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<blockquote data-quote="thedafan" data-source="post: 282199" data-attributes="member: 7605"><p>Thank you all for the advice! WOW! Much appreciated! </p><p></p><p>Yes, if I recall, there is a history of drug/alcohol abuse on the genetic parents' side (one of many reasons the little girl was taken away from them). My friend is a kind, decent person in a bad situation. I'm really glad she's getting help even if it is late in the game. I think none of us want to admit that there's a problem like this on our plates, least of all in our families (guilt, shame, whatever). My friend has told me stories about family reunions she goes to where some helpful auntie or cousin has heard of her problem and offers endless judgemental advice - well intentioned, but definitely unwelcome - and how frustrating it is. I don't want to be that person.</p><p></p><p>I love my friend which is why I want to do the right thing and support her - which is why I'm here. I admit, it's very, very hard on our friendship to watch her go through this. My kids, frankly, don't like being around her kids, and since my friend is from the non-confrontational school of parenting, when there's a problem I have to step in and say something (which, again, makes me the bad guy and makes things stressful). I'm doing my best, and I try to keep in mind, so is she. That's all any of us can do.</p><p></p><p>For what it's worth, I have mentioned to her that she amazes me and I count my blessings every day because I'm not sure I could ever handle what she's going through - and it's never meant to be insulting. Really!</p><p></p><p>Thank you all again! Please keep your insights coming - it helps a lot!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="thedafan, post: 282199, member: 7605"] Thank you all for the advice! WOW! Much appreciated! Yes, if I recall, there is a history of drug/alcohol abuse on the genetic parents' side (one of many reasons the little girl was taken away from them). My friend is a kind, decent person in a bad situation. I'm really glad she's getting help even if it is late in the game. I think none of us want to admit that there's a problem like this on our plates, least of all in our families (guilt, shame, whatever). My friend has told me stories about family reunions she goes to where some helpful auntie or cousin has heard of her problem and offers endless judgemental advice - well intentioned, but definitely unwelcome - and how frustrating it is. I don't want to be that person. I love my friend which is why I want to do the right thing and support her - which is why I'm here. I admit, it's very, very hard on our friendship to watch her go through this. My kids, frankly, don't like being around her kids, and since my friend is from the non-confrontational school of parenting, when there's a problem I have to step in and say something (which, again, makes me the bad guy and makes things stressful). I'm doing my best, and I try to keep in mind, so is she. That's all any of us can do. For what it's worth, I have mentioned to her that she amazes me and I count my blessings every day because I'm not sure I could ever handle what she's going through - and it's never meant to be insulting. Really! Thank you all again! Please keep your insights coming - it helps a lot!! [/QUOTE]
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