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Struggling with Priorities....
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 284585" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Altho I work for the Fed Govt in a job I just love, love, love, I've always known since I was 4 years old that I was supposed to be a historical novelist. I have a letter from one of the most prominent agents in New York stating that I have the 'makings of a major historical novelist'. Just before my first baby was born I had an editor interested in one of my books, but was too busy to follow through. </p><p> </p><p>Now I have the time, or could have the time, all my energy is sapped by difficult child and husband and the daily drama. To create you have to be in the zone, and you can't get in a zone, yoy can't get centered if you are stressed, alert, wary, devastated, anxious, with your attennas out toward difficult child, primed for disaster, your mind racing with lies and figuring out what's really going on, etc...</p><p> </p><p>You just can't. </p><p> </p><p>WHen difficult child was in the mental hospital, the day before he came home, I felt the bounce of creativity. </p><p> </p><p>I don't know what can be done except to just wait until they are gone. My husband's ex had 5 children and one was alcoholic, three were bonkers schizophrenic, and one was rather neurotic and strange but able to support himself. By the time they were in their early twenties, he divested himself of them all, learned detachment (not a cut off, but detachment), remarried and had 20 more years of very decent life, a step removed from the chronic crisis and drama of his kids. He was very happy.</p><p> </p><p>I figure that's how it's gotta be. You just accept that you have to wait for yourself, just as you did when they were newborns. Except for us, we have to wait 18 years instead of 6 or 7. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>What kind of painting do you enjoy?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 284585, member: 5169"] Altho I work for the Fed Govt in a job I just love, love, love, I've always known since I was 4 years old that I was supposed to be a historical novelist. I have a letter from one of the most prominent agents in New York stating that I have the 'makings of a major historical novelist'. Just before my first baby was born I had an editor interested in one of my books, but was too busy to follow through. Now I have the time, or could have the time, all my energy is sapped by difficult child and husband and the daily drama. To create you have to be in the zone, and you can't get in a zone, yoy can't get centered if you are stressed, alert, wary, devastated, anxious, with your attennas out toward difficult child, primed for disaster, your mind racing with lies and figuring out what's really going on, etc... You just can't. WHen difficult child was in the mental hospital, the day before he came home, I felt the bounce of creativity. I don't know what can be done except to just wait until they are gone. My husband's ex had 5 children and one was alcoholic, three were bonkers schizophrenic, and one was rather neurotic and strange but able to support himself. By the time they were in their early twenties, he divested himself of them all, learned detachment (not a cut off, but detachment), remarried and had 20 more years of very decent life, a step removed from the chronic crisis and drama of his kids. He was very happy. I figure that's how it's gotta be. You just accept that you have to wait for yourself, just as you did when they were newborns. Except for us, we have to wait 18 years instead of 6 or 7. :frowny: What kind of painting do you enjoy? [/QUOTE]
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