Switching gears: What was your happiest memory as a mother? Your saddest?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, May 8, 2013.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I think TM tried to get us to talk about our most unhappy Mothers Days, but we kind of hijacked the thread and just wrote about our expectations of it.

    I'd like to go with a maybe mostly fun thread, that has pain in if in case it needs to be said, and talk about our very best experiences as a mother and we can talk about our worst experiences too. Good/bad mommy moments :) Hopefully, good support to all :)

    My best mommy days were when Scott ran off the airplane at O'Hare and into my arms and called me "Daddy." Of course, that happy memory is jaded now, but it is still a wonderful memory.

    When Julie was handed to me by a weary soldier who had held her all the way from Korea and he said, "She's been crying all the way in." But she stopped crying right away when I took her and grinned a big toothless grin and she was mine.

    When Julie graduated from college (never thought I'd see the day).

    When Jumper won Prom Queen. No words to describe it.

    Now the saddest times:

    When Scott left me, hands down.

    When Julie pulled a knife on herself and I had to call the cops on her.

    When I got soooooooooo angry at 35 that I did what I never do and slapped him (he was in high school) and he slapped me back across the face. Not good behavior for either of us.
  2. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Best moments:

    When easy child was born.
    When Tyrantina and Tyrannosaur was born.
    When difficult child asked if he could call me "mom" instead of "Firstname".
    The first time Step-D asked me for advice, the way a daughter asks her mother.

    Worst moments:

    Walking down the long corridor into the police station to drop off a change of clothes for difficult child, the night he got arrested.
    The first time difficult child truly lost control and threatened Step-D with a knife. The paranoia-and-chaos and family-destruction years that followed from that moment.
    The day I realized that, except for husband, I truly didn't have anyone nearby who could or would help with my crazy family. That feeling of aloneness was terrifying. That was before I found all of you.
  3. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    When tk was born, neither of us died! That was a big yay!
    The first time sean said mama.
    Every day when he says mama I love you.
    When tk read to me over Skype and boyo hopped on the couch in his diaper held a book upside down and listened to her.
    Mr Lewis's first smile.
    At least once a day I feel blessed that boyo and mr Lewis want to be around me and just want me!

    When tk got her fingers slammed in the door as I was leaving for work she was 10m old.

    When tk told me that her daddy said if I loved them I wouldn't have deployed

    When tk shook boyo over a cookie.
    When she went after him with a pair of scissors.
    The day of hubs break down.
  4. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Best moments:
    Birth of difficult child and easy child
    Hearing their belly laughs, their first words, hugs and kisses.
    Reading them stories at bedtime or singing them made up songs.
    Watching difficult child excel in sports and being very proud of her.
    Being proud that difficult child ended up getting her GED.
    Being proud of easy child for getting into college with a nice academic scholarship.
    Finding this board when I was at my wits end on how to deal with a difficult child. I have never had close friends, so you all let me vent and offered advice without judging me
    difficult child being a wonderful mommy to my grand kids. Her eyes sparkle when she talks about them.

    Worst moments:
    When difficult child got her first stitches at 4 years old.
    When difficult child drama all started and I had no idea if we would survive. (My family still does not talk to us, but I have learned to move on and enjoy my life).
    Having to call the police when difficult child went on a horrible rage and destroyed things in the house and threatening me.
    Going to visit difficult child in juvie.
  5. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Best moments:
    When Miss KT graduated from high school and now, college.
    When she played sports in elementary school...one sport a season.
    Her first day of school.
    When she did the normal, easy child things, like prom, winter formal, etc.

    Worst moments:
    When she threatened to put a knife in my back while I slept.
    When I had to call the cops on her for her behavior.
    When she was caught shoplifting.
    When she went to live with my mother, even though she was impossible at home.
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Best Moments:
    easy child smiling at me moments after birth. (sorry, don't buy it was gas......she did it too often and for too long)
    When Travis survived his birth........later when it became obvious he was not going to remain in the newborn state the rest of his life.
    Nichole's OB arriving in time to prevent what happened to Travis from happening to her.
    Travis graduating HS on the honor roll. (never saw that one coming!)
    easy child graduating nursing school.
    Katie graduating the GED program & getting her drivers license.
    Nichole working her treatment program and becoming the woman I knew she could be.

