Talked to boss today

witzend

Well-Known Member
I'm with the others in so far as polishing up and quietly recirculating the resume. My other piece of advice would be to stay out of his head. You're going to need every bit of strength to move yourself forward in this situation. The fault is with him, and you can't change that. Keep yourself calm, cool and collected so that you can be the best prospective future employee out there. Also, you can't be absolutely certain how this will pan out, so keep your chin up and don't let the "others" (that's not the word I'm looking for) get you down! :thumbsup:
 

klmno

Active Member
Thanks Ladies! He was fine with me today and since I'm just getting to know him and his style, I'm trying to leave one leg in it but still keep prospects open- I think that's what most are sugggesting and I agree. I would love for it to work for a while (longer than three months) but ultimately, I want it to be a stepping stone to getting a permanent job with the real client. I've been trying for that for over a year and this is a step in the right direction. Three months won't give me enough time though, I don't think. We'll see- it sure makes me have faith though that I was within days of being homeless and I got this job. I'll keep doing what I can to help myself and be a decent person and a good mother and maybe this won't go backwards.
 

trinityroyal

Well-Known Member
K, it sounds like you are feeling more comfortable with the situation.

You've already received great advice from others, so I'll just step in with one comment from personal experience, related to Witz's suggestion to stay out of his head.

I have always found that, with HR, Policy, Difficult Bosses, etc. it's always best to stay just under the water line. In other words, don't do anything to attract a lot of attention to yourself. Figure out the corporate culture -- which policies are firm and which have a bit of wiggle room, what sort of behaviour is expected / appreciated / tolerated / unacceptable, what are the expected channels of communication -- through your boss, through HR or personnel, hallway conversations, etc. Especially while you're the "new kid", do a good job, but try not to obviously outshine insecure co-workers (your boss may also fall into this category), don't reveal a lot of personal details (especially about any health concerns, difficult child issues and the like that might mark you as "difficult"), and try to keep out of office politics. Once you all know each other a bit better you'll have a better sense as to what's safe vs. dangerous for your particular workplace.

I can hear such a positive note in your words. It's nice to see after the difficult times you've been going through.

Trinity
 

klmno

Active Member
Thanks for all the advice- everyone! I'm home for the weekend now.

As far as talking about personal business at work- I agree however for some reason 95% of the places I've worked just simply don't let that happen. And most seem to take it as rudeness or hiding something if you don't answer their questions or steer away from it too much. I steered away from one today though after my boss came back from answering his phone- he had been asking about difficult child. When he came back I asked him a question- I think I asked how long he'd been living in this area- in order to change the subject politely.

Then another guy joined in and started talking about some personal stuff about my boss. After he went to lunch, my boss wanted me to know the guy was jokingly exaggerating (I had figured that) but tried to clarify by telling me even more personal stuff about himself. LOL!

As far as the tremors- I used to try to hide it but previous employers and co-workers would think it was all from anxiety or that I was just an emotional basketcase. I much prefer for them to know the truth than be treated that way. Anxiety/stress make it worse, but it's not the same thing. On the inside I don't think I get any more nervous than the typical person would/does in the same situation. It just makes my tremors worse so it gets interpreted differently. This way, when I'm perfectly calm but still show a little tremor, at least they know that doesn't mean anything emotional or anxiety related.

But you have good points, Trinity, and since I don't know the coworker other than the few days right at first, I will be cordial to her too and try not to make it look like we're in competition. Actually we have two completely different job descriptions so I'm hoping that won't be a problem.

I think this boss has already seen for himself that there was no more to it than what I told him. He sat beside me and gave me some training today. We've chatted some more- not about the job position exactly- but I'm pretty sure he realizes that I'm working as normal as anyone. I just have minor tremors in my hands sometimes. And I think he's over his panic about it. He knows I'm coming in early for work (about 10-15 mins- nothing extreme) and trying to learn, being cordial to everyone, etc.

I do think some of this might be the coworker who wanted to "test" me and she has been gone for work all week but will be back Monday. I think it has been a good thing that my boss, the client/rep that works right in our area with us, and I have had this time this week without her here, just in case she is a jealous or insecure coworker who wants to make sure she keeps her status but does so by sabatoging others. I've had time to work alone with them around, work with them each individually, and chat with both of them at the same time. All three of our comfort levels have greatly improved this week, I think. The coworker is younger, gossips with other clients/reps there, etc, so I wouldn't be shocked if my boss's reaction last week might have had something to do with whatever choice of words she used.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
I think the first 90 days on any new job is excruciating- even if you are happy. My sense of direction is "off." the smells/sounds are different, getting oriented to the tone of the office is a challenge, trying to figure out who holds the "power" with the peers, getting a grip on the new boss' quirks and demands, let alone learning the dang job they want done.

The job I have now is incredibly stressful.....or dead. There isn't an inbetween. And the fact that there isn't an inbetween is stressful! I'd interviewed for one job here and was hired for another (higher level and more money, fortunately) but that first year was an almost unbearable experience. Since I hadn't interviewed for the job I accepted I didn't know the job description other than what my to-be-boss briefly described over the phone. Boy, was that misleading! I was constantly being blindsided that first year with things I'd never heard before, both good and bad.

I had to force myself to relax and not panic. And I mean FORCE MYSELF. I'm so glad I did. This month marks 4 years there. I was laid off from the job before this one and as much as this job makes me nuts at times, I am so grateful to have a job. I count my blessings every day and repeat it often to anyone I hear grumbling at work to remind them that in this economy we are all lucky to have a job.

I am glad to hear that you are starting to relax. There is little in the future that we have any control over but we can control how we face the challenges and our attitudes towards them. Enjoy your weekend. You've earned it.

Hugs,
Suz
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
Klmmo, mog points out some interesting things. Sounds like your boss may be a bit flaky. Keep your eyes open.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
I had a friend who worked under contract for a business who had a contract with a branch of the military. He was an IT guy and worked for a nationwide IT company who bid on the contract for this branch of the military. Am I making myself clear? Well...after about 2 years this nationwide IT company lost their contract because they were under bid. He was frantic because he thought he was going to have to move and that was going to be a chore. The nationwide company did offer to find him another job somewhere else in the US but they couldnt promise where or at what level or at what pay. Yikes! And he had bought a house where he was living.

Well...turns out the new IT company that won the bid heard good things about some of the people who were currently employed by the old IT company and they offered for them to stay on at same salary but the benefits were actually better! I think my friend also ended up going up a level so he made more money too.

So...moral of the story....you just never know how these contract deals will work out in the end. The companies may go but sometimes its the workers who actually make out okay!
 

klmno

Active Member
What mog described is the worst possible scenario; what Janet describes is the best- unless the client decided to hire me direcdtly at some point. :)

It's hard to be prepared for both these outcomes at the same time but that's pretty much what I'm going to have to do for a while at least. I can spend the time learning as much as possible which just helps the possibilities, either way it turns out. I keep reminding myself that while this isn't a very secure situation right now, it beats the heck out of flying out the door to meet someone off cra****ist for a job interview only days before being officially homeless.

So, it could be worse!
 
M

ML

Guest
You know I'm getting one of my "hunches" here that something good will come out of this mess. I keep hearing the phrase "it's easier to find a job when you have a job" running through my brain. I agree with Suz, circulate your resume privately.

I know these past months have been some of the most challenging and difficult of your life. But I'm so amazed and proud of how you're hanging in there and even though it feels like one step back for every two forward, you're *still* moving forward.

Hugs, Love and Prayers always. Even when I'm not consitent with supporting my friends and family here you are never far from my thoughts and always in my prayers.
 
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