Just a quick vent. I feel really badly for my father, who really wants his children to all get along. Yet we never all did. Ever. There were always issues, and times when, especially Sis, would not speak to me or bro. When I got into my accident my dad put pressure on my sister to contact my family. She didn't want to and should not have been pressured into trying. She didn't care about my accident or me and it was wrong to make her fake it. He sent flowers to me in his AND my siblings names, but I never did see the flowers as I was busy being incoherant in surgical ICU so my sister has been said to have been put out that I didn't at least thank her foar the flowers that I didn't know about. It was one more thing, in her opinion, that showed her what a creepy person I am (shrug). An example of when trying to intrude on and control somebody backfired and made things either the same, which wasn't what he wanted, or even worse. Good reminder to stay out of other people's affairs...well meant, but pointless. Recently my father lost his temper. My husband, w ho has been terrific as I heal, was told by doctors that stress is very bad for me right now and he could hear, through the speaker of my cell phone, that my father was yelling a nd what he was saying. He took the phone out of my hands and tried to calm him down. At one time he said to my father, "FatherOfSWOT, no, no, no. Even if Sis is willing to drive you up here for a visit I'm sorry. We don't need Sis up here. She is not welcome." I really am grateful he said that. I don't really believe Sis would do that in my behalf, even for our father, but just in case...he made it clear it was not just me that did not want any sort of contact. He himself had been (husband had) a victim of her phone calls to him as she tattled on me and her calls to the police and he also knew how i had loved her and how sh e had hurt m e. My father is also upset that Brother and I do not talk. Frankly, I'm not sure why we don't talk. Bro wrote me a letter once about what bothered him about me (I hadn't known anything did) and I chose not to read it so I will never know his gripes. I am fine with leaving him to himself. When he visits my father, my father used to try to get us to talk to one another. That would have been so awkward so now I don't call if I know he is with my father. He doesn't go often as he lives far away. My father really doesn't get the role my mother played in this estrangement, but that doesn't matter. I am sorry to hurt him, but it was not my choice to not speak to them. They made the choice and now that it is done, I see that it is a good thing for me too. But I would not have initiated a shunning. I would go low contact, but never a shun. It's mean. I wish my elderly father did not care. I do not believe he has a clue about how dysfunctional our family always was. He has been very good to me lately and has stopped mentioning them; respecting my boundary not to discuss them to me or me to them. I am really sorry nobody I know can drive him up here to see where I live, but it's a long, bad ride anyway and I go down there often. He can see me when I visit and he does. As I write this, I see my guilty conscience has not gone away. Yet there is nothing I can do...can't even call either one and say, "Hey, let's fake it for Dad." I'd gladly fake it to make him happy. Ok, so Christmas is done for us and we had a nice holiday both in Chicago and Wisconsin. Seeing mly father this weekend triggered my guilt, but I'll get over it as I can only control myself, not anybody else. Hope you all survived the holiday with happiness. Not expecting any responses. This was a vent. There is not much anybody can say. Hugs to all!