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Teacher here -- can you help me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Mamaof5" data-source="post: 381270"><p>I admire your desire to understand, absolutely respect it. The bold sentence in your OP though - it's not that he wants to, it's because he can't help it. It's an impulse control issue, it's the way he's wired neurologically, it is who he is. No child inherently *wants* to be bad or defiant or a bully. Children like your student desire to please us adults, they really do...they just don't know how regardless of how many times we tell them how.</p><p></p><p>As for choices that you give him - (the sit here or there) sometimes even choices are too overwhelming for children like him. From what you describe it sounds like he's over stimulated by the environment (I'm not a professional so take this all with a grain of salt and based on personal experiences) perhaps even what I call "sensoried out" too much for him so he lashes out and mainly at you and the peer beside him who is at a reaching distance from him.</p><p></p><p>Sounds like he's having a hard time focusing on structured tasks and the defiance of the authoritative figure (you) is his way of expressing that. Granted, it is not an acceptable set of behaviors, I do agree the disruption of the class is not conducive to anyone in the classroom.</p><p></p><p>My oldest is ADHD\Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)\ODD - he is very much like your student. We've coped by setting less expectations on him and have a system of red card\green card with the teacher - red card for unacceptable behaviors, three means a consequence or set of them agreed upon between parent and teacher and green card means he's doing well for the day, 5 days of green card at the end of the day brings about a privilege agreed upon between parent and teacher or a set of them.</p><p></p><p>My son is a very visual child, he learns by hands on and visual cues rather than verbal cues. The teacher also provides a safe zone for my son where he is allowed to remove himself to (his school councillor's office), he does not need to say anything other than I need space or something similar and he is allowed to go to the councillor's office without consequences. His IEP\BIP is not very specific yet but we're working on changing that asap. In fact, have an IPRC meeting for that this week (Thursday) to correct that issue. His IEP already increases his time frames for in class work, as in he is given exceptionally more time to finish a task (he does not transition well from activity to activity) and he is given a 10 minute, 5 minute and 2 minute warning before tasks are changed in the classroom (say from Math to History as a subject matter within the class or Home Room to Gym or Assembly).</p><p></p><p>I hope that helps some, again I absolutely respect and admire you for coming here and asking for help in understanding. That shows me that you are a brilliant teacher and a caring one. I know it's not easy on any side of the situation for either parents, the child or the teacher and staff. It's very difficult and overwhelming but we all want the same thing - for our kids to live to the best of their potential and to strive and achieve success both academically and personally. We really are all on the same side, honest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mamaof5, post: 381270"] I admire your desire to understand, absolutely respect it. The bold sentence in your OP though - it's not that he wants to, it's because he can't help it. It's an impulse control issue, it's the way he's wired neurologically, it is who he is. No child inherently *wants* to be bad or defiant or a bully. Children like your student desire to please us adults, they really do...they just don't know how regardless of how many times we tell them how. As for choices that you give him - (the sit here or there) sometimes even choices are too overwhelming for children like him. From what you describe it sounds like he's over stimulated by the environment (I'm not a professional so take this all with a grain of salt and based on personal experiences) perhaps even what I call "sensoried out" too much for him so he lashes out and mainly at you and the peer beside him who is at a reaching distance from him. Sounds like he's having a hard time focusing on structured tasks and the defiance of the authoritative figure (you) is his way of expressing that. Granted, it is not an acceptable set of behaviors, I do agree the disruption of the class is not conducive to anyone in the classroom. My oldest is ADHD\Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)\ODD - he is very much like your student. We've coped by setting less expectations on him and have a system of red card\green card with the teacher - red card for unacceptable behaviors, three means a consequence or set of them agreed upon between parent and teacher and green card means he's doing well for the day, 5 days of green card at the end of the day brings about a privilege agreed upon between parent and teacher or a set of them. My son is a very visual child, he learns by hands on and visual cues rather than verbal cues. The teacher also provides a safe zone for my son where he is allowed to remove himself to (his school councillor's office), he does not need to say anything other than I need space or something similar and he is allowed to go to the councillor's office without consequences. His IEP\BIP is not very specific yet but we're working on changing that asap. In fact, have an IPRC meeting for that this week (Thursday) to correct that issue. His IEP already increases his time frames for in class work, as in he is given exceptionally more time to finish a task (he does not transition well from activity to activity) and he is given a 10 minute, 5 minute and 2 minute warning before tasks are changed in the classroom (say from Math to History as a subject matter within the class or Home Room to Gym or Assembly). I hope that helps some, again I absolutely respect and admire you for coming here and asking for help in understanding. That shows me that you are a brilliant teacher and a caring one. I know it's not easy on any side of the situation for either parents, the child or the teacher and staff. It's very difficult and overwhelming but we all want the same thing - for our kids to live to the best of their potential and to strive and achieve success both academically and personally. We really are all on the same side, honest. [/QUOTE]
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