Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by iloveturtles, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    I feel completely stuck in a horrible job. Actually, I love the work that I do I just can't stand my boss, the owner.

    The ONLY reason I am there is I can bring my difficult child to work after school, and I don't have to deal with daycare.

    I have no idea what daycare I could put him in. A regular daycare doesn't work. They just don't get children that are like difficult child.

    I am not even sure where to begin looking. I don't even know if I could find one I can afford. :anxious:

    I really, really, really need to get out of the work environment that I am. When it comes time to go to work, I get sick to my stomach.:sick:
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Gosh, I'm sorry your job has you so down.

    Whenever things I can't change begin to get me down, I take inventory.

    I inventory why it can't change and often I begin to feel better.

    I think your inventory would include being able to take difficult child there, not having to pay for childcare, not having to deal with a daycare that does not understand the special needs of your son. There are some that would kill for that inventory.

    Having said that, the getting sick to your stomach does not sound good. Is there something going on at work that has you in such knots? I know you say you hate your boss, but what is going on daily that has you so upset? Is your boss crossing a line? Are other's making having difficult child there difficult for you?

    I just ask that because not liking your boss is not unusual, but physically experiencing symptoms when thinking about going to work is not usual. It usually is a sign that something is not right and you are experiencing some real anxiety.

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I agree with Sharon. I hate when H does it, but whenever I begin complaining about a situation that is not easily remedied, he reminds me of why I should be thankful (I just want to punch him when he does this...). But he's right. I love Sharon's idea of taking inventory. Make your list of pros and then figure out what you can change to lessen the physical part of hating your job/boss, if any at all.

    I don't have to worry about child care anymore, but way back, I was lucky enough to be able to bring my difficult child to work with me as well. Eventually, I was able to work at the office 6 hours a day and then from home for the remaining 2 hours, after difficult child got off the bus. My company allowed me to take work I could do at home with me and still pay me for full time, which technically I was. I only had to do that for about 3 years and then my girls were old enough to be home after school for the 2 hours till I got home.

    Any chance you could work something out like that with your company? I know it sounds like a stretch and before I asked I thought for certain my company would decline - I was ready to be fired honestly because I was such a basket case - but they surprised me and we were able to work things out. And like I said, it was only a 3 year thing and then things went back to normal. Sometimes it's surprising how companies/bosses are willing to work with you. If your work/position is valued on any level...

    Hugs, I know it isn't easy. I'm sorry that your situation is making you physically ill.
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I only have this to offer......pretty much throws in everything I try to convey in my posts, advice, humor, encouragement, guidance.

    [ame=""]YouTube- CAREER BUILDER SUPER BOWL AD 2009 (HQ) "IF YOU HATE YOUR JOB"[/ame]

    Get that resume brushed up this weekend....:tongue:
  5. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    I saw that commercial last night. I would rather be in those situations at this point in time.

    How do I explain my issues with my boss? Hmmm.

    Things like he doesn't pay the health insurance, and I find out when I get to the doctor.

    Things like I am to blame for everything wrong about the business, and he is not here much.

    My biggest mistake was dating him, but you would think that would be fine now that he got married. He is still way inappropriate with me.

    Paychecks bouncing. On payday hearing "How much do you need to make it through the weekend?"

    When things don't go his way he yells, curses, screams and bangs around which is a trigger for both difficult child and I.

    He undermines me with difficult child.

    I don't make a living wage.

    But I do get to take difficult child to work after school.

    Thank you for listening.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 4, 2010
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Um........not sure but I think it's now illegal not to offer health insurance.

    As far as having a man YELL anywhere near my child? That's abuse. Period. If he wants to yell around you? You're an adult. Around your son? Abuse.

    Not paying you and "offering to help you through the weekend?" Wow what a gracious Bas#()$). Once...fine. Everyone has a tight spot, but more than once? No maa'm. You WORKED for your check. If he's that close to loosing financial stability - it's HIM that shouldn't be paid NOT the single Mother of a young child with bills.

    As far as day care? Check into ABC vouchers....they will PAY for your day care OR you can get an Earned Income Credit NOW on your check each week to subsidize that expense.

    I worked for Mr. type A - 7 years. So I know EXACTLY how it is. I felt I had to stay. EVERYTHING was my fault. Oh and I could bring Dude with me to work too on occasion. I had some "freedoms" that I felt I wouldn't have at other jobs. One day he gritted his teeth at me and swore using the f'ing verb. As In I had better f'ing this and that. When I left the office? I slammed that door so hard I almost broke the glass in our office and the offices on either side shook so hard both people came out to see what happened. They thought a car hit our office. Nope, just me. I'm a door slammer. I didn't come back for a week. Things fell apart, his family was in crisis over him being in crisis. I got a written apology, a raise, a helper - she got a raise..and he never cursed again. He was still a jerk, but never to me. I would have cleaned his clock.

    The business closed, I helped him close it....I found another job - and life was a lot better. I wished then - going from Sr. Level Administrative Executive Assistant to fmr. House of Representatives with 5 degrees to the only woman on an all man construction crew - that I had quit YEARS ago. I took a pay cut of about 1/2....and threw away all but one pair of panty hose and 3 dresses. I cut my nails....gave away all my nice clothes....and I'm a lot happier.

    I will never ever again stay in a job where I waste years of MY LIFE being miserable like that for the sake of WHAT? Again.

    I can be miserably poor and come home laughing every night....much better deal.
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Just to clear up the health care question. At this point, a small business (less than 50 employees) is not mandated to offer health insurance. However, under the propossed health care legislation, there is an employer mandate provision. Many small businesses are already talking about dropping or not offering healthcare if this legislation passes, and just pay the federal penalty (the penalty will be less than the cost of insurance). As a small business owner, I can tell you that health care insurance costs are a HUGE percentage of our monthly expenses.

    If your employer is offering insurance and then does not pay the premium, you should be getting a certified letter (from your carrier) stating that your insurance benefits have been revoked for nonpayment of premiums by your employer.

  8. iloveturtles

    iloveturtles Guest

    I know it isn't illegal to not have the health insurance it is just unethical the way it was handled.

    By him failing to pay the insurance and losing it that, and then add on top of it what I will now need to pay for health insurance, I am taking a $500+ a month pay cut.

    Star* good point.

    I am starting to look into options for difficult child's care.

    Thank you for listening.