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Suggestion on Homework and Cleaning up... please
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 549282" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>As for homework, unless she comes to you, stay out of it. For some kids a set homework time helps, but it sure doesn't seem to with many. Let school deal with her lack of writing, unfinished work, etc... If school gives an assignment requiring parental involvement, contact the teacher if you do not feel working wth difficult child would benefit anyone or jut cause a lot of stress. </p><p></p><p>As for cleaning? I wish you luck. I am a procrastinating slob and it is hard to get the house clean the first time, much less after the kdis have had a chance to 'look' for something!</p><p></p><p>A family cleaning hour one day a week (or 30 min or 15 min, whatever) can be a great way to get her istarted. Bribes, oops <em>rewards </em>can also be helpful. Saddly the bribee soon wants more and bigger for the same things. You can also get rid of things if he won't clean.</p><p></p><p>One problem that our kids end up with is simply having way too much stuff. When your room is packed with toys, etc... already, putting a new toy away can seem overwhelming. It would be a good idea to keep possessions to a minimum so that everything has a home that readily accessible. You can go through her clothes wehn you do laundry. Pitch anything she cannot wear and if needed play dumb. You could keep favorite shirts to make a quilt of, and it could lesson anxiety from losing these possessions.</p><p></p><p>You can go through her other stuff with or without her, There are pros and cons to each one and every person and situation is unique.</p><p></p><p>You can make a play mat that she could just fold/roll up and her stuff would be in about the same position. They work well for puzzles and cards, and might for other things. This is a felt mat that you can roll up an tie, not something super difficult. Here is a kink to the amazon page with these on it: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=puzzle+mat&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Apuzzle+mat" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias=aps&field-keywords=puzzle+mat&rh=i:aps,k:puzzle+mat</a> They range in size from TDC Games 36" X36", yo Ravensburger's 46" X26" to White Mtn's 36" X 48". They have different materials, but it is easy to make and use one out of felt. Just buy however much felt you want (sold on bolts at fabric stores, NOT the precut squares!) for the size you want to make, make the edges straight, sew on elastic loops at one end of the fabric (use 2-4, whatever you want),, and if decoration s desired, then decorate. </p><p></p><p>I made one in about an hour, including buying the fabric. I used a hardback book to get the corners to be 90degrees, a yardstick and a sharpie to mark the edges, and pinking shears on three edges. The elastic was sewn onto one pinked edge directly across from the straight edge. The straight edge is where you start to roll the mat up tightly when you are done for the time being. This edge is left straight because if it were pinked the little edges would end up all curled up. This is made for puzzles but can be used for other toys including those obnoxious little shoes/purses/whatevers from Barbies. (been there done that iwth a friend's kid).</p><p></p><p>Having a list of everything that is part of cleaning her room, play area, whatever can also be a huge help. then you can give her a few min and have her race to beat the clock. Break each chore down to small steps on the list also. For example the list could say "change the lightbulb". Seems simple, but is it really? Here are the steps to changing the bulb if detailed:</p><p></p><p>Look at the burned out bulb to see what size it is.</p><p>Find replacement bulb.</p><p>Make sure it is the right # watts.</p><p>Make sure it will fit in the fixture.</p><p>Make sure light is turned off.</p><p>Unplug light if that is possible.</p><p>Hold hand NEAR bulb to see if it is hot.</p><p>If old bulb is hot, get an oven mitt to remove it or wait until it has cooled down.</p><p>Gently unscrew bulb from fixture. </p><p>Put bulb into trash can.</p><p>Get new bulb out of package.</p><p>Gently install bulb.</p><p>Plug in light. Turn light on to verify that the bulb works.</p><p>Put bulbs away where they belong.</p><p>Throw away old bulb in safe container.