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Parent Emeritus
taking a back seat!
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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 102712" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>Stands, you asked why I no longer needed to use the notebook. Mostly because difficult child has not overwhelmed me lately.</p><p></p><p>I am very sure that if he showed up here needing help, I would be back on this Board without a clue in about fifteen minutes.</p><p></p><p>So, even though I would like to say I am stronger now (and even though that is true)?</p><p></p><p>The reason I don't need the notebook is because difficult child has turned down the heat.</p><p></p><p>Plain and simple as that.</p><p></p><p>It's easy for those of us not in the thick of it to forget how truly devastating these times with our troubled children (adults or not) are.</p><p></p><p>There is no substitute for managing our own interpretation of events. It is the troubled child who is in trouble, here.</p><p></p><p>Not the parent.</p><p></p><p>The primary reason the troubled child needs his mother again is because he got caught.</p><p></p><p>But before he got caught, the difficult child continued to engage in wrong behaviors even after you told him not to. </p><p></p><p>So, because the difficult children continue to do the same thing again and again, WE have to take control of our part of the situation from our end.</p><p></p><p>It's really hard, Stands.</p><p></p><p>But you can do it.</p><p></p><p>And really, it's the only chance your difficult child has.</p><p></p><p>At least, it's the only chance he has from within your sphere of influence.</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 102712, member: 3353"] Stands, you asked why I no longer needed to use the notebook. Mostly because difficult child has not overwhelmed me lately. I am very sure that if he showed up here needing help, I would be back on this Board without a clue in about fifteen minutes. So, even though I would like to say I am stronger now (and even though that is true)? The reason I don't need the notebook is because difficult child has turned down the heat. Plain and simple as that. It's easy for those of us not in the thick of it to forget how truly devastating these times with our troubled children (adults or not) are. There is no substitute for managing our own interpretation of events. It is the troubled child who is in trouble, here. Not the parent. The primary reason the troubled child needs his mother again is because he got caught. But before he got caught, the difficult child continued to engage in wrong behaviors even after you told him not to. So, because the difficult children continue to do the same thing again and again, WE have to take control of our part of the situation from our end. It's really hard, Stands. But you can do it. And really, it's the only chance your difficult child has. At least, it's the only chance he has from within your sphere of influence. Barbara [/QUOTE]
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