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Sundays are hard! (Warning whiny post ahead)
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 466651"><p>Yes, I have talked to my other boys. In fact, I told them that my own brother and I often complain to each other about our own mother whom we love dearly. So, I totally understand if they gripe to each other about me - heck - I expect them to do so - it's healthy.</p><p></p><p>We had a heart to heart when difficult child left and they assured me that they do not hate us and that it was simple sibling griping. My difficult child also told us that night "M and C know i smoke pot and I drink and they are FINE with it." So we had that discussion too. They confirmed that yes - their older brother had said such and told me they know it's not OK. H and I have spoken about that often - <em><strong>in what world did my difficult child think it was OK to tell his 13 yo brother that he is smoking weed and drinking?</strong></em> I know he was trying to justify it - to himself - but that's a very sure sign that he is not the man he once was. My younger son idolizes his oldest brother and until my eldest became a difficult child - he was VERY cognizant of and RESPECTED that idolization and tried very very hard to be worthy of it. Until this summer, difficult child was the greatest older brother any easy child 2 could want. In fact, easy child 2 purposely chose difficult child's football number for his own jersey. He couldn't get it this year (woes of a freshman) so he chose a double digit that added up to it. ("32" instead of "5")</p><p></p><p>easy child 1 is the strong silent type. Never wanted to be grouped in with difficult child-even as a baby. He is the type of person who likes to fly under the radar. A man of very few words and an old soul. I have to be very careful talking about difficult child with him. We've had brief conversations but I need to make sure I don't make it about difficult child. When difficult child was still a easy child and at home, we used to joke about our home turning into the "Eldest son Show". easy child 1 would hate the spotlight on him, difficult child seemed to love it. (So long as it was shining on his accomplishments.) I do my best to let easy child 1 determine where our conversations go...I have always respected that he knows what's best for himself. </p><p></p><p>Like Janet, I figure if my kids like me too much - I am doing something wrong! But, down deep, I hope that they have abiding love for their mom and dad and brothers. Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>(and rejectedmom - my difficult child does has a substance/bravado issue - nothing like aspies or anything else. just 19yo jerk. Yes I said it. We all know men just like that. Never thought I'd call one of them "son" which is what stings.)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 466651"] Yes, I have talked to my other boys. In fact, I told them that my own brother and I often complain to each other about our own mother whom we love dearly. So, I totally understand if they gripe to each other about me - heck - I expect them to do so - it's healthy. We had a heart to heart when difficult child left and they assured me that they do not hate us and that it was simple sibling griping. My difficult child also told us that night "M and C know i smoke pot and I drink and they are FINE with it." So we had that discussion too. They confirmed that yes - their older brother had said such and told me they know it's not OK. H and I have spoken about that often - [I][B]in what world did my difficult child think it was OK to tell his 13 yo brother that he is smoking weed and drinking?[/B][/I] I know he was trying to justify it - to himself - but that's a very sure sign that he is not the man he once was. My younger son idolizes his oldest brother and until my eldest became a difficult child - he was VERY cognizant of and RESPECTED that idolization and tried very very hard to be worthy of it. Until this summer, difficult child was the greatest older brother any easy child 2 could want. In fact, easy child 2 purposely chose difficult child's football number for his own jersey. He couldn't get it this year (woes of a freshman) so he chose a double digit that added up to it. ("32" instead of "5") easy child 1 is the strong silent type. Never wanted to be grouped in with difficult child-even as a baby. He is the type of person who likes to fly under the radar. A man of very few words and an old soul. I have to be very careful talking about difficult child with him. We've had brief conversations but I need to make sure I don't make it about difficult child. When difficult child was still a easy child and at home, we used to joke about our home turning into the "Eldest son Show". easy child 1 would hate the spotlight on him, difficult child seemed to love it. (So long as it was shining on his accomplishments.) I do my best to let easy child 1 determine where our conversations go...I have always respected that he knows what's best for himself. Like Janet, I figure if my kids like me too much - I am doing something wrong! But, down deep, I hope that they have abiding love for their mom and dad and brothers. Know what I mean?? (and rejectedmom - my difficult child does has a substance/bravado issue - nothing like aspies or anything else. just 19yo jerk. Yes I said it. We all know men just like that. Never thought I'd call one of them "son" which is what stings.) [/QUOTE]
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