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The Watercooler
Talked to husband last night. Ideas? Thoughts? Am I expecting too much?
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 418746" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>I've seen an awful lot of scenarios about why your husband is the way he is; I've seen lots of suggestions for changing him; I don't think any of those things are important. The question is: Are you willing to continue on this way? You have no ability to change another person. You only have the ability to change yourself. 23 years of marriage taught me one thing: I am responsible for myself and I am responsible for my feelings. If I don't like the way someone is behaving or treating me I have two choices: either accept it or change the way I am behaving. I tried begging, pleading, crying, yelling, ignoring, overlooking, pretending to not care, and in my life nothing changed. husband still didn't fix what needed to be fixed. His solution to every problem: the grass being cut, plumbing being fixed, the pool being cleaned, etc... was to throw money (usually mine) at the problem. When I changed what I was and was not willing to accept; when I begin to work on me; then I was able to move beyond the resentment and find peace...now, for me it meant leaving the marriage, and I'm not advocating that as a choice, but I am saying you need to work on YOU! You won't change husband. And you won't talk him into changing himself. That choice has to come from somewhere within himself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 418746, member: 1436"] I've seen an awful lot of scenarios about why your husband is the way he is; I've seen lots of suggestions for changing him; I don't think any of those things are important. The question is: Are you willing to continue on this way? You have no ability to change another person. You only have the ability to change yourself. 23 years of marriage taught me one thing: I am responsible for myself and I am responsible for my feelings. If I don't like the way someone is behaving or treating me I have two choices: either accept it or change the way I am behaving. I tried begging, pleading, crying, yelling, ignoring, overlooking, pretending to not care, and in my life nothing changed. husband still didn't fix what needed to be fixed. His solution to every problem: the grass being cut, plumbing being fixed, the pool being cleaned, etc... was to throw money (usually mine) at the problem. When I changed what I was and was not willing to accept; when I begin to work on me; then I was able to move beyond the resentment and find peace...now, for me it meant leaving the marriage, and I'm not advocating that as a choice, but I am saying you need to work on YOU! You won't change husband. And you won't talk him into changing himself. That choice has to come from somewhere within himself. [/QUOTE]
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Talked to husband last night. Ideas? Thoughts? Am I expecting too much?
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