Teacher thank you when you don't feel thankful, you feel angry
- Thread starter whatamess
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keista
New Member
I don't do end of year gifts. This year I did have pang of guilt about that because DD1's teacher was AWESOME, but I've got more important things to deal with, and I'm broke this time of year. I always give token gifts before the Holidays (lately it's gift cards) and have the kids write/sign a quick note - even if I HATE the teacher. But every year is different.
If the teacher was that horrible, I would not spend another second worrying about it, and just don't do it.
Depending on your personality, school situation, community ramifications, etc, I would consider writing a "thank you" in appreciation of her making a bad situation worse. Even if you tear it up, it might make you feel better.
If the teacher was that horrible, I would not spend another second worrying about it, and just don't do it.
Depending on your personality, school situation, community ramifications, etc, I would consider writing a "thank you" in appreciation of her making a bad situation worse. Even if you tear it up, it might make you feel better.
If you don't feel thankful than a card and gift are not necessary. How many people give year end thank-yous/gifts? I would say not many so your not giving one will not even be noticed.
I believe I have only given one thank you note to a teacher at the end of the year. I had always been involved in watching kids so the teachers could go out to lunch for Teacher Appreciation. I also provided a poster board for each class to decorate on that day as a thank you and the PTL would pitch in a gift (plant or something) from all parents.
The note I gave was actually a letter to difficult child's 5th grade teacher. That was our year of nightmares. I truely do not think we could have come through it without her support. I thanked her for her belief in both difficult child and myself and for her patience and kindness. I also think the fact that my kids grew up in that school so she really did know that difficult child's behavior that year was not who he was or wanted to be helped A LOT. If we had someone who did not know us, that person may have been hard on us thinking that it was a behavior problem based on poor parenting. She knew better!
I believe I have only given one thank you note to a teacher at the end of the year. I had always been involved in watching kids so the teachers could go out to lunch for Teacher Appreciation. I also provided a poster board for each class to decorate on that day as a thank you and the PTL would pitch in a gift (plant or something) from all parents.
The note I gave was actually a letter to difficult child's 5th grade teacher. That was our year of nightmares. I truely do not think we could have come through it without her support. I thanked her for her belief in both difficult child and myself and for her patience and kindness. I also think the fact that my kids grew up in that school so she really did know that difficult child's behavior that year was not who he was or wanted to be helped A LOT. If we had someone who did not know us, that person may have been hard on us thinking that it was a behavior problem based on poor parenting. She knew better!
Gifts are totally optional. It is perfectly find to not give one to his teacher even if you are to the other teachers. Some years Wiz REFUSED to give gifts to his teachers because how they treated him. We had one who had a parent confront me over why I did not give her a gift for the holidays, end of the year or teacher appreciation week. This parent was very active in getting this teacher to strongly dislike me and take it out on Wiz, and she was told that if I were to give her anything it would be to have her served with papers suing her for driving my 7yo second grader to suicide attempts. She shut up VERY fast and went away from me as fast as she could. She only came up because the teacher pointed to me and told her to go ask where her gift was (within my hearing and that of several of my friends!).
You do not now or ever owe anyone a gift. Esp a teacher.
You do not now or ever owe anyone a gift. Esp a teacher.
Running_for_the_shelter
New Member
I seriously doubt this person expects a thank you gift or note from you. Why even think about wasting your money?
My son had a teacher who I suspect was instrumental in getting him expelled and I would cut off my right hand before thanking her for anything. [In fact, I fantasized for months about walking away while she lay freezing in the snow. "I'm going to give you exactly as much help as you gave my son -- none! -- and you're lucky I don't kick you." Yeah, I'm not a nice person.] So, to answer the question, no, I wouldn't feel badly about not giving a gift or note. Perhaps she should be grateful you didn't drag in legal people and make their lives hard.
My son had a teacher who I suspect was instrumental in getting him expelled and I would cut off my right hand before thanking her for anything. [In fact, I fantasized for months about walking away while she lay freezing in the snow. "I'm going to give you exactly as much help as you gave my son -- none! -- and you're lucky I don't kick you." Yeah, I'm not a nice person.] So, to answer the question, no, I wouldn't feel badly about not giving a gift or note. Perhaps she should be grateful you didn't drag in legal people and make their lives hard.
DDD
Well-Known Member
I agree with everyone else. There really is no need....unless, perhaps, that teacher will be your childs teacher next year too. Ugh, I've been there done that. DDD
by the way, IF you're going to have to deal with her again in the future send a card that is generic and doesn't include the words thank you. Something like a card that says have a good summer ??
by the way, IF you're going to have to deal with her again in the future send a card that is generic and doesn't include the words thank you. Something like a card that says have a good summer ??
exhausted
Active Member
I would never give a card or gift to anyone I did not have respect or whom I did not want to thank. As a teacher I don't expect it and actually if one of my kids , that I knew were not fond of me, gave me a gift, I would know it was not sincere.
I won't participate in those silly secret Santa things at Christmas because often you end up having to give to someone you otherwise would not. I give gifts to people who I want to give gifts to.
Don't feel bad or guilty-she did not help you child!
I won't participate in those silly secret Santa things at Christmas because often you end up having to give to someone you otherwise would not. I give gifts to people who I want to give gifts to.
Don't feel bad or guilty-she did not help you child!
Marguerite
Active Member
A young friend of mine posted on FB (not about me!), "If you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I'd drink it."
Hold that thought.
Marg
Hold that thought.
Marg
shellyd67
Active Member
I feel as though difficult child's teacher was a lazy, good for nothing who missed so much time throughout the year and was NEVER caught up on anything. I am not the only parent who has a kid in his class that feels this way.
He has done nothing for difficult child and I will give him nothing.
easy child teacher will get something small and a nice card from easy child.
He has done nothing for difficult child and I will give him nothing.
easy child teacher will get something small and a nice card from easy child.
Marguerite
Active Member
It is important to forgive, because then YOU can move on and not let the past and other people drag you down. But forgiving does not mean forgetting, or saying it was okay to have happened.
Or as an alleged old Arab saying goes: "Forgive the man that steals your livestock, but lock up your camels."
Marg
Or as an alleged old Arab saying goes: "Forgive the man that steals your livestock, but lock up your camels."
Marg
