yup it's me, always heavy topics......lol maybe someday i'll write about something funny ya think?? lol probably not. so yup not doing the "poor me" thing, i'm still quite healthy love my kids, yet ontop of other things i'm handling with difficult child which always takes front and center it seems i've got a relationship issue. boyfriend well it was learned about 5 mos ago that he had an emotional affair with someone that lasted a while 7 mos. unbeknownst to me. it was a co worker ofcourse. he didn't anti up i found out alot just be being very aware, and snooping end of day once i had the love letter in my hand (it was unopened), a valentines day card begging for ummm you know what pleading with him actually i knew the jig was up and it was time to confront. long story short very recently past few days the topic came up again. we have been trying to rebuild our relationship in the mist of the normaly craziness, i'm been trying to regain my trust, etc. yet it's hard and difficult. worst of all he is trying to make it seem like it was less than it was. that she was the pursuer not him. yet he answered her calls, called her himself, answered her texts with his own, accepted boxers and a love letter for xmas last year, accepted and opened a valentines day card. two days ago i learned because i asked and i felt ready for more info when it is he saw her since he's always either working or home, and since she wasn't an employee there anylonger at his business. so he told me the truth but i didn't handle it too well. silly me lol she apparentley visited him at work periodically, and would wait for him on occassion till he finished working so he could drive her home. unbeknownst to me. i would find pre paid cell cards in his truck i knew she had one of those yet he would make up excuses. it began it sounds as something innocent, yet once he knew she was falling for him, he was playing shoulder to cry on he didn't end it he continued. huge mistake. i'll never know if anything physical happened he says no not at all. yet my trust in him has diminished to almost nothing. then learning that she visited him at his business at night, it's a restaraunt, that he drove her home on occassion. yuck. so i guess i'm in deciding mode right now. if i want to continue trying to move forward or chuck him basically speaking. yea he's been very supportive with difficult child, bought me a new truck when mine died, has allowd me not to work to be there for her. yet trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship and he crossed the line and for a very long time at that. hate to change difficult child's life right now. that would cause quite the disruption in her i know it would. yet if you can't trust and to boot as i had mentioned he keeps trying to underplay it which is why i'm probably stuck in this mode. he admits he made huge mistake, he admits he never should of allowed himself to be her shoulder to cry on, yet he doesnt grasp the whole "emotional affair" thing. yet i've learned he did share personal very personal info with her pertaining to his life, his former wife, my children's names that made me very ill.