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<blockquote data-quote="thedafan" data-source="post: 282161" data-attributes="member: 7605"><p>Hi everybody! I'm new here.... my best friend's adopted 8 year old daughter was recently diagnosed ADHD with conduct disorder and she's having a very hard time dealing with it. She's a very gentle soul herself, and dealing with this has been excruciating for her. She's been going through it with her daughter for years in a kind of denial (all her friends and family saw this coming), but now she has the actual doctor's diagnosis and is coming to terms with it. I'm trying to learn more about this disorder -- especially from the parent's point of view -- so I can be more empathetic to her situation, when I happened upon your support group here. But perhaps you can help me too... When my friend tells me stories about her daughter's behavior (usually stories about her abusing friends at school, stealing, or lying outrageously with no remorse), I get very upset. It's frustrating for me because my friend and I have such vastly differerent parenting styles, so even on the best day, I'm biting my tongue as I'm trying to be a supportive friend. My kids, while they have their problems, are not like this at all, but I'm not there every day going through what she goes through, so I try really hard not to make any suggestions (though occasionally i do despite myself). Do you have suggestions for what I could say that might help her and support her through this? I hope that doesn't sound like I'm stupid, but in all actuality, I'm stymied. What would you need to hear from your friend?</p><p></p><p>Thank you!</p><p>Thedafan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="thedafan, post: 282161, member: 7605"] Hi everybody! I'm new here.... my best friend's adopted 8 year old daughter was recently diagnosed ADHD with conduct disorder and she's having a very hard time dealing with it. She's a very gentle soul herself, and dealing with this has been excruciating for her. She's been going through it with her daughter for years in a kind of denial (all her friends and family saw this coming), but now she has the actual doctor's diagnosis and is coming to terms with it. I'm trying to learn more about this disorder -- especially from the parent's point of view -- so I can be more empathetic to her situation, when I happened upon your support group here. But perhaps you can help me too... When my friend tells me stories about her daughter's behavior (usually stories about her abusing friends at school, stealing, or lying outrageously with no remorse), I get very upset. It's frustrating for me because my friend and I have such vastly differerent parenting styles, so even on the best day, I'm biting my tongue as I'm trying to be a supportive friend. My kids, while they have their problems, are not like this at all, but I'm not there every day going through what she goes through, so I try really hard not to make any suggestions (though occasionally i do despite myself). Do you have suggestions for what I could say that might help her and support her through this? I hope that doesn't sound like I'm stupid, but in all actuality, I'm stymied. What would you need to hear from your friend? Thank you! Thedafan [/QUOTE]
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