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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 468814" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am glad the teacher is sneaky. She needs to be to help Evan. I am thinking some truly ugly things about Katie right now. there is no excuse for all she has refused to do for her children. While M may be a lot of things, at least he does what he can for them in regard to feeding them, etc.....</p><p></p><p>All of this makes me wonder if maybe M doesn't keep a job because he is afraid that the kids will go hungry or something really bad will happen. I am NOT a fan of his, and I hold him as responsible as her mostly, but given M's mental problems he may not be able to teach the kids the basics like the alphabet or whatever. He could try more, sure. I just have begun to think that maybe the crazy stories about why he lost a job are his excuses to Katie, made because he is afraid to leave the kids with her?</p><p></p><p>Why don't you go up to the school one day and ask the teacher to listen as you explain what is going on when evan is at home? You don't need katie's permission to speak to the teacher, they need it to speak to you. They can still listen and it might be helpful. Put NOTHING on paper, don't write the teacher a letter, etc.... Just a private chat with teh teacher, and warn the teacher that if she tells katie about it, katie might run or take it out on evan. </p><p></p><p>"After the program I hugged him and told him I loved him. He kept telling me he loved me over and over in that desperate thing he does that unsettles me. in my opinion I've not hugely bonded with him, so I'm not sure why he's doing it. "</p><p></p><p>This inappropriate display of love is often a sign of an abused child. Or at least it is listed in every book about abuse that I have seen. It can also be a sign of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or inappropriate or insecure bonding with a parent/primary caregiver. </p><p></p><p>It is unsettling because it is so intense and given to people he doesn't know or doesn't know deeply and well.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that you have to know your grands are being mistreated this way, and that tehy have to endure it!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 468814, member: 1233"] I am glad the teacher is sneaky. She needs to be to help Evan. I am thinking some truly ugly things about Katie right now. there is no excuse for all she has refused to do for her children. While M may be a lot of things, at least he does what he can for them in regard to feeding them, etc..... All of this makes me wonder if maybe M doesn't keep a job because he is afraid that the kids will go hungry or something really bad will happen. I am NOT a fan of his, and I hold him as responsible as her mostly, but given M's mental problems he may not be able to teach the kids the basics like the alphabet or whatever. He could try more, sure. I just have begun to think that maybe the crazy stories about why he lost a job are his excuses to Katie, made because he is afraid to leave the kids with her? Why don't you go up to the school one day and ask the teacher to listen as you explain what is going on when evan is at home? You don't need katie's permission to speak to the teacher, they need it to speak to you. They can still listen and it might be helpful. Put NOTHING on paper, don't write the teacher a letter, etc.... Just a private chat with teh teacher, and warn the teacher that if she tells katie about it, katie might run or take it out on evan. "After the program I hugged him and told him I loved him. He kept telling me he loved me over and over in that desperate thing he does that unsettles me. in my opinion I've not hugely bonded with him, so I'm not sure why he's doing it. " This inappropriate display of love is often a sign of an abused child. Or at least it is listed in every book about abuse that I have seen. It can also be a sign of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or inappropriate or insecure bonding with a parent/primary caregiver. It is unsettling because it is so intense and given to people he doesn't know or doesn't know deeply and well. I am sorry that you have to know your grands are being mistreated this way, and that tehy have to endure it! [/QUOTE]
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