</p><p>Throw away any other trash. </p><p></p><p>ALL of that is what we do in the minute or so it takes us to change a lightbulb. So if a task that fast is that complex, imagine how hard it would be to 'clean your room'??? </p><p></p><p>The list can help with that, and you could even break it into several cleaning sessions. </p><p></p><p>One thing my mom used to do was to take a book or hand sewing into my room and sit in there while I cleaned. She did NO cleaning unless something was too heavy, and she kept me moving. Otherwise before long I was curled up in a book. She would direct me to the next step as needed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 549282, member: 1233"] As for homework, unless she comes to you, stay out of it. For some kids a set homework time helps, but it sure doesn't seem to with many. Let school deal with her lack of writing, unfinished work, etc... If school gives an assignment requiring parental involvement, contact the teacher if you do not feel working wth difficult child would benefit anyone or jut cause a lot of stress. As for cleaning? I wish you luck. I am a procrastinating slob and it is hard to get the house clean the first time, much less after the kdis have had a chance to 'look' for something! A family cleaning hour one day a week (or 30 min or 15 min, whatever) can be a great way to get her istarted. Bribes, oops [I]rewards [/I]can also be helpful. Saddly the bribee soon wants more and bigger for the same things. You can also get rid of things if he won't clean. One problem that our kids end up with is simply having way too much stuff. When your room is packed with toys, etc... already, putting a new toy away can seem overwhelming. It would be a good idea to keep possessions to a minimum so that everything has a home that readily accessible. You can go through her clothes wehn you do laundry. Pitch anything she cannot wear and if needed play dumb. You could keep favorite shirts to make a quilt of, and it could lesson anxiety from losing these possessions. You can go through her other stuff with or without her, There are pros and cons to each one and every person and situation is unique. You can make a play mat that she could just fold/roll up and her stuff would be in about the same position. They work well for puzzles and cards, and might for other things. This is a felt mat that you can roll up an tie, not something super difficult. Here is a kink to the amazon page with these on it: [url]http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=puzzle+mat&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Apuzzle+mat[/url] They range in size from TDC Games 36" X36", yo Ravensburger's 46" X26" to White Mtn's 36" X 48". They have different materials, but it is easy to make and use one out of felt. Just buy however much felt you want (sold on bolts at fabric stores, NOT the precut squares!) for the size you want to make, make the edges straight, sew on elastic loops at one end of the fabric (use 2-4, whatever you want),, and if decoration s desired, then decorate. I made one in about an hour, including buying the fabric. I used a hardback book to get the corners to be 90degrees, a yardstick and a sharpie to mark the edges, and pinking shears on three edges. The elastic was sewn onto one pinked edge directly across from the straight edge. The straight edge is where you start to roll the mat up tightly when you are done for the time being. This edge is left straight because if it were pinked the little edges would end up all curled up. This is made for puzzles but can be used for other toys including those obnoxious little shoes/purses/whatevers from Barbies. (been there done that iwth a friend's kid). Having a list of everything that is part of cleaning her room, play area, whatever can also be a huge help. then you can give her a few min and have her race to beat the clock. Break each chore down to small steps on the list also. For example the list could say "change the lightbulb". Seems simple, but is it really? Here are the steps to changing the bulb if detailed: Look at the burned out bulb to see what size it is. Find replacement bulb. Make sure it is the right # watts. Make sure it will fit in the fixture. Make sure light is turned off. Unplug light if that is possible. Hold hand NEAR bulb to see if it is hot. If old bulb is hot, get an oven mitt to remove it or wait until it has cooled down. Gently unscrew bulb from fixture. Put bulb into trash can. Get new bulb out of package. Gently install bulb. Plug in light. Turn light on to verify that the bulb works. Put bulbs away where they belong. Throw away old bulb in safe container. Throw away any other trash. ALL of that is what we do in the minute or so it takes us to change a lightbulb. So if a task that fast is that complex, imagine how hard it would be to 'clean your room'??? The list can help with that, and you could even break it into several cleaning sessions. One thing my mom used to do was to take a book or hand sewing into my room and sit in there while I cleaned. She did NO cleaning unless something was too heavy, and she kept me moving. Otherwise before long I was curled up in a book. She would direct me to the next step as needed. [/QUOTE]
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