    Katie running off the the grandkids without warning and not hearing from her for 6 yrs
    Travis learning to accept his blindness
    Nichole's downward spiral coming to a head.......her trying to kill her now husband........and having to force her into the psychiatric hospital for postpartum depression on top of everything else she had going on
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Best? When she told her teacher that she has the best mom ever. It's big because she also had told the same teacher earlier that she was afraid to go home to me after getting in trouble in the class. There are others but that one stands out today.

    Worst? When her hands and feet swelled up and we had several appointments with various specialists to rule out everything from cancer to a congenital heart defect.

    When she was diagnosis'd with asthma in first grade and her symptoms had been there for many, many weeks.

    Counting her respirations per dr orders when she was very sick during the swine flu epidemic.

    Telling her she was going to have a private Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation sfter she became overwhelmed and lost it ib 4th grade. She said she was relieved because maybe she could be like other kids if the Occupational Therapist (OT) could help her.
  8. mom_to_3

    mom_to_3 Active Member

    My best?
    When my adopted difficult child was handed to me at 7 and 1/2 months old. That precious baby's eyes burned a bond into my soul. I will never forget that look, it gave me chills.
    And when my other two daughters were born.
    I wanted nothing more than to be a mother in this life and they all made my dream come true.

    My worst?
    I don't want to think about it anymore. It's over.
  9. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member


    Daughter telling me I should try out for Nickelodeon's "Funniest Mom" because "you're so funny!" when she was 11.
    Daughter making four goals in one soccer game. She was on fire that day.
    Son winning his first spelling bee in 2nd grade. The winning word: Splendid.
    Son and Daughter, one on each side, curling up with me in my hospital bed when I had surgery in 2007.

    Daughter being taken from me by CPS while I screamed in the police station parking lot. Later to find out she had leukemia.
    Being in court with Daughter to get a vicious group of school mates to stop harassing and bullying her when the school would do nothing.
    Daughter screaming in the middle of the living room that I'm a child abuser.
    Son telling me what horrible mother I am and that he wishes my mother, his grandmother, was his mom.
    Being told by the doctor that Son's behavior is upsetting to the other patients and could I please get him to stop. Of course, no matter what I did, he wouldn't stop.

    Mother's Day? Eh! Whatever. Never much of a deal around here. They usually both forget. I just try to have a good day on my own.
  10. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    -When they put difficult child to my breast just after birth before even cutting a cord. I was not prepared to the feelings i had at that moment at all. Pregnancy was emotionally very tough time for me in several reasons. Even in best circumstances it would had been tough to go through my own relationship with my mom (which I guess is typical while pregnant) and circumstances were all but ideal. I didn't know if I was expecting a baby of my husband or an other man, while labour I felt like total fraud with husband there happy and supportive and not having a clue I had cheated him and baby not being his. And then they lifted that red, slimy, bloody, wrinkly, ugly and the world most perfect baby there and my hormones really did their thing and I was truly, deeply, madly in love for rest of my life. With easy child I knew what to expect and it was also happy pregnancy so the contrast wasn't kind that big, but still an awesome moment that too.
    -easy child getting a 'nicest person'-award voted by his classmates in first grade. And many similar that have followed
    -difficult child actually graduating High School after all the grief school was
    -difficult child's first pro league game ever after all the awful trouble he was in half a year before
    -easy child's first junior national team game in big tournament and how happy he was
    -A moment about four-five years ago at our boat. It was early fall, windy day, evening, we were sailing. difficult child and easy child on their rain clothes and rubber boots, almost white sun burn hair and freckled faces telling about the summer spent outdoors. difficult child middle of his worst puberty (he was late) and easy child having his first puberty mood swings (he was much earlier) but for once working together with sailing thingies (sorry, my sailing vocabulary in English is almost non-existing and I'm too lazy to look it up) nicely and in good and calm mood. Both having the first signs of crossing from boyhood to manhood on them. And sea was so beautiful that evening, sundown perfect and that reddish light on their faces. Just a perfect moment.

