Sweet Betsy and Social Anxiety

[MrsMcNear46]

Hi All-

Must say that Sweet Betsy is doing awsome these days...almost a easy child. Taking a full load of college classes online-so she can be home with Lincoln and making all A's. She has really grown up and matured beyond my wildest imagination.

She is suffering from admitted social anxiety. This from a kid who was always in the mix of friends, competed as a USGA gymnast for many years, never met a stanger. Now she breaks out in hives if going to home of friends, and is pretty much afraid to be around people she does'nt know.

Any suggestions on how she can overcome this? She is trying to make friends in Chicago but is having trouble because she breaks out in hives and is embaressed.

I hate to see this holding her back and would like to offer suggestions but don't know much about this subject.

Blessings to All,

Mrs. McNear

 

[house of cards]

I was always a shy kid yet when I did horse shows I had no problem because I didn't feel anyone else was there, I was in my own little world just doing my horse thing. I didn't get bad til adulthood when I was able to modify my life so I didn't have to do those uncomfortable things. At times I was almost aggraphobic, what helped me was needed to get out and do things...in my case foster care was important to me so I was willing to push past my comfort zone, attend classes, open my home to caseworkers, ect...my kids are still pushing me way past my comfort zone. She needs to want something bad enough to endure the discomfort....does that make any sense?

 

[everywoman]

I would suggest something like mommy and me---a baby "gymnastics" class. It is something she is familiar with and she won't be the center of attention. It will help her bond with other mothers---some hopefully older, good role models.

 

[Nomad]

Is she seeing a therapist? Yes, she is doing well, but this problem could very well lead into difficult child territory. How can she maintain friendships and particularly work relationships with severe social anxiety? A therapist might be able to help ger, She might even need medication. On her own, she might want to gradually expose herself (slowly put herself into situations) that will allow her to be with others. Like the others said, perhaps find things that she enjoys doing...building with each week or month.

 

[Star*]

Mrs. McNear,

I am so delighted to hear our Sweet Betsy is growing up. I bet Lincoln is an absolute doll baby!

I see a therapist that deals with social anxieties and phobias. He does a particular type of therapy called EMDR - it's not the usual yak yak of therapy - and a lot of phobias are cured with as few as two-four visits.

It's a specialty - but if she has medicaid - a lot of therapists will accept it for EMDR - and wouldn't it be lovely if it were gone? The nice people she could meet.

Hugs
Good to hear from you - and get an update on Sweet Betsy.

 

[mstang67chic]

I would suggest something like mommy and me---a baby "gymnastics" class. It is something she is familiar with and she won't be the center of attention. It will help her bond with other mothers---some hopefully older, good role models.

She took the words right out of my mouth. I know Lincoln may be a little young for that but I'm sure there are various Mommy & Me activities.

Another idea if she can handle it is to maybe volunteer to teach gymnastics to the kids in the baby gymnastics class or something along that line. Yes she would have to "put herself out there" but it would be something that she is very familiar and comfortable with.

One more thought.....everytime I'm on Yahoo, I see ads for Mom groups. I know there are also message areas on Craig's List for parents too. Maybe she could find something online for her area and ease into it a bit. Then if she feels that she's gotten to know people well enough, she could move up to meeting them in person for play dates or coffee.

 

[Steely]

Star
What does EMDR stand for?
McNear, my son has agoraphobia and it has been difficult. Sending hugs, and hopes that Betsy will find the key that unlocks her joy.

 

[MrsMcNear46]

Thanks for all of your responses. For the past 7 years I've been able to count on my board friends to care and advise. I certainly appriciate it.

Betsy has joined a moms group and has a meet up today. She is anxious but determined. There are also gymnastic classes for kids a few blocks up the street from her and she is going to apply for a job there as soon as the semester is over.

I think she has just kind of isolated herself since Lincoln was born. Kinda brought up some insecurities, but I am certain she will overcome them. She has always been very determined to achive her goals, whatever they may be. Thank God these days, they are good goals. I cannot even come close to explaining how much my Sweet Betsy has grown up.

Wanted to share what she told me a couple of weeks ago when I asked her what she thought it was that turned her life around. She explained the first was that when her problems became her problems alone and no longer mine, she knew things had to change.
She credits just getting older and maturing as the biggest factor. She is no longer a child; now a wonderful amazing young woman that I am extremely proud of.

Thanks and Blessings to All,

Mrs McNear