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Struggling with my attitude to difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Suz" data-source="post: 15046" data-attributes="member: 29"><p>There's that victim mentality again. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/Graemlins/1010hammer.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hammer:" title="hammer :hammer:" data-shortname=":hammer:" /> It seems that most of our difficult children have it and Moms are the the sounding boards/targets of the bellyaching.</p><p></p><p>As you know, so much of this is natural consequences of their actions and that's really the only way Rob learns. Do you think it might have made a difference if you'd had Oriel go down to move the car and face the neighbors' wrath? No reason why they should be mad at you and husband- you didn't do it. But it sounded like Oriel slept through the aftermath of his actions and you guys had took the flak instead.</p><p></p><p>It's too bad that Oriel doesn't have a girlfriend, Esther. That is probably what helped me the most. Now, I hear the bellyaching about the girlfriend but she has to listen to the whining about everything else. I think they outgrow *some* of it, depending upon how much is ingrained in the makeup of their personality and how much success they have in other areas so they can feel good about themselves.</p><p></p><p>I like Fran's approach of answering a whine with a question. There is a thread in the PE archives about how to respond to our kids. I don't recall if you were a contributor but having some of those phrases handy has helped me not get too sucked into the drama. </p><p></p><p>As I read this over I don't see that I've said anything helpful at all. I'm sorry. But I do sympathize.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Suz</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Suz, post: 15046, member: 29"] There's that victim mentality again. :hammer: It seems that most of our difficult children have it and Moms are the the sounding boards/targets of the bellyaching. As you know, so much of this is natural consequences of their actions and that's really the only way Rob learns. Do you think it might have made a difference if you'd had Oriel go down to move the car and face the neighbors' wrath? No reason why they should be mad at you and husband- you didn't do it. But it sounded like Oriel slept through the aftermath of his actions and you guys had took the flak instead. It's too bad that Oriel doesn't have a girlfriend, Esther. That is probably what helped me the most. Now, I hear the bellyaching about the girlfriend but she has to listen to the whining about everything else. I think they outgrow *some* of it, depending upon how much is ingrained in the makeup of their personality and how much success they have in other areas so they can feel good about themselves. I like Fran's approach of answering a whine with a question. There is a thread in the PE archives about how to respond to our kids. I don't recall if you were a contributor but having some of those phrases handy has helped me not get too sucked into the drama. As I read this over I don't see that I've said anything helpful at all. I'm sorry. But I do sympathize. Hugs, Suz [/QUOTE]
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Struggling with my attitude to difficult child
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