using drugs. But...perhaps they will help him get off the substances...maybe they have good programs he hasn't tried yet.</p><p></p><p>He may resent you less if you don't expect him to be able to do what most people are capable of doing. Some people actually can not. If they are not in a wheelchair, we have the expectation that they CAN, even if they have brain damage. And, in that particular case, I don't think we should be abandoning our adult kids to fend for themselves without directing them to support places that can help them Now if they refuse the help, that is on them.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your aching mom heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655069, member: 1550"] It's a good thing to expose all kids to all that you can. You just need to have no specific expectations t hat are unrealistic of kids who have "iffy" pre-birth experiences. Just day-to-day is the best, I learned. You just don't know what the drugs have done to his development and potential. It is best to get all the interventions you can as early as possible (which was good on you) and watch carefully to see if he is going to be able to take care of himself as an adult and be sure to get supports in place if he won't. I've been pleasantly surprised at how LITTLE my son USES his supports, but he still lacks common sense and social skills in some areas and needs help. Your son can get apply for disability if he needs it. Then they will test him to see if he qualified for adult services by sending him for a neuropsychologist evaluation and perhaps a job trial (my son worked for two weeks and they evaluated his ability). The drugs your son's birthmother fed your son could have impeded certain parts of the brain...often they are the part make decisions hard or good decisions impossible and can also affect impulsivity and even mood stabiility...and this is a new field, babies born drugfed who are now adults.They are unlikely, however, to come out of a birthmom's drug and alcohol use completely unscathed. But there IS help for adults who have developmental or cognitive issues...or mental illness. He would have to be tested by Disability. They would tell him who to see. Even with Disabilities, however, rules apply, and they will be thrown out of housing and certain programs for using drugs. But...perhaps they will help him get off the substances...maybe they have good programs he hasn't tried yet. He may resent you less if you don't expect him to be able to do what most people are capable of doing. Some people actually can not. If they are not in a wheelchair, we have the expectation that they CAN, even if they have brain damage. And, in that particular case, I don't think we should be abandoning our adult kids to fend for themselves without directing them to support places that can help them Now if they refuse the help, that is on them. Hugs for your aching mom heart. [/QUOTE]
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