Substance abuse advice please...

[VoixDeVille]

Hi,

I am writing this message to ask advice about a member of my family.

He is 31 years old and has some severe issues. He smokes a great deal of marajuana and also has in the past had problems with dependence to alcohol (he may still have these problems).

I am very concerned that he maybe taking harder drugs. He is extremely moody and unreasonable (almost to the extent that he appears to have mental health issues).

He also has other symptoms. Frequently he will be up all night with excessive vomiting and wretching - which seems to happen for no reason.

The only thing that seems to ease his symptoms is prolonged visits to the shower (sometimes for hours at a time). He has also previously burnt himself in the shower ( on the chest and other areas) from having the water too hot, and also with a hot water bottle. at the time he doesn't seem to notice that the items are so hot.

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

 

[Kathy813]

Hello and welcome to the SA forum. I'm sorry to hear about your family member. He does sound like an addict to me. The vomiting sends up a red flag for me because my daughter was addicted to opiates (even used heroin) and vomited often. The interventionist that we used told us that vomiting was a sign of opiate abuse.

Of course, alcohol can cause vomiting, too. How does your family member pay the bills? Does he live on his own? Please tell us more about the situation so we can offer advice and support.

~Kathy

 

[VoixDeVille]

Hi, it is actually my cousin and he still lives with his parents. He has a job (as far as I am aware - or tells everyone that he has). His parents keep him, but they are virtually on the edge of despair. They have tried throwing him out, but he won't leave. They have told me that the only way of getting him out is to call the police - but they don't really want to do that. He is frequent occasions quite abusive to them. I am based in the UK by the way. Thanks

 

[Nancy]

I am sorry that your family is dealing with this. He certainly sounds like he is addicted to something that is dulling his senses among many other things. I'm sorry I have no experience with these symptoms to even guess what he is using but it is apparent he needs help. Your aunt and uncle will have to make some difficult choices and it may be that they have to draw the line in the sand telling him he either goes into treatment or finds other living arrangements. It is an awful position for parents to have to be in and several of us have been there.

I don't know what the resources in the UK are but here I would call treatment centers and ask there advice on the symptoms you have observed.

 

[DDD]

I sure wish I could provide an easy answer for your family. Sadly, there really is no easy answer in my humble opinion. It is not going to get better with-o them detaching from his choices and, very importantly, convincing themselves that they deserve a better life and future. The decades fly by in adulthood just like they do in childhood. One week your two year old begins to turn into a boy instead of a baby. Ten years later he is looking at girls. Ten years later he usually is in college or working steadily. Nothing is going to change from 31 to 41 except the passage of time unless they are able to realize that he must face life on his own...the good and the bad.

I have never had to evict one of the kids but there is a procedure for doing so almost everywhere in the world. Often a document is drawn giving a 30 day notice. "Sometimes" seeing the document is a reality moment for the young adult. They don't want to be embarrassed. For the sake of their future I hope they can take action. It is great that they have your support as it may make it possible for them to move on. I'll say a prayer that this gets resolved. On the PE Board you will read how some have coped with this same problem. Hugs DDD