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taking a back seat!
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 102291" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Kathy 813 is right.</p><p></p><p>Teen Challenge will not work solely with the parent of a child over 18. What they will do though, is encourage a visit and present the troubled person with opportunities for the potential to change.</p><p></p><p>Our son refused even that.</p><p></p><p>Your son may agree.</p><p></p><p>So it's worth a shot.</p><p></p><p>I felt the same way, Stands ~ was I missing something that might set off the change we hoped to see?</p><p></p><p>Some little something that, in retrospect, I would just kick myself for missing?</p><p></p><p>What I did to cope with those feelings was to keep a notebook of actions I had taken, phone calls I had made, information I had or wanted to learn about. In the notebook (it was one of those kinds with the clear plastic coating you can put pictures or whatever under). Anyway. I put things I found strengthening or uplifting to me under that plastic cover.</p><p></p><p>Pictures ~ one of them was of a woman breathing in the sunshine.</p><p></p><p>I don't remember the other things I put under there.</p><p></p><p>Quotes.</p><p></p><p>Lots of quotes on lined index cards.</p><p></p><p>That way, however hopeless it seemed, I understood that it might not be hopeless.</p><p></p><p>I felt organized.</p><p></p><p>Whatever the outcome, I knew where I had been, why I had made this or that choice, and what I had not tried.</p><p></p><p>Desperate and controlling mom that I am, I could often see a new way to present the same information.</p><p></p><p>It seems crazy to me now, but I needed something then to track through the pain and the chaos.</p><p></p><p>And it was all in one place.</p><p></p><p>All the phone numbers, all the potential solutions ~ everything.</p><p></p><p>Right alongside the good, positive, strengthening things I had found and put under that clear plastic cover.</p><p></p><p>I had a paper record of what I had done, and of where I was running into a blank wall. This enabled me to make a clearer choice about what I would try again, and why or why not.</p><p></p><p>I no longer need to do that.</p><p></p><p>But it helped me so much in those times when everything was so out of control and everyone had a suggestion and I was so afraid I would miss the thing ~ whatever magical thing it was ~ that would change things back to the way they were.</p><p></p><p>************************</p><p></p><p>I think they want family members to write letters mostly to indicate to the sentencing authority that the person has family support.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 102291, member: 3353"] Kathy 813 is right. Teen Challenge will not work solely with the parent of a child over 18. What they will do though, is encourage a visit and present the troubled person with opportunities for the potential to change. Our son refused even that. Your son may agree. So it's worth a shot. I felt the same way, Stands ~ was I missing something that might set off the change we hoped to see? Some little something that, in retrospect, I would just kick myself for missing? What I did to cope with those feelings was to keep a notebook of actions I had taken, phone calls I had made, information I had or wanted to learn about. In the notebook (it was one of those kinds with the clear plastic coating you can put pictures or whatever under). Anyway. I put things I found strengthening or uplifting to me under that plastic cover. Pictures ~ one of them was of a woman breathing in the sunshine. I don't remember the other things I put under there. Quotes. Lots of quotes on lined index cards. That way, however hopeless it seemed, I understood that it might not be hopeless. I felt organized. Whatever the outcome, I knew where I had been, why I had made this or that choice, and what I had not tried. Desperate and controlling mom that I am, I could often see a new way to present the same information. It seems crazy to me now, but I needed something then to track through the pain and the chaos. And it was all in one place. All the phone numbers, all the potential solutions ~ everything. Right alongside the good, positive, strengthening things I had found and put under that clear plastic cover. I had a paper record of what I had done, and of where I was running into a blank wall. This enabled me to make a clearer choice about what I would try again, and why or why not. I no longer need to do that. But it helped me so much in those times when everything was so out of control and everyone had a suggestion and I was so afraid I would miss the thing ~ whatever magical thing it was ~ that would change things back to the way they were. ************************ I think they want family members to write letters mostly to indicate to the sentencing authority that the person has family support. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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