Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by witzend, May 9, 2008.

  1. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Well, there happens to be a holiday coming on Sunday. I'm not sure about the other forums, but we have been strangely silent on PE about it. Am I the only one dreading it?

    husband has made arrangements for brunch at a nice restaurant. L, who hasn't spoken to me since the last screaming match told him she will come. And that she has moved in for round three with her 36 year old boyfriend. At least I think he's 36. He was 32 or 33 when she first started dating him four years ago, and she's still telling me he's 33. Whatever...

    I told husband that he could invite M, but M could only come if he could not make it all about him and his grandiose thoughts. I haven't seen him in 4 or 5 years now. It's been so long I don't even remember. He's given a generic "sorry I was a jerk" apology to husband. When he needed financial help.

    To top it off, husband set it up so that L would be driving M to and from. They haven't seen each other in years either. And she's mad at me because I told her it was time to grow up. I'm sure they'll have some lovely conversation on the way to or from. Maybe they'll go visit my mom to talk about how I "shoved her around".

    Ugh! I should have just stuck with asking for a plant!
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Ever since my Mom died, I've dreaded Mother's Day. I've said this always makes me sad because it makes me miss her so much more. Mother's Day to me was honoring her and trying to surprise her and make her laugh and I used to look forward to it every year.

    Rob might call me Sunday. Maybe.

  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    There is a thread in the watercooler for those not looking forward to Sunday. "CD cheers, jeers, ect....." (sorry, I can't remember the rest)
  4. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I say scr-w Mothers Day.
    OK, that was rude. I sound like difficult child.
    How about, forget Mother's Day. I have to work anyway, and I have decided to refuse to even acknowledge it.
    I helped one too many father's today at the store with "their obligatory Mother's Day gift" not to be jaded. Sorry.:sheepish:
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I wish I could forget it. You'll be envied on Sunday, Steely. ;)
  6. judi

    judi Active Member

    easy child and his wife and our grand-daughter are having a BBQ for me tomorrow as he works Sunday. I have only spoken to difficult child once since Jan and haven't seen him since December. Doubt I hear from him. Have decided that I must cherish what I have. I am able to be very involved in difficult child's son's life and thru him I hope for him to have cherished memories too.

    I want to wish everyone here a very happy Mother's Day. For many of us it is bittersweet. I have been here on and off for over 7 years - gee where does time fly? At any rate, we must remain positive and remember our children for the most part are making their own decisions, be they wise or not.
  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    My whole family is supposed to get together at my grandmother's place on Sunday afternoon.

    I don't feel much like going. Right now, I am not feeling like much of a mom, given what's going on with Copper. And I'll probably be all preoccupied in my own little world. And it's not like I can really tell anyone what's bothering me...

    But Tink made me a beautiful picture.
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Judi, thank you for some very wise thoughts. A happy mother's day to you, too.

    BBK, I hope that you will be able to have a nice time at g'mas. Take the sweet where you can. Leave the bitter on the plate for someone else. ;)

    I know I'm heading home as soon as brunch is over. Maybe I'll take a hot bath and sip some of that highbrow tequila I bought in Mexico. Believe it or not, it's still barely spring here. It will be about 57 degrees and raining...
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Oh Tink..........what a sweetie.
    I remember when M. made me a little book for Mother's Day. Now, I think I may just get a grunt.
    So sorry about Copper. I wish I had words of wisdom, but I don't. I would be just like you, completely distraught and distracted until I figured out what I should do.
    Hugs to all on this Mother's Day! We all deserve SO much!!!
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Happy Moms day to all of you.

    We normally dont make much out of this day but my family seems to have suddenly grown some I got a foot spa last weekend when we visited Jamie, Cory is getting my hair cut for me, and Billy is taking me out to lunch on Saturday. I also got a nice mothers day check and card from my Dad so I got me a new pair of pants and a couple of shirts. (Do I even need to say I snuck in some clothes for Keyana? LOL)

    Worst part is we wont have Keyana this weekend and that makes it two whole weeks without her...sigh. I miss my big girl.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Ahhh, lucky girl!!! Enjoy your gifts.


    SONS GONE WILD Moms goin' crazy

    Bittersweet day for us too. It's been only 1 1/2 years since my mom passed away and this is the first mothers day since mother in law passed away, so it will be a hard one. I think we'll have a quiet day, told husband instead of going out to a crowded restaurant, let's get some boiled crawfish and hang out around the pool. Since difficult child is behaving somewhat, hopefully we'll have a nice quiet day . . . just hope husband isn't too depressed over his mom. Happy Day to All. We all deserve it!
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    OK, I'm coming to your house!

    Not kidding!
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I haven't got a clue what's in store for me come Mother's Day. I gave a huge hint to husband that I wanted to eat at either Red Lobster or Olive Garden. In order words, I told him I was eating at one or the other with him or without him.:dissapointed:

    That is of course, unless the kids have different plans. But we will all gather at mother in law's at some point in the day. No huge affair. Just a small visit and giving her presents while she gets to see the great grands. She gets more of a kick out of them than anything. mother in law is about to become a great great grand. My great neice is due in Sept. lol

    I hope everyone has a pleasant Mother's Day.

