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Taking it from the top: what is the problem?
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<blockquote data-quote="Ropefree" data-source="post: 222234" data-attributes="member: 6271"><p>Thanks Marguretie...</p><p>I did read your posts and the first session with the conseling after the police bit, when he was in shock really, because as he said later "how did this all happen?"</p><p>part of the plan was chores. He spent two weeks in a row and has a couple since doing his part. or part of his part.</p><p>But the deafening silence between us is not budging.</p><p>Although I apreciate the part about getting the independant skills so you do not come back...my mother started telling me I can not wait til you leave home when I was nine and she was just beginning her riguerous journey down bipolar road with the psycotic episodes. I would not burden a youth with </p><p>such sentiments.</p><p>I am pursuing the intensive home therapy as I am thinking that having the input of others who are caring and listen and will draw out the matters so that it is not at the point of devisiveness where all the dialogue is,if any.</p><p>We have never had the 'go to your room'senerio as we have always been in one room until this house and here there are differant rooms which we retreat into and just paralellel live. It is not enough.</p><p>One clear statement he did make was when he had stayed out all night and when I saw him the next day he was sorry and had done his chores really well. He also said then as he went over what had happened and so forth that he would not have been able to talk about it if he had not taken his medications.</p><p>Part of this is the difficulty for him when he is not undder the effects of the medications. Which is most of the time when we are together. ANd it is when he is out in the world with his freinds, now.</p><p>The other part, I think, is just having motivation to talk. Which for him he will not talk about things sometimes until months later. I can not get anything out of him but :leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you.</p><p>On the bright side he did call today and he did come home for curfew yesterday. He called when he left the event he went to and said he was going to watch a movie.</p><p></p><p>Befor he left I did (nag,pester, prod, poke) by saying "You will do your chores tomorow" and he said."maybe, I guess."</p><p></p><p>I think when he had all those people over he was not altogether happy about it either. He has said he was glade I did it because he hadn't wanted them here to the therapist.</p><p></p><p>His pediatrician said it is emancipation disorder.</p><p></p><p>What I want is to take the steps that are going to see him along in the best way possible and I will not set by while he is caught in the quagmire of the youths who are no going to get very far.</p><p></p><p>I will contiue to seek input from those who are successful with adhd and </p><p>youths and younge adults because I believe that giving up is giving up.</p><p>I am not going to do that. I am not going to yell, belittle, deminish, insult intentionally or push my teen ager on the street. I am going to redirect,</p><p>direct, and praise when he does take the right steps and I am going to make it unforgetable when he makes the wrong one.</p><p></p><p>My voice might not work. The writing on the board might not work. The therapy may take forever. I may be creating a disturbance in the middle of the night from time to time ("it must be after curfew I hear my moms autoalarm outside")</p><p></p><p>Success is made. That is where I am as a parent. I had the one. One day</p><p>he is going to be looking back on this and think...hmmm, that mother of mine she knew how to be there for her kid.</p><p></p><p>I am falling apart.My family was terrible in the teen years. I do not know how to go through the college thing, the economy is junk, the government is in debt until whenever, I have this one person on this earth who I have an obligation to propel warts and all into the future. I may drop tears ahead, I may have one brick wall to get over under around through but if it can be done,look, watch I will. And my son will have that degree, that education. Not every mind is as able to take in so much. My son has this trait, this ability and it sets him apart...his cognitive ability, his fast pace learning ability, and he is vunerable..he is a heartful tender guy.</p><p></p><p>WE are suppose to look into strattera.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ropefree, post: 222234, member: 6271"] Thanks Marguretie... I did read your posts and the first session with the conseling after the police bit, when he was in shock really, because as he said later "how did this all happen?" part of the plan was chores. He spent two weeks in a row and has a couple since doing his part. or part of his part. But the deafening silence between us is not budging. Although I apreciate the part about getting the independant skills so you do not come back...my mother started telling me I can not wait til you leave home when I was nine and she was just beginning her riguerous journey down bipolar road with the psycotic episodes. I would not burden a youth with such sentiments. I am pursuing the intensive home therapy as I am thinking that having the input of others who are caring and listen and will draw out the matters so that it is not at the point of devisiveness where all the dialogue is,if any. We have never had the 'go to your room'senerio as we have always been in one room until this house and here there are differant rooms which we retreat into and just paralellel live. It is not enough. One clear statement he did make was when he had stayed out all night and when I saw him the next day he was sorry and had done his chores really well. He also said then as he went over what had happened and so forth that he would not have been able to talk about it if he had not taken his medications. Part of this is the difficulty for him when he is not undder the effects of the medications. Which is most of the time when we are together. ANd it is when he is out in the world with his freinds, now. The other part, I think, is just having motivation to talk. Which for him he will not talk about things sometimes until months later. I can not get anything out of him but :leave me alone, I don't want to talk to you. On the bright side he did call today and he did come home for curfew yesterday. He called when he left the event he went to and said he was going to watch a movie. Befor he left I did (nag,pester, prod, poke) by saying "You will do your chores tomorow" and he said."maybe, I guess." I think when he had all those people over he was not altogether happy about it either. He has said he was glade I did it because he hadn't wanted them here to the therapist. His pediatrician said it is emancipation disorder. What I want is to take the steps that are going to see him along in the best way possible and I will not set by while he is caught in the quagmire of the youths who are no going to get very far. I will contiue to seek input from those who are successful with adhd and youths and younge adults because I believe that giving up is giving up. I am not going to do that. I am not going to yell, belittle, deminish, insult intentionally or push my teen ager on the street. I am going to redirect, direct, and praise when he does take the right steps and I am going to make it unforgetable when he makes the wrong one. My voice might not work. The writing on the board might not work. The therapy may take forever. I may be creating a disturbance in the middle of the night from time to time ("it must be after curfew I hear my moms autoalarm outside") Success is made. That is where I am as a parent. I had the one. One day he is going to be looking back on this and think...hmmm, that mother of mine she knew how to be there for her kid. I am falling apart.My family was terrible in the teen years. I do not know how to go through the college thing, the economy is junk, the government is in debt until whenever, I have this one person on this earth who I have an obligation to propel warts and all into the future. I may drop tears ahead, I may have one brick wall to get over under around through but if it can be done,look, watch I will. And my son will have that degree, that education. Not every mind is as able to take in so much. My son has this trait, this ability and it sets him apart...his cognitive ability, his fast pace learning ability, and he is vunerable..he is a heartful tender guy. WE are suppose to look into strattera. [/QUOTE]
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