Suggestions for difficult child's stubborness reg summer math tutoring?

[TerryJ2]

difficult child agreed to do math tutoring this summer as part of his contract to return in the fall.
It took 2 wks of phone-tag to get up with-the teacher (a new one who sounds peppy and happy, at least over the phone!) and we finally chose 3 days to do the tutoring, (Tue, Wed, Thur) 1 hr per day, to make the expected 20-hrs we need.

I told difficult child tonight, and he threw a fit. I told him he had promised the teachers and signed the contract. He countered, "You bought a workbook and I only have to do 1 page per day!"

Hmm. I thought we could do both. But he hasn't touched the workbook.

Is the easiest solution just to return it? He is so set in his ways that that's the only way I can see this working.

 

[gcvmom]

Would it have gone easier if you'd just taken him to the tutoring session on the first day without any warning? Just wondering if NOT allowing him time to think about stuff in advance would head off his anxiety over it. But then, some kids would freak over the "surprise" situation.

What about tying some kind of reward for going to the 1 hour session and another reward for getting the workbook page completed? An hour of computer time for each?

If he needs the math reinforcement, I'd hate to drop it just because he's being difficult and trying to aviod it. Especially after all you went through to arrange it.

 

[tiredmommy]

Do to get. He wants something... he gets it after tutoring.

 

[KTMom91]

Can the tutor use the workbook as a supplement to the regular sessions?

 

[TerryJ2]

husband saved the day! More or less. He and I discussed -- loudly -- the fact that difficult child had signed a contract and agreed to apply himself in 7th gr. If he wasn't going to apply himself, after all we've done to keep him in private school, we would just forget it. So husband said he'd wait until difficult child cooled down, and then tell him his choice was simply tutoring, or go to public school.
By the time husband got to difficult child's room, he walked in and difficult child said, "It's okay Dad, I'll go."
Say what?
He must have heard us ...
I'll deal with-whether to return the workbook tomorrow ...

 

[gcvmom]

Maybe the two of you should join forces like that more often!

 

[Marguerite]

Something I find that works for difficult child 3 when he has to knuckle down and get some work done on non-school time, is I promise a small mini-chocolate bar if he puts in a solid half hour of honest concentration on a task.

Another one that works, is difficult child 3 LOVES to play computer games with someone. I'm available - but he has to earn game time. So for various accomplishments (at the moment, it's getting to bed on time) he earns 15 minutes of me playing a computer game with him.

Whatever carrot you use, use it and be consistent. Make it a short-term one - "YOu want to watch this new DVD? OK, we'll make a fun movie session out of it. I'll get started making popcorn and set it up, and when you've put in a solid half hour, we can watch this movie together while we snuggle on the couch and stuff ourselves with popcorn. But work first - I have some muffins to bake, you have some maths to do. SO let's work together, at the same time. Then we can finish together and both have fun."

Keep the goal short an the reward similarly small but prompt. Once he gets over the initial inertia, it might be easier.

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

Okay, here goes!