Take the Boundaries Quiz

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

  2. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    Thanks Tanya. I got kind of in the middle, a 14. If I had taken it a few yeats ago I'm sure I would have gotten a really low score. I was such a wimp back then!
     
  3. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    @in a daze , I like to take them periodically for a tune up. It helps me to see if there are areas I need to work on.
     
  4. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    I got a 15. Probably would have gotten higher but some of the answers were BS. If my friend is telling jokes that could get them in trouble, I'd shut them down right then and there. And if they were insulting me in public I'd get snarky right back!
     
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  5. in a daze

    in a daze Well-Known Member

    You only got one point higher than me? You?

    Maybe I need to retake it. Maybe I wasn't honest enough in my responses.
     
  6. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    No need to retake it. There were at least 5 questions that didn't have a response I would give.
     
  7. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    I found it bit odd. I got 13 but found many questions bizarre and answer options lacking.

    Apparently, according the test, you may not have much manners or diplomatic skills or common sense if you have 'good boundaries.' Nor are you supposed to take responsibility of things that affect you or others that some power above you has not given precisely to you.

    For example, if my workmate is in trouble with deadline and can't make it, at worst case next day me, my other workmates and our employer is in big trouble. In fact we could in some cases even end up legally responsible. Of course depends from the matter and how final deadline it is but if it is important 'drawing boundaries' would certainly not cut it as explanation.

    And many other questions were about social situations were someone is behaving some mildly iirritating way. Apparently 'drawing boundaries' is synonym of being totally tactless.
     
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  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm with the others-- a decent score now, but if I had taken the quiz 20 ys ago, I would have flunked. :)
     
  9. Lioness

    Lioness Lioness

    Omg Tanya! I got 5 Theres no hope for me. It was so accurate I am cringing with shame! I have a great deal of work to do. Thanks
     
  10. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    @Billy63 , don't be too hard on yourself. The important thing is that each one of recognizes areas that we need to improve on. I still have areas that I work on.
    I always loved the saying "Never stop learning":p
     
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    I got a 19, but so many of the situations were ones I wouldn't have been in in the first place because I wouldn't be associating with people who did that sort of thing.

    Certainly, a stray child who jumped in my lap would've been placed back on the floor long before s/he had the chance to start climbing all over me, and his/her parents would have been asked to maintain control of their child.
     
  12. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Interesting. I got a 16. I agree that some of the questions didn't have answers I'd pick - the one that jumped out at me was the one about an overweight person choosing a hamburger. It's none of my business what they eat, so none of the answers fit at all. There was also one about declining to help out .. every answer about declining to help mentioned feeling bad about it. I'm way over that in my "old age" -- I wouldn't feel bad at all about saying no if I didn't have time!
     
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  13. SuZir

    SuZir Well-Known Member

    Yes, that hamburger question really got to me too. If it is not my underage child, or maybe, just maybe, my husband of over 20 years, it is not my business what others eat. And even then, in the question it seemed like a 'special occasion' so healthy eating rules would not really be that appropriate.

    My personal least favourite was the question about messy guests. First, I would not like anyone but family members cleaning in my house. Too intimate to my taste. So i tried to answer to question from the point of view that I would like them to offer to help, but they do not. And still, if I invite guests, I both prepare to the visit and clean up after it. If I don't want to do that, I will invite the guests to restaurant or café or other similar place instead of my home. I couldn't find it in me to ask my guests to either cook nor clean for themselves. And my grandmother would certainly whirl like a windmill in her grave if she heard the idea (and she is the one who taught me some manners.) And can you imagine how restless and uncomfortable that would be for everyone else buried to that graveyard?

    Only exception would be longer term quests who are treated like family members during their stay.
     
  14. RebeccaJ

    RebeccaJ New Member

    Oh for lords sake , I got a whopping 7 :(
    well this is why I signed up on this site today, so you all can kick me in gear LOL
     
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  15. Jabberwockey

    Jabberwockey Well-Known Member

    LOL!
     
  16. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I couldn't relate to the answers of most of the questions. The baby bouncing on my lap, for example. I would have probably been surprised and friendly to the parents, as I do like kids, but asked, in a nice way if they could remove the child.

    Too manyy people think having boundaries mean you have to be rude. Also t he work question was more a "depends." I mean, how long will it take? A half hour? A day? A week?

    Agree I'd never tell anybody what to eat. That's not my circus, not my monkey.

    I think it's a bad quiz.
     
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  17. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    I got a twelve, but since some of the questions had no choice that I really wanted to choose, I am not sure if my score is accurate or not.

    First of all, I would never criticize another adult's meal choice, including my SO/spouse. Their was no answer for that. Their choice is not my business and doesn't concern me in the least. This question makes it seem that it should.

    As for the child on the lap thing, I'm assuming it was meant to be either my own child or the child of the person I am dining with, not a stranger. Poorly worded.

    The weekend guest question--I sure don't expect guests to clean up my house, and I think most people pick up after themselves. I always make sure my child & her friends pick up when they are done playing with something, but if the kids had stuff out and the parents had to leave before everything got put up, no big deal.

    Probably the quiz is accurate-I'm kinda middle of the road--not a door mat, but not 100% perfect on boundaries either.
     
  18. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    I'm a little embarrassed by my 9. But I agree with hubby, a lot of those questions don't really apply to me. If someone tells an offensive joke, I speak up right there. If Jabber stopped doing housework, well, I'd do it eventually, but I think he knows it would pile up because we're both pretty sloppy.

    I do admit my boundaries are probably a hardly made of stone.
     
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