Suggestions?

Discussion in 'Special Ed 101' started by Wiped Out, Oct 2, 2006.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Not sure if this is where I should be posting this but here goes. Today I received an email from one of difficult child's Special Education. teachers. If anyone has seen my posts in the general forum this is the one he has a major personality conflict with.

    She told me today he was in the time out room for 3 1/2 minutes (not really that long). In her email she also asked if I have any ideas on how to help him have a better opinion of her.

    I feel so bad but I have no ideas. We talk to him nightly about it. It gets us nowhere. He is emotionally at about a 3 or 4 year old level so when we try to reason it doesn't help. There was a conflict when he was in 2nd grade with the same teacher. I really think difficult child has decided he isn't going to budge on this.

    Any suggestions? I haven't even responded to her email yet because I'm at a loss on ideas to give her on how to increase his opinion of her. Her personality type is not one that difficult child is likely to warm up to.
     
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    If a personality conflict causing the problem, difficult child may need to be transferred to another teacher.

    Children perceive things so differently than adults.... If the problem happens to be rooted in a trust issue, the same may apply.

    Can you give more details?
     
  3. Martie

    Martie Moderator

    I'm sorry but this teacher is not being professional. SHE should not need your difficult child to LIKE HER. It as tho' we would say "we can't parent because our children don't treat us as nicely as other kids treat their parents." DUH....

    IF the teacher has any empathy skills (doesn't sound like it --but as Sheila said, more details would be helpful) then she should be able to try to work this out with difficult child. A little understanding can go a long way, especially with a 9 year old.

    I have great sympathy for regular educators who get put in over their heads with our kids and have no support from their administration. I have much LESS (or no) sympathy for a special education teacher who NEEDS to be liked in order to teach. Training SpEd teachers 101 includes (1) don't take it personally and (2) don't need to be liked.

    Martie
     
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It really started back in 2nd grade. They didn't get along from the start and we wondered if he felt she "pushed out" the previous Special Education teacher whom he loved. (She didn't push her out she chose to leave). Even so they seemed to contuiously be at odds with one another. When difficult child doesn't like someone watch out! He can make their life miserable. As parents of difficult child we are used to it-I would think spec. ed teachers would be too.

    At the end of 2nd grade she became very ill and almost died. She survived (thank God) and is now in a wheel chair.

    She came back and I get the feeling she wanted to work with difficult child again. This surprised me. difficult child needs someone with a good sense of humor who is consistent, fair yet flexible if that makes sense? The thing is even though he is no angel he has generally like teachers at school (gets mad yes-but gets over it) except for this teacher.

    We are in somewhat of an awkward circumstance because husband teaches at the same school. I really feel for the benefit of difficult child and the teacher a new placement should be made. Of course, doing that rocks the whole placement boat for others.
     
  5. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    [ QUOTE ]
    The thing is even though he is no angel he has generally like teachers at school (gets mad yes-but gets over it) except for this teacher.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Based on the above, this seems atypical behavior for him.

    There are so many different things that could be going on here, unless he can tell you the root problem there may not be much you can do to help change his attitude. And it could be just a true personality conflict.

    [ QUOTE ]
    I really feel for the benefit of difficult child and the teacher a new placement should be made.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Trust you instincts.
     
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