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Talk of peer pregnancy - It's sooooo cool, mom
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 33189" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>Hmmmmm. Linda, maybe I can give you a bit of hope here.</p><p></p><p>I also came from an abusive background. (not as profound as kt) And all I ever wanted to do was to be a mother asap. I fantacized about getting pregnant as early as 12. If my Mom had actually been paying attention, it should have scared the life out of her.</p><p></p><p>Luckily my aunt and grandma were paying attention. I didn't get lectured from either. They just creatively found ways to help me see that I needed to be "grown up" before bringing a baby into the world.I recall aunt and grandma praising me for wanting to be a good mother, but they would always add in the practical responsibilities to that role such as financial stability, good home, dependable job, ect. And my older sis stepped in and had me watching neices and nephews with her from birth on up. The sitting for neices and nephews helped curb the baby craving and gave me needed experience for future use.</p><p></p><p>I wanted a baby to feel that unconditional love between mother and child I didn't get myself. I craved it. I also had a profound need to Prove I could be the loving devoted parent my own mother wasn't. (I didn't "share" the sins of my mother)</p><p></p><p>My maternal instinct was in super overdrive.</p><p></p><p>I made it to 18 still a virgin. This is because I didn't want to have sex til I was able to actually Be that responsible, loving parent. I was afraid I'd get pregnant before I was prepared. At 19 I met husband, we married, and I gave birth to easy child 11 months later.</p><p></p><p>So maybe with some patient positive feedback and guidance kt can be shown that being a good parent also includes practical responsibility as well as being willing to give love and affection.</p><p></p><p>Once my girls were teens I began to appreciate how much I must have terrified my aunt and grandma.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps kt could "help out" at the church nursery or something along those lines?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 33189, member: 84"] Hmmmmm. Linda, maybe I can give you a bit of hope here. I also came from an abusive background. (not as profound as kt) And all I ever wanted to do was to be a mother asap. I fantacized about getting pregnant as early as 12. If my Mom had actually been paying attention, it should have scared the life out of her. Luckily my aunt and grandma were paying attention. I didn't get lectured from either. They just creatively found ways to help me see that I needed to be "grown up" before bringing a baby into the world.I recall aunt and grandma praising me for wanting to be a good mother, but they would always add in the practical responsibilities to that role such as financial stability, good home, dependable job, ect. And my older sis stepped in and had me watching neices and nephews with her from birth on up. The sitting for neices and nephews helped curb the baby craving and gave me needed experience for future use. I wanted a baby to feel that unconditional love between mother and child I didn't get myself. I craved it. I also had a profound need to Prove I could be the loving devoted parent my own mother wasn't. (I didn't "share" the sins of my mother) My maternal instinct was in super overdrive. I made it to 18 still a virgin. This is because I didn't want to have sex til I was able to actually Be that responsible, loving parent. I was afraid I'd get pregnant before I was prepared. At 19 I met husband, we married, and I gave birth to easy child 11 months later. So maybe with some patient positive feedback and guidance kt can be shown that being a good parent also includes practical responsibility as well as being willing to give love and affection. Once my girls were teens I began to appreciate how much I must have terrified my aunt and grandma. Perhaps kt could "help out" at the church nursery or something along those lines? [/QUOTE]
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