Surviving our holiday!

[lovelyboy]

We are going into our second week of sea holiday....It started of bumpy with ghg who thought it's appropriate to redefine the relationship with his grandma the first 2 days with swearing, burping and being totaly inappropriate....Luckily she handled it very well so that got better.....
Today he was starting to get tearfull saying he misses home, his bed, friends and dogs...oh and tv!
The problem now, and this is where I need some advice please: He wants his dads full attention ALL THE TIME! My husband has been giving him attention all the time...doing go cars, dvd, putt putt, reading, walking, playing...My hubby is getting VERY irritated and tired of all this...he cant sit for 10 min to read then ghg wants attention...he keeps on saying that his dad doesnt want to spend time with him! My son gets tearfull and misrable the moment my husband wants to do his own thing! Do you know why my son is behaving this way and what to do?

 

[Malika]

Hope you are managing to get some rest and relaxation
Difficult to know at a distance what is going on for your son, obviously, but it sounds like it is a kind of repetitive habit, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) persistent kind of thing - your son has got into this groove and just keeps working it. I would take forcible distracting attraction and give dad a rest by taking son off to something he really wants to do or see - must be a few options there. Break the pattern.
Good luck... and good holiday.

 

[DammitJanet]

I have to agree with Malika. Could he be jealous of his father for some reason or could he be jealous of you doing something and is taking it out on dad? Maybe he feels out of sorts and is trying to cling to someone familiar to an over the top extent.

I do think I would force him to do something without dad though. Say Dad has x amount of time to be alone and he will spend X amount of time with difficult child. No more no less. Dad will play 2 games, read him 3 books and go play one game of putt putt but then difficult child has to amuse himself with some other things and leave dad alone. Something like that. Make up your own schedule obviously because I have no idea what you have to do...lol.

 

[buddy]

Any chance you could write out a schedule so he does not have to worry about when, where, how much time.... he can then know that there WILL be time with dad but it is not all the time. You can fill in the other times. He may not change at first but with so many AS kids, this really takes some of the anxiety out of it, especially if you promise to stick to it and do. Hubby is probably doing more than that effort wise now anyway, (so are you).

I hope your vacation goes well.... sorry if this is not much help.

 

[lovelyboy]

Thanx for your input!!!!!!It really helps!
You know what.....it's so great to know even when I am on holiday I can always turn to you guys for support and ideas!
I agree.....maybe its just al this change in normal routine thats stressing him out! He was crying last night saying he miss his bed, home exct!
Its so difficult having a kido thats different! Sometimes I just feel so frustrated with the situation.....we cant just get in the car and do things.....its always planning, planning, planning! But it could have been worse....but its chalenging having a develpmental disability....from outside and afar it looks so normal! but oh boy!

 

[Bunny]

Could it be an insecurity thing? He's away from him, his friends, his toys, his whole routine. Maybe he thinks that his father is a constant at the moment. Does his dad spend alot of time with him when you are all home?

 

[lovelyboy]

It makes sense.....maybe he does feel safe with his dad.....At home his father works alot so he mostly spend time during the weekends......I also think he is a bit jelous of sharing his parents with his grandparents.....He is use of getting all our time and attention....I wonder how his thoughts regarding this is because he also struggles with accepting that other children can receive birthday gifts and not him or prizes....

 

[BusynMember]

Lovelyboy, I agree with those who say he is probably stressed from a change of routine. My Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) son is eighteen and he still doesn't care for sleeping away from home. When we go to hotels, I have to give him a Benadryl or he can't sleep. Even if we go somewhere where he has a good time, he would rather be at home.

 

[lovelyboy]

Midwest.....what makes this so difficult is again the fact that from the outside he looks fine and as if he is enjoying things and then out of the blue comes the irritibility and when prompted the crying and admitting that he is really feeling terrible!
When you read literature on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) they say that these kids dont like new adventures and find change in routine difficult....the picture this brings to mind is the child going into meltdown, crying exct.....but with the high functioning ones if I'm observing correctly it's just becoming so irritable, board, annoying, rude, clingy, attention seeking and obsessive (I noticed my son doesn't want to step on the small carpets in the holiday house)....he also started chewing his shirts again!!!! But all this is seldom documented in literature.....? And this is what makes identifying this as being part of the illness so difficult!And also trying to explain to outsiders that this is not just normal old rudeness and manipulation!