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Parent Emeritus
Sundays are hard! (Warning whiny post ahead)
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 467656" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Much as he may say ugly things, seeing you going on about being the parent your other kids need, the spouse your husband needs, and the person that YOU need, will probably be one of the best lessons you could teach him. </p><p></p><p>What lesson?</p><p></p><p>That the world, and his mother, do NOT revolve around him. That he is NOT the center of the universe or the most important thing in ANY person's life other than his own. in my opinion we ALL need to learn this lesson.</p><p></p><p>HOW will it help difficult child to be able to look at you and see that he has taken the joy and meaning out of YOUR life? WHO will he then give the heavy responsibility of being the joy and meaning of his own life? We ALL have to give our own lives joy and meaning - NO ONE can carry the weight of that responsibility for another person. they just can't. I dated a guy who expected me to make his life "right" and "meaningful" and "good". It was exhausting. I couldn't take pride or joy in my successes with-o him getting really angry for "shirking" the duty of making sure he did what he needed to do to be emotionally okay. He was even jealous of any book I read because he felt it took too much of my energy away from him. We didn't date long because that is just not a game I could play with-o giving up every drop of joy I felt in/about my own life and accomplishments.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 467656, member: 1233"] Much as he may say ugly things, seeing you going on about being the parent your other kids need, the spouse your husband needs, and the person that YOU need, will probably be one of the best lessons you could teach him. What lesson? That the world, and his mother, do NOT revolve around him. That he is NOT the center of the universe or the most important thing in ANY person's life other than his own. in my opinion we ALL need to learn this lesson. HOW will it help difficult child to be able to look at you and see that he has taken the joy and meaning out of YOUR life? WHO will he then give the heavy responsibility of being the joy and meaning of his own life? We ALL have to give our own lives joy and meaning - NO ONE can carry the weight of that responsibility for another person. they just can't. I dated a guy who expected me to make his life "right" and "meaningful" and "good". It was exhausting. I couldn't take pride or joy in my successes with-o him getting really angry for "shirking" the duty of making sure he did what he needed to do to be emotionally okay. He was even jealous of any book I read because he felt it took too much of my energy away from him. We didn't date long because that is just not a game I could play with-o giving up every drop of joy I felt in/about my own life and accomplishments. [/QUOTE]
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Sundays are hard! (Warning whiny post ahead)
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