Well, as I am working my way through the Basic Guide to Your Challenging Child, I have got to the (fundamental) chapter on tantrums... And what, if anything, to do about them. I still seem to have the idea lurking in my mind that they should somehow be banished and that my son should "grow out of them"... I have been waiting a long time for that to happen and it doesn't. Mostly they are kind of intense crying episodes but sometimes, as tonight, they are more like full-blown rages. I went to pick him up from the activity centre (this is school holiday time here but as I have work he goes to a centre with lots of children, where they have fun outings, activities, etc). Outside there is a skateboard park (if that's the right name for it) where he likes to run up and down the skateboard ramps... Anyway, usually I am flexible about how long he stays but tonight I wanted to get back to make supper - after the usual warning that we are going in five minutes, then one minute, I start walking towards the car and J starts crying and getting distressed, saying he wants to play. Sorry, I understand, but we are going... This is not really CPS, it's just me imagining I can be like an ordinary parent with an ordinary child and... J starts exploding with pain and rage when I put him in the car seat to go (yes, after trying to discuss with him and get him in by other means), really over the top and for the next five or ten minutes he is shouting "You are NAUGHTY Mummy", "You are NOT NICE Mummy", "You SMELL Mummy"... as well as being angry he is also really, really distressed, tears streaming down his cheeks. I just let him cry - what else can be done? He is also very tired, which adds to the intensity of it all. Then, 10 minutes later, it is all forgotten, he is happy again, it's all in the past - ie it has ceased to exist... only I feel perplexed and battle-worn. What, if anything, is there to say about tantrums...? Do we just have to live with them? Do I take it that these challenging children do NOT grow out of them?? Is there any light at the end of the tunnel ?