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<blockquote data-quote="ANewLife4Me" data-source="post: 764570" data-attributes="member: 32799"><p>Most times we put too much on ourselves concerning our adult children. We are either enablers and or co-dependants to them. We do so out of immense love, caring, fear of what will happen to them if we don’t “fix” the situation at hand. We must first break free of our own cycle and give ourselves a break from the stress and worry, nothing we have done has ever worked…..it’s an endless cycle of our adult children using us at every opportunity. My daughter once told me, “if you’re going to offer money or help I am going to take it”. </p><p></p><p>This is from Setting Boundaries with our Adult Children, steps we should be putting into practice to help break free and find the joy again in our own lives. You got this, I know you can do it. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="❤️" title="Red heart :heart:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/2764.png" data-shortname=":heart:" /> Start small, baby steps friends. </p><p></p><p>1. Stop repeating negative enabling behavior in all its forms</p><p></p><p>2. Stop ignoring my own personal issues</p><p></p><p>3. Stop being alone in our pain</p><p></p><p>4. Stop the flow of money—now</p><p></p><p>5. Stop pretending things are going to be fine if I continue as I have been</p><p></p><p>6. Stop putting off the changes that must be made</p><p></p><p>7. Stop my own destructive patterns and behaviors</p><p></p><p>8. Stop feeling guilty</p><p></p><p>9. Stop demanding that my adult child change</p><p></p><p>10. Stop making excuses for his or her negative behaviors and/or choices</p><p></p><p>11. Stop engaging in arguments, debates, or negotiations—no verbal volleyball</p><p></p><p>12. Stop being a martyr</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ANewLife4Me, post: 764570, member: 32799"] Most times we put too much on ourselves concerning our adult children. We are either enablers and or co-dependants to them. We do so out of immense love, caring, fear of what will happen to them if we don’t “fix” the situation at hand. We must first break free of our own cycle and give ourselves a break from the stress and worry, nothing we have done has ever worked…..it’s an endless cycle of our adult children using us at every opportunity. My daughter once told me, “if you’re going to offer money or help I am going to take it”. This is from Setting Boundaries with our Adult Children, steps we should be putting into practice to help break free and find the joy again in our own lives. You got this, I know you can do it. ❤️ Start small, baby steps friends. 1. Stop repeating negative enabling behavior in all its forms 2. Stop ignoring my own personal issues 3. Stop being alone in our pain 4. Stop the flow of money—now 5. Stop pretending things are going to be fine if I continue as I have been 6. Stop putting off the changes that must be made 7. Stop my own destructive patterns and behaviors 8. Stop feeling guilty 9. Stop demanding that my adult child change 10. Stop making excuses for his or her negative behaviors and/or choices 11. Stop engaging in arguments, debates, or negotiations—no verbal volleyball 12. Stop being a martyr [/QUOTE]
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