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Sweet Betsy-Question?
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<blockquote data-quote="Bean" data-source="post: 363589" data-attributes="member: 8620"><p>I don't necessarily think that open communication means taking every call you get (if your kid is anything like mine, that can be oodles of calls in the span of minutes). In our case, if I don't talk to her in 24 hours, I worry a bit - mostly because <em>she</em> tends to call and check in every night, even when she's drunk/high/whatever. I guess we've always been like that, even when she was in jail or treatment. Even when she was on the run she'd call. I don't know if that is good, because then when there's days she doesn't it can be really stressful for me, and it's kind of a heavy communication pattern. But, like I said, for our family it's pretty normal. We're the kind of family where we call. My husband still calls his dad, I still call my parents, when we arrive home from a trip, etc.</p><p></p><p>There's plenty of people I know who don't talk to their kid for week spans or more, and that's normal for them. In fact, a friend of mine said her kid headed back to college a week prior to our conversation and she hadn't heard from him, but assumed he was alright. </p><p></p><p>So what is normal or comfortable for you and your family? A call or text every few days to say you love her? Or is a week more "normal" for you? I 'd do what seems comfortable. Maybe ask her if she'd like for you to take her out to lunch. Neutral stuff, no strings attached, and she doesn't feel completely shut out from you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Bean, post: 363589, member: 8620"] I don't necessarily think that open communication means taking every call you get (if your kid is anything like mine, that can be oodles of calls in the span of minutes). In our case, if I don't talk to her in 24 hours, I worry a bit - mostly because [I]she[/I] tends to call and check in every night, even when she's drunk/high/whatever. I guess we've always been like that, even when she was in jail or treatment. Even when she was on the run she'd call. I don't know if that is good, because then when there's days she doesn't it can be really stressful for me, and it's kind of a heavy communication pattern. But, like I said, for our family it's pretty normal. We're the kind of family where we call. My husband still calls his dad, I still call my parents, when we arrive home from a trip, etc. There's plenty of people I know who don't talk to their kid for week spans or more, and that's normal for them. In fact, a friend of mine said her kid headed back to college a week prior to our conversation and she hadn't heard from him, but assumed he was alright. So what is normal or comfortable for you and your family? A call or text every few days to say you love her? Or is a week more "normal" for you? I 'd do what seems comfortable. Maybe ask her if she'd like for you to take her out to lunch. Neutral stuff, no strings attached, and she doesn't feel completely shut out from you. [/QUOTE]
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