  15. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Agh!! Crawfish??? I have such nasty memories of them when I lived in Fl. People sucking the brains over areas you shouldn't be....

    Sorry, don't mean to rain on your parade, but that is one thing I couldn't do.

    Hanging out by the pool? Now THAT I can do.

    I hope you have a wonderful day.

  16. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You know, I'm sitting here thinking, and I'm just going to have to make the best of it, I guess. Good food, beautiful setting, and a step forward in mending fences with M. It can't get any worse than it has been.

    A breakfast does not a lifetime make.
  17. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Mothers Day is very depressing for me, year after year. Just a reminder of kids that are still ungrateful. No one was ever around when they were little to take them to buy gifts or cards for me, or remind them what day it was, it was just me. Their dad certainly didn't remind them (even though I was the good guy and bought HIM fathers day gifts from them). Now that my mother is gone (2 years ago), more reminders... of a mom I loved, but was never really close to, and I feel badly about that.

    Now that Youngest is a mother, she thinks this day is all about HER. She even talks about what she wants for mothers day, like it's Christmas or something.

    Blah. I hate mothers day.

    This year, at least, I bought myself a huge present... I have tickets to see BB King Sunday night. Second row seats, even. Now THAT is something to look forward to.
  18. Star*

    Star* call 911

    A different kind of Mother's Day -

    You know, sometimes I sit and do nothing but listen to the world. Right now as I type I can hear a bevy of birdsongs, the wind in the trees, the hum of my own computer, the sound of my fingers tapping the keyboard. I can see the screen, I can look over my shoulder out the window and observe squirrels, birds, an occasional car going by, flowers in my yard blooming, DF and his walker going to the mail box.

    And it hit me that while I'm just as aware that tomorrow is Mother's Day for us all (unless yer a dude and then bugger). IT made me think of what I really am grateful about. Am I SO grateful that a basket of soap will change my world if my kids bring it to me?
    I too started to think about Dude and being alone tomorrow even through he's just down the road. I need help digging a line ditch for our electric because I bought the money pit of houses and trying to do it ourselves is our only option. I asked Dude, even offered to pay and he still couldn't find the time. So oh well. He is who he is.

    So tomorrow I'm not going to expect a thing. If I even get a visit? That will be nice, but I think about the Mother's here who have lost their child. (me too) and ask myself does one day a year REALLY make up for all the crappy behavior and names and ugliness? If there were no mother's day and it was just the same old week - would I be ANY different from those Mother's who don't have a difficult child? Not really. IS a scarf or some perfume on day out of the year going to "make it all better" or heal some "I wish you would have showed me you cared, especially today." secret hope. No. Not just no HELL no.

    Tomorrow is NO more special than any other day ladies. I want to be treated NICE 365 days a year. If I can't have than then I don't really give a hang about getting some forced gift tomorrow. How about for a Mother's Year - or a MOther's LIFE? If they can't think about me 364 days a year I don't see where having the same hoopla that other Mothers will have is going to make it better. I dont' have what THEY have all year long anyway. WHY oh WHY would I secretly wish for anything on this day any more than I secretly wish for it any other day?

    I have found great contentment in knowing a few things -
    I can HEAR the birds outside. That's a lovely gift. Ihave ears. I am not deaf.
    I can SEE the squirrels playing. I have eyes.
    I am typing to you on this computer so apparently I'm a nitche up from poverty and have ALL OF YOU - 365 days a year - HOW blessed am I?
    I am sitting in a house - I have a home. I think of Darfur
    I am able to type - I have hands - some of our soldiers do not.
    I realize that I 'get it' that I appreciate what I don't have and have dealt so long with the NOT getting things I wanted or hoped for that I have become spoiled and forgot what I do have.

    If I have nothing more than you - I have hundreds of reasons to smile.

    And if by some chance Dude decides that it IS Mother's Day tomorrow and shows up to say hello - it's a bonus - because he actually thought about me. If he doesn't ? IT will be just like every other day where I work on detaching because I am able to and let it go.

    I hope whatever kind of day you have that you can find something to appreciate in your world and use your detachement skills for the rest.

    To those of you who have lost YOUR Mother? I am so sorry and you have my biggest sympathies and hugs. Perhaps it would be an okay time to honor her memory by buying some flowers for someone elses elderly Mother who maybe has no children left and leaving them anonymously at a nursing home or porch? At least you get to still give something.

    Oh and as far as you crawdad zombies? YUK!

    To the rest of you -

  19. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Amen, Star. Well said.
  20. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I hope her lovely baby gets her what she wants for Mother's Day! :crazy1:

    Good for you! I love The Blues! I know that you will have a wonderful time!