    If thinking specifically saddest
    -difficult child's seventh birthday. He so wanted to have a birthday party with other kids like all his classmates (he was almost never invited but kids talked about birthday parties a lot at school) and we invited everyone in his class and few team mates from his sports because difficult child didn't have any especially close friends. We have put a lot of effort to have party kids would enjoy, because we knew that with difficult child's social skills those kinds of parties where kids just come over to play and then have soda and cake in some point wouldn't work. Invitations were with RSVP, but only few responded and told they were not coming for reason or another. There were about 15 kids who had not responded and we expected most of them to come. No one did. We were able to salve a smallest piece of that catastrophe by calling relatives and our friends to come, when we understood no one would really come, but difficult child's sadness over it and our understanding that that was how it would be with difficult child also in future certainly kept me and husband awake few nights afterwards

    Not necessarily saddest but most scary and devastating:
    -A night at hospital when difficult child was a baby and fallen ill and doctors told us they can not promise us he would survive a night
    -Those few times difficult child was missing and feared to be dead. He was missing often, but there were few times when things looked very grim. Like the one they were drag searching a river, because difficult child's coat was found there and his backpack from the bank and someone think they heard something dropping to river.
    -difficult child getting caught from stealing from friends, whole mess coming into a light, having to let difficult child out of home while very little faith of him being able to make it
    -A call this winter from difficult child's GM asking if we could come and telling what they had found out. Going and seeing how absolutely devastated difficult child was. Going back few days later to find that difficult child was totally spent. No spark of fight left in him. Not looking at anyone, not talking at all, looking like dead inside. That awful fear that this now may be that final thing he can not get back to his feet again.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im not gonna say my happiest days were having the boys because I can hardly even remember those days to be honest. I mean they were good days but all of them came with some form of difficulties attached to them. I wouldnt change the fact that they are here though.

    I loved being a sports mom with Jamie and Cory when they were in elementary school. They just enjoyed it so much. Tony and I coached Cory's touch football team and he caught the most perfect touchdown. It is one of his best memories of his childhood. He was 7. I loved watching all 3 of the boys heading off through the fields to go fishing in a pond together or just out to play in the old barns on the property we were renting. They could play outside all day without me worrying about them.

    I think one of my absolutely proudest moment was when Jamie graduated Parris Island Boot Camp. The entire family was there including my father. It was exactly 60 years to the month from the time that my father had graduated from Parris Island too to enter the Marines. There wasnt a dry eye among us. The ceremony was wonderful. When they dismissed the new Marines from the parade grounds Cory jumped the rope before we could even stand up and with tears running down his face he ran straight to his brother and hugged him so tight. Before Jamie left they had been almost mortal enemies...lol. When Jamie walked over to where my family was standing the first thing that happened was my father looked up at his grandson and saluted him. Jamie's training officer saw that and came over and asked my dad if he had been in the Marines and when my dad said yes, they called over several other Marines and they all made a fuss over my Dad as a WWII Marine and saluted him. It was so amazing.

    Of course Im very proud right now of Cory.
  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Life is full of all those happiest and saddest moments, isn't it? Ugh, choosing which to write about, well, hmmmm....

    Happiest moments would include the times when my girls were tiny and we would pack lunches and go to the park or to feed the ducks at the pond. Taking them to our beach in search of cool rocks and seashells. Baking cookies with them. Seeing the look of wonder on their faces the first time we made homemade playdough. Our bedtime ritual of baths and reading books together while snuggling on my bed when they were little. Listening to difficult child teach easy child how to spell a word (difficult child is younger). Lying on the grass and watching clouds go by together and lying on the grass and watching the stars at night. Camping trips. Graduation days. Teaching them to drive. Celebrating birthdays, first periods, and first jobs. difficult child telling me that she understands how difficult it is to be a step parent now and that she thinks H was a really good dad after all, hahhaaa.

