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Parent Emeritus
Suffering at the hands of an adult daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 664703" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Terrell, welcome to the PE forum. You sound like you really have a good head on your shoulders and have taken a stand regarding your daughter's addiction. </p><p></p><p>And you are paying the consequences for that. </p><p></p><p>Drug addicts are expert at manipulating all those around them. It is only when somebody breaks away from the "enabling" pack that there starts a domino effect that may end in the person's decision to change. Nobody stops enabling, there is no chance to change. </p><p></p><p>So you are the Lone Ranger. That is a tough place to be. With my son, I stopped the enabling before his dad did, and I had to stand and watch his dad enable and be the bad guy too.</p><p></p><p>But once we know better, we can't go back to the same behaviors---enabling---which is a crippling love, not a healthy, supportive love, I believe.</p><p></p><p>We are giving them and us a true gift when we learn this new way of thinking and behaving. </p><p></p><p>I know it is very hard to maintain and there is a lot of loss and sadness. </p><p></p><p>The fact that your daughter has been to rehab is a great sign, even if she does not get clean the first or second or third time she goes. </p><p></p><p>I believe the new and good information she heard there cannot help but make some kind of positive impact over time.</p><p></p><p>How do you spend your time? I hope you are being very kind to yourself and surrounding yourself with people who understand. </p><p></p><p>We are glad you are here. We get it. We understand. Welcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 664703, member: 17542"] Terrell, welcome to the PE forum. You sound like you really have a good head on your shoulders and have taken a stand regarding your daughter's addiction. And you are paying the consequences for that. Drug addicts are expert at manipulating all those around them. It is only when somebody breaks away from the "enabling" pack that there starts a domino effect that may end in the person's decision to change. Nobody stops enabling, there is no chance to change. So you are the Lone Ranger. That is a tough place to be. With my son, I stopped the enabling before his dad did, and I had to stand and watch his dad enable and be the bad guy too. But once we know better, we can't go back to the same behaviors---enabling---which is a crippling love, not a healthy, supportive love, I believe. We are giving them and us a true gift when we learn this new way of thinking and behaving. I know it is very hard to maintain and there is a lot of loss and sadness. The fact that your daughter has been to rehab is a great sign, even if she does not get clean the first or second or third time she goes. I believe the new and good information she heard there cannot help but make some kind of positive impact over time. How do you spend your time? I hope you are being very kind to yourself and surrounding yourself with people who understand. We are glad you are here. We get it. We understand. Welcome. [/QUOTE]
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Suffering at the hands of an adult daughter
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