Talked to the principal regarding suspension

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by zachieandameliasmom, Dec 10, 2008.

  1. zachieandameliasmom

    zachieandameliasmom New Member

    He told me that difficult child was hitting/kicking the portable classroom at one point in the day yesterday. Then he was sent to the resource room. Then in there he was yelling and being disruptive so she sent him to the office. When it was lunch time he was sent to the cafeteria. Then he proceeded to throw his fork and fruit cup across the room. After that he got on top of a table and started humping. UGHHH He said everyone was very upset that saw it. Esp the girls in the cafeteria. So, that's why he suspended him until Tue. UGHHH Said since we talked on the phone I don't have to come in for the meeting on Tue and could just send him to school.

    I can't believe he did that. What would make him do that?? OMG I just don't know what to do anymore. I have a call in with-his psychiatrist office. Waiting on the nurse to call me back. He's booked until January of course. It's hard to get an appointment. difficult child already has one for Dec 30th. Put him on the cancellation list. So, maybe can get him in sooner. Not sure what the doctor will do for us though. I have called other places trying to get an appointment for a 2nd opinion. Running into roadblocks all along the way. Most don't take new patients. Called the mental health agency in our city and she informed me to call a different number since I had insurance. Called there and was told my insuarance wouldn't cover them. Our plan has a special rider that covers at the place we currently go. UGHHH I don't have the money to pay out of pocket. but, yet if we didn't have insurance at all we could've been seen at the other clinic. I don't get it!! How can I get help for my child???????? I'm so lost.

    Oh and to add to my day. The bus driver talked to me when I was out there with-easy child. She said she's been having trouble with-difficult child on the bus. She said he curses all the time and won't stay in his seat. She has moved him and it doesn't do any good. So guess he won't be on the bus anymore. UGHH Don't want him to be suspend again. He's already been suspended off the bus once this year.

    The puppy chewed the power cord to our new Christmas tree this morning too. So now it won't light up. I have figured out a way to hook up 2 extension cords to make it work though. So at least it will light up. Just not like it was originally. UGHHHH

    I've cried off and on all morning long. I hate my life right now.... Thanks for listening to me whine.
  2. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Lisa, I apologize if I should know this from previous posts you have made, but does he have an IEP in place?
  3. zachieandameliasmom

    zachieandameliasmom New Member

    Yes, he has an IEP. He is listed as emotionally disturbed. God I hate that label. They followed the behavior plan I guess. It states consequences as check mark in general ed class, then resource room, then office, then suspension at administrations discretion. ???

    The principal is no help to us. He pretty much just doles out the punishment and that is it. No help is offered to us. And I'm trying so hard to get that help, but can't seem to get it. UGHH They look to me for advice on how to handle him at school. At his IEP meeting last month the Special Education teacher told me she had a behavior specialist coming there trying to figure out a better behavior mod plan to put in place. They just can't figure out the trigger of his outburtsts. It's so random as to what sets his anger off. So who knows. They have sent an application in for him to go to some day school at the mental health place. Haven't heard anything back though.
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2008
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So you are aware of the limited number of days a child with an IEP can be suspended?

    The school needs to step up their interventions. Your difficult child after humping up on the table at lunch is going to have some problems with other kids, I would imagine. That is not something that is easily forgotten. Perhaps he should not be in the Gen Ed class? I don't know. I feel bad for him, because the school is not helping and if he continues to act out he will never have anyone at school that will be friendly with him.
    Not any good influences anyway.

    I think you should call the school districts Special Education rep. Your son needs more help from them. Have you talked about his IEP on the Special Education 101 forum here on the site?
  5. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sounds like the school did have a consequence plan in place, what about a reward system as part of his BIP? I know that when my son was your difficult child's age, he had a way of being encouraged and rewarded for making "good choices". It was a good plan for my son because he enjoyed feeding the class fish, picking out a small treat at the end of the day, handing out papers for the teacher or filling the other student's "in" boxes. Another reward was he could go to the library and choose a book and the asst princ would read it to him in her office. There were incentives to strive for.

    Additionally, my son attended therapy with his therapist on a regular basis. His psychiatrist was basically just for medications. The therapist worked with him to recognize the signs of building frustration. It took awhile. Fortunately, his third grade teacher could look at his face and "see it coming"! Tactile things like a piece of velcro attached to his desk that he could rub when he was feeling frustrated helped; also he carried a stress ball around in his pocket that he could squeeze. He carried, and still to this day (7th grade) carries, pictures of the dogs to look at to help him calm.

