Survived 1st milestone alone...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Sep 17, 2007.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I woke up crying Sunday morning at 6AM. I am NEVER up earlier than 8:30-9AM on Sat/Sun. Yesterday was apple picking day and my family was nowhere around me. H had to work on the addition, difficult child is now at her dad's and easy child is in VA working hard on her extern. I was resigned to going alone. Instead I went with a friend. I know for some, apple picking may not seem like a 'holiday' but around here it's been quite a family tradition! We have these two other large kids (teens) that hang at our house all the time and they usually come along. After picking giant bags of apples, we load up on cider donuts and fresh squeezed apple cider. It's an event and lots of fun. One year, there were 7 of us and I was so filled with joy that I cried - I know, call me a big sissy mama, I don't care. So, yesterday was my first time apple picking without my kids, all of them, and it made me sad. But I survived it.

    <span style="color: #FF6600">Next up: difficult child's birthday, then pumpkin picking for Halloween - my favorite all time holiday!</span>
  2. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Oh, Jo, so sorry! I remember one Christmas, easy child was in the hospital with a broken leg! I trimmed the tree with tears streaming down my face. What a heartbreaker!!

    Glad you went and carried on your tradition, also glad you were able to cry yourself through it.

    You're not a big sissy mama!! You're just a wonderful sensitive caring mama!

  3. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    Those 'firsts' without them are really tough. Good for you for having the tenacity to go without them!!

    "Big sissy mama" ... that cracked me up!! I would never, ever call you a "Big sissy mama" because we all know that those in glass houses should never throw stones. :smile:

  4. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Oh, good for you!

    I love the way fresh apples smell. :smile:

    We have two trees. One of them is an early ripener. I made all kinds of apple things earlier in the month.

    And even though I was here all by myself (no children, no grandchildren, no one to eat what I was baking ~ at least, not in the amounts I was making!)....

    You know?

    I had a wonderful time.

    What are you making with the apples?

    I have an excellent recipe for apple pastry bars. I just posted that on the site back when I was doing all that baking.

    If you missed it then, would you like me to post it again?


  5. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Yes, those times are tough, that's for sure. I went through it after Rob was taken off in handcuffs and shackles, never to live at home again. And then the divorce. So I am making new traditions and so will you.

    Good job for surviving your first "first."

  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The firsts alone are hard. I think I took the first Halloween when my kids were too old and Cory was in placement harder than anyone else! Then when Jamie left for the Marines and there was no one here to hunt easter eggs...omg...I was so depressed. That was his special day. He was in boot the first year so I couldnt even send him anything but the next year I went up and hid eggs for him and his (Talk about dumb, though oddly enough those boys loved me!)

    Traditions will change. Some will morph into even better ones.
  7. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    (((sunny hugs)))) Jo. :smile:

    Picking apples sounds like such fun, cooking and eating them too sounds even better.

    Maybe we FL folks should think about "picking oranges/grapefruit" with the same enthusiasm :smile:
  8. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Yep. Those firsts can be rough on a Mom.

    You wouldn't happen to have a neice or nephew just the right age who would enjoy these activities along with you, would you? Then you could be the extra fun cool auntie. :wink: And not have to do the stuff you love alone.

    My kids stopped trick or treating years ago. But I didn't. lol Once they were too old, I helped my friend take her two young boys around. And now it's just assumed Nana will go along with the grandkids. (do my kids know me or what)

    My friends boys benefitted alot from my kids outgrowing things. I helped show them how to make cut out sugar cookies, homemade decorations, all the fun stuff I did with my own family. And now Darrin and Aubrey get to enjoy all the fun, although Nana won't be doing the bulk of the work....that's a Mommy's job. lol

    Glad you decided to go out and do it anyway. :biggrin:

  9. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I think we all have diff tear jerker traditions. ant loved to carve pumpkins...bake and cook at holidays. I have to say we need to get to a "new normal". youth groups would have problem loved to come like that with you. perhaps once you are healed more, you will invite maybe a lil old lady or two to come and enjoy your festivities....hey...I am getting older and I am only 5'1 and 3/4
  10. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Thanks ladies~

    Barbara, I would love the recipe. If you don't want to repeat, please PM me with it! I am always looking for new things to do with apples. I made apple butter last year, but that is such a pain and I won't do it again. I also make applesauce and can that to give as gifts for Christmas. And of course I make apple pie filling and freeze it, apple crisp and a really excellent apple cake.

    Janet, this past Easter easy child brought home some college friends and I felt funny about having the traditional egg hunt, but she said I had to do it! So I did, outside in the yard. It was so fun to see these giant kids running around in their sleep clothes looking for eggs! H sat on the steps and just laughed and shook his head. difficult child of course was too sleepy to join in and by the time she did, she only got about 3 eggs. LOL. Halloween is a killer for me, I love Halloween. easy child will be home at least for that.

    Lisa, I have no little kiddos in the family nearby, but I may think about doing something with kids in the future. For now, I'm going to just get used to this newfound quiet and independence and see how it goes. I'm still relatively young enough to enjoy life without any kids.

    Janet, my mom is an old lady, but she's not very little and I would have loved for her to join me, but she just can't get around much these days.

    I realize that I'm simply going to have to get used to this and maybe make some adjustments - add some new traditions for H and I alone and perhaps do away with some older ones that don't apply anymore. For now, I appreciate the support.
  11. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Oh to have a family memory like that is to be cherished. There are alot of families out there that dont have that. It is good that you acknowledged the positive ones, sometimes hard to find.

    I think going on vacation every summer is ours. Even last fall my easy child and her son went with us. So this will be the first yr that that will not occur. I guess that is why we have asked friends to go with us in a few weeks.

    This early next yr we will plan a trip to the stae of Washington where our daughter is stationed.

  12. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    I will post it again in Watercooler, Jo. :smile:

    husband always tells me I need to look at it like this is a different time. He says I should be glad I had those times rather than sad they are over.

    So I try to think that way.

    Sometimes, I give half of whatever I make to the neighbors.

    We had the roof replaced one year? And there were like, four young men working on it?

    And every day I fed them dinner and made cookies and was so happy to have someone hungry eating at my house that it wasn't even funny.

    And I was still working, then!

    Anyway, I will post the apple squares in Watercooler. There is just a certain something about the scent of apples baking....


  13. KFld

    KFld New Member

    All of these things will get easier. I remember the first year my difficult child didn't want to come with us to cut down the xmas tree. This was always a huge thing we did together with h's brother and his family. We drove up to this place with our pick up trucks, cut our trees down together and went to Friendly's for lunch. The hardest part was that they would take your picture with your tree, then the next year before you found your tree you would go find your picture from the year before. It was hard to get that first picture with just the 3 of us in it.

    The first year was very difficult. The second year was a little easier and then as time went on, we changed our traditions for other reasons. Times change, people change and we all need to keep on going!!!

    Heck, this year it looks like me and easy child daughter will be the only ones picking out our tree this year. I know I'll have to gear myself up for that one.
  14. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I cried when I didnt have to make halloween costumes I am so NOT a crafty person but I loved to make those costumes! I dont even own a sewing machine so I would glue or iron on tape the things together but they were soooo cute.

    I cant wait to get started with