Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Such a Newbie... in so many ways...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 442209" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Hey there!</p><p></p><p>I'm a stepmom, too. Jett lives with us... Onyxx did till almost 4 weeks ago, at which point the behavior became too much. We have a similar situation in which BM parks Jett in front of the TV/video game console almost every visit. At least this is what he tells us.</p><p></p><p>I can say - I try very hard not to judge BM, but I have seen so much, and been the direct and indirect recipient of so much... That it is insane. I have no doubt she loves Onyxx and Jett... But on her terms. She made <em>no effort whatsoever </em>to contact Onyxx for two years... Onyxx initiated it... To be rebuffed several times and then, when Onyxx got upset with husband, suddenly BM will listen. It's not hard to connect the dots.</p><p></p><p>Honestly... This is going to hurt... But. In your home, you have the right to be respected, and to be considered. If husband wants you to be hands-on, he needs to work it out with the ex. Until he does - you may only do a limited amount of discipline. I've always been hands-on with my two - with the caveat, and they KNOW it, that I am Step and BM is BM, and if she has a problem with something that I do, she needs to discuss it with husband via the court-ordered website. (So far I have supposedly tried to run her off the road, flipped her off -from a room where she would need to see through 3 walls and heavy drapery to even know if I did- in front of her stepdaughter, and been nasty to her on the phone - I texted and asked her not to call me again if it was not an emergency.) I liken what I did, before husband and I married, as a "babysitter" - but I was shoved into actual parenting by circumstances. I never want to replace BM. For many reasons. The kids need to have a healthy relationship with their mother. I emphasize <strong>healthy</strong>.</p><p></p><p>As for counseling; you are, whether mom likes it or not, part of the family now. ANYONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR HOME should be in counseling with SDS. Perhaps not all together. But - mom needs to understand - you are a part of SDS's life, and have influence. husband needs to do the counseling as well. Just because it doesn't "seem" to work doesn't mean it isn't having an effect on SDS. Right now, the effect is confusion. If everyone participates (the "village" thing), he'll see that it makes a lot more sense to him.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> step-parent-hood ain't easy, trust me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 442209, member: 6705"] Hey there! I'm a stepmom, too. Jett lives with us... Onyxx did till almost 4 weeks ago, at which point the behavior became too much. We have a similar situation in which BM parks Jett in front of the TV/video game console almost every visit. At least this is what he tells us. I can say - I try very hard not to judge BM, but I have seen so much, and been the direct and indirect recipient of so much... That it is insane. I have no doubt she loves Onyxx and Jett... But on her terms. She made [I]no effort whatsoever [/I]to contact Onyxx for two years... Onyxx initiated it... To be rebuffed several times and then, when Onyxx got upset with husband, suddenly BM will listen. It's not hard to connect the dots. Honestly... This is going to hurt... But. In your home, you have the right to be respected, and to be considered. If husband wants you to be hands-on, he needs to work it out with the ex. Until he does - you may only do a limited amount of discipline. I've always been hands-on with my two - with the caveat, and they KNOW it, that I am Step and BM is BM, and if she has a problem with something that I do, she needs to discuss it with husband via the court-ordered website. (So far I have supposedly tried to run her off the road, flipped her off -from a room where she would need to see through 3 walls and heavy drapery to even know if I did- in front of her stepdaughter, and been nasty to her on the phone - I texted and asked her not to call me again if it was not an emergency.) I liken what I did, before husband and I married, as a "babysitter" - but I was shoved into actual parenting by circumstances. I never want to replace BM. For many reasons. The kids need to have a healthy relationship with their mother. I emphasize [B]healthy[/B]. As for counseling; you are, whether mom likes it or not, part of the family now. ANYONE WHO LIVES IN YOUR HOME should be in counseling with SDS. Perhaps not all together. But - mom needs to understand - you are a part of SDS's life, and have influence. husband needs to do the counseling as well. Just because it doesn't "seem" to work doesn't mean it isn't having an effect on SDS. Right now, the effect is confusion. If everyone participates (the "village" thing), he'll see that it makes a lot more sense to him. :hugs: step-parent-hood ain't easy, trust me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Such a Newbie... in so many ways...
Top