Yesterday afternoon I was ready to throw in the towel on kt; she'd only been home 2 days & had thrown mini meltdowns (more tantrums) & had come out the other end with an apology. I'm very proud of ktbug & the skills she's learned. However, I find myself in "panic" mode when her defiance, tantrum, etc start up - I want to automatically reach for the phone & call crisis team or 911. husband is keeping me grounded. I didn't realize what an impact all of those crisis team visits & 911 calls had on me. This isn't kt - it's me. kt is doing very well (again, in kt terms). I, on the other hand, cannot relax yet. I don't trust the "new" skills she's learned. I've planned, have a boatload of services here & I cannot trust the situation. Irrational or not, I'm terrified of every little kt outburst. More than anything, I miss my Mom - she kept me so grounded throughout all this stuff. Okay - done with the whine, I'll pass the cheese for any who'd like to join in. Thanks for listening.