    Saddest/worst: The day we found out that difficult child was lured and kidnapped by a cretin on the Internet and sexually assaulted at 15. That was the all time worst experience as a parent. The aftermath felt worse at times as well. But here we are, okay. Hmmm, the time easy child perpetuated a school rumor about the assistant principal...god that was horrible. Spending time in the ER with difficult child for either allergic reactions of suicidal thoughts. easy child going away to college...I know it was a good thing, but I struggled with her absence. easy child rolling her car into a ravine early one morning on her way to work at the bakery. My heart was in my throat the entire time. Like a scene from a bad Lifetime movie, I dashed from my car and ran to her, so grateful she was in one piece. When easy child went to live at caspers parents house-that broke my heart. She was so cold and detached, I thought I'd lost her forever.
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    When husband and I came back from our one-night honeymoon and Onyxx had made a multiple-page banner that read: "Welcome home MOM and DAD".
    When Jett asked me if I'd be his "extra" Mommy.
    When husband and the kids gave mne a heart-shaped locket with pictures of the two of them in it, for Mothers' Day 2006.
    When the doctor held up this wet, squirmy baby girl for me to see and she locked eyes with me. I couldn't hold her right away because they had to sew me back together but I listened, then when they handed her to husband I watched her watch him.
    Seeing my "bbgrl" hold my baby girl with my little boy snuggled up to the two of them when Meggie was only hours old.
    Every time I see my son and my youngest daughter playing.

    When Jett got tubes in his ears and I wasn't allowed to see him in the hospital.
    When bio would not let the kids visit husband and I.
    When I sat and cried because I did not know what to do to help Onyxx. Not long after I found this board.
    When Onyxx attacked me. When Onyxx ran and ended up in Residential Treatment Center (RTC).
    When my kids' little sister (half, with biomom) died. When my kids' biomom herself died.
    When I realized that, no matter what we do, Onyxx hasn't matured enough yet to understand even a small bit of how much we love her. (Approximately the same time she moved out.)
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    OMG. How could I have forgotten, in happiest moments, the day we met two year old Sonic. He was in foster care and we knocked on the door and the foster mom opened it. Sonic looked up at us with huge brown eyes and lifted his arms and I picked him up. Also, Sonic's graduation was very happy, since we had been told he'd be no more than a vegetable.

    Every time anyone tells me they "Love" Sonic, which is many people, I remember his dire prognosis so each time is another happy moment.

    Bad moment: When a psychologist told me, in front of Sonic, "There is nothing we can do about THESE (emphasis his) kids!" I guess he thought Sonic couldn't understand, but he could.
  15. Dixies_fire

    Dixies_fire Member

    The birthday thing suzir. Totally identify... Tk's birthday is 22nd dec and boyo is the 21st. I bust my butt to make sure they have separate days. Tk wants a big birthday party but being close to Christmas no one is ever around for it because its smack in the middle of block leave and also she has never been invited to a birthday party that wasn't mine or ex's friend first. It's very sad and I still don't know what if anything to do about it because I do not want her to be sitting by herself on her birthday.
  16. greenrene

    greenrene Member

    My older son was born on Mother's Day 2003. Having had a difficult child mother myself whom I never had a bond with, and also fighting a losing battle with raising difficult child, I was terrified of becoming a mother. All that faded as soon as I held him for the first time. He's the best Mother's Day gift I could ever get, a gift that keeps on giving because he's SUCH a great kid, so sweet, smart, and wonderful - I get compliments on him from other parents ALL the time. My saddest/scariest day was a morning when easy child 2 was under age 2. That morning, difficult child had had a HORRIBLE morning, screaming that she was going to kill all of us (among other things). I wasn't about to take her to school all wound up like that. After having time to calm down, I was having a "come to Jesus" talk with her, and I was so focused on her that easy child 2 managed to escape through the doggie door, toddle down our driveway, and get partway down the street. My neighbor's landscaper dude saw him, fortunately, and nothing bad happened. But that day was probably the worst day of my life. I still tear up about it.