    Once he was able to identify how it felt, physically, when the anger and frustration were building, he was allowed to ask to go to a "safe place". A place in the school where he felt comfortable and safe, where no one made any demands on him or asked him questions. He chose the nurses office and the principal's office. Many a day he spent 15 to 30 minutes chilling. It really helped.

    The issue with the humping the table is a little disconcerning. It could be a really impulsive adhd thing, or it could be a sign of something else. How long has he been on the zoloft? I don't see a diagnosis of depression or anything else in addition to the adhd. What was the reasoning for him being on that medication?

    I'm thinking that what happened the other day, the attempt to destroy property, the throwing where someone could have been hurt, the sexual acting out all warrant an emergency psychiatrist visit. I would demand that. I would also ask for further diagnostic testing. Perhaps your son's psychiatrist can recommend a nueropdoc.

    You also mentioned that the school/principal(?) made an application for your son to attend "some day school at a mental health place". Do you know anything about this? Did you approve the application? That constitutes a change of placement which they cannot do without a meeting with you. Have you visited this day program to see what it is about?

    This is your son we are talking about here and the school has no right to make educational or placement decisions without your consult and approval. What is his official diagnosis in regards to his IEP? What testing did he go through in order to qualify? I ask you that because there are programs and classes that he may qualify for in the current school system if his classification is emotional in some way. Even a special bus picking him up with an aide on it for kids with behavior issues is an option.

    Sorry I've given you so many words here - I just don't want you, and especially your son, to be railroaded by the school or his psychiatrist.

    Another idea, do you have a local children's hospital or teaching university in your town or nearby? They are usually good options for testing and such for our difficult children.

  6. zachieandameliasmom

    zachieandameliasmom New Member

    There is a reward system in place also. Not sure if they follow through with-that or not. I ask difficult child but he says I don't know. I hate those 3 words with-all my being! Not sure if he doesn't really remember or just doesn't want to talk. He's not able to communicate his feelings very well.

    He has been tested through the school system twice since first grade. Last time was summer before 4th grade(in 5th now). He has ADHD listed as his diagnosis. They labelled him emotionally disturbed in order to qualify for special services.

    As far as the zoloft. He was put on that hmmm last spring I think. He was depressed for sure. He wouldn't leave the house, didn't play with-friends do anything really. Was mega irritable etc. He improved once it kicked in.

    He was just switched last month to the vyvanse. He was on adderall xr. So, not sure if he's reacting to the vyvanse or what. I have noticed it takes longer to kick in compared to the adderall xr. He has trouble going to sleep on it too. He always has trouble, but it's worse on the vyvanse in my opinion.

    As far as the day school. I did approve for them to apply. I just want him to get some sort of help. I haven't looked at the school though. He has to be approved by them first. And I haven't heard a word from them. It's been a month. Like I said they only have a limited number of spots(don't remember exactly. it's under 20 though). So even if he was approved it could be next year before a spot comes open.

    Just made an appointment for a therapist at the group we go to. Of course first available appointment was Jan 15th. Not sure what we're to do in the interim.

    Thanks for your post.
  7. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    If there is an IEP and the medication monitoring is part of that, it should be, then call THAT psyciatrist back...under that persons treatment THESE are the behavors happening.
    I got a call when my boy had said loudly said "scrotum" in class to great offense to the teacher. The male conselor called informing me about the offensive language issue. I asked,'what did he say'...just the one word.
    And I said "at least he didn't say salty nut sack"
    Look that age group can be really tough on self esteem. Plus acting up gets a lot of attention. I know it seems really bad, but the image of the charactor who was humping the apple pie and all sorts of other saucey stuff is part of the media. It isn't like he had no outside inspirations.(unless, are you one of the households today that has a stripper pole in the livingroom?) When a person is being ridiculed the motivations to avoid negative attentions is blown to bits.
    I would call back the office where your son has been treated and tell the receptionist/clerk the patient needs to see doctor asap due to behavor crisiss.
    You tell the receptionist/clerk that doctor is treating your child and this matter requires professional evaluation and treating as the behavor change is extremely disruptive.
    Not only that but the emotional quantrdy your child is in is normal for the age group and with a lower impulsivity the outward is an expression of the pressure he is feeling, I think.
    SAme time I would do some more investigating into the events surrounding the
    episode. Definately go to the meeting. Take a tape recording devise and ask for the details.
    Checks on a board are a manner of centering negative attention on a person.
    The tactic is to engage awareness to the learner. When it is having a side impact like giving the student body as a group a target for social recriminations the reason the negative/punishment style of teaching creates failures is illustrated. Possitive attention and possitive enforsement is how the child brings a good feeling into doing what is required. Getting down to the learners eye level, giving direction and when the learner can not focus having a redirect plan.
    Like...rather than pursuing a long sit with a sqirmy uncooperative adhd and placing checks by his name and calling out his name all day long everyday to the point that the whole class feels comfortable critically directing a student.
    Teacher can quietly call on the learner to go to run and errand..take this to the main office...even if it is just a empty envelope. TEacher can plan to have active things that she/he has the adhd learner doing through out a day so that the learner is moving around under direction and not under a constant veil of critism. Breaking up his day. Which is a skill that will serve someone with a short focus span through out life. Doing, doing something else, returning, doing something else, doing to the point of completions.
    At that age the priciple, at my suggestion, started a running group at recess as the endorphen surge is very good for adhd learners.
    Some wise schools have doors from classrooms onto the outdoor field and have the whole class go out and romp and walk through out a day to keep the focus fresh.
    My adhd worked best in a corral type desk or alone in a room. For work times the learning aid of limited distractions can be a window for the brilliance in your child to filter onto paper so others can see it.
    A theme for an adhd IEP team is JQ may always dominate a room:Our job is to give his proformance content.
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Are you convinced your son is ADHD/ODD? Because if he, say, maybe has a mood disorder, the medications he is on could make it much harder for him to control himself. Zoloft alone can make it hard, but with a stimulant you have two stimulating medications in his system.
    I wouldn't allow the school district to label my son Emotionally Disturbed. That has connotations of "bad" child. My son, who is on the autism spectrum, is labeled "Other Health Impaired." I like that label better. I wish they'd get rid of that "Emotionally Disturbed" label. It is so inaccurate and the poor kid is marked at school :<
  9. Wishing

    Wishing New Member

    My son was helped by a combination of concerta and resperidol. Anti-psychotics are used as a mood stabilizer and the ritalin preparations help with the focus. Can you drive him to school or have have someone pick him up. I would not let my son use the bus. A lot of kids get rowdy and there is teasing and it alone can be a source of trouble. I did not want any negativity at the end of the day. And it is one more transition. Ask the dr. to order a mood stabilizer as he sounds like he gets wound up.
  10. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member


    rewards, punishments , suspensions are not going to teach your child the lacking skills which are underlying his maladaptive behavior. Check the book ' Lost at school' by Ross Greene , the author of the explosive child - the collaborative problem solving approach
    see Amazon customer reviews - there is a good summary/review there

  11. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I must also add that I love the book "Lost at School" by Ross Greene. It's a great read for parents and would make a great gift for your difficult child's teacher, case worker, etc.!!!

  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Does school staff talk to him during each warning to try to figure out what is going on or is it just, "Step 1 NOW!" "Step 2 NOW" "Step 3 NOW" "You are OUT"

    I would think the behaviour will continue to get worse if the school staff doesn't use the initial action as a teaching opportunity. Did anyone ask him why he was hitting/kicking and explain to him that was not the appropriate behavior? Or did he automatically get sent to the next level? Did staff there try to communicate or did he automatically get sent to the next level?

    I think that often times bad behaviour is a cry for help. Something is not right and the child does not know how to ask for help.
  13. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I have to set the record straight about the Emotionally Disturbed (ED) label. While it's certainly not something I want my son to have -- and he doesn't even know his IEP is coded that way -- the fact of the matter is it is the most accurate IEP classification for him to have. And the classification got him placed in an ED self-contained program for emotionally fragile high schoolers. He, in fact, has an "emotional disturubance," and that has nothing to do with being a "bad" kid.
  14. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I certainly understand why it's so frustrating. How long has he been on the vyvanse and zoloft combo? I think that 70 mg of vyvanse seems to be a a high dosage. Was he ever on a lower dosage? My 11 year old takes 20 mg of vyvanse and I take 50 vyvanse....and sometimes 50 mg makes my head spin. Also zoloft made my son disinhibited....i

    Have you had any luck getring in touch with your doctor? Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day