Tears for my easy child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by PonyGirl, Nov 16, 2007.

  1. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    easy child came home crying last night. After the 1st week of Basketball Practice, the Team Rosters were posted. easy child didn't make the Varsity cut. A goal he's had since last year. He was so hurt and disappointed, my heart just breaks for him! :bloodshot:

    easy child works so hard, went to Open Gym every night in the off-season, really pushes himself to do well. This is a whole different pain than what I used to feel for difficult child.

    I know easy child will make the best of it. The upside is he'll get lots of playing time on the JV team. It's just so hard to watch him strive for something, and then get let down. We cried together last night, and then we had chocolate malts!

    Just asking all to send good thoughts our way. The poor kid is hurting, and my mommy heart is so sad for him.

  2. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    Awww. so disappointing. So sorry for him.
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    It is such a diffent kind of pain we feel for our easy child's when they are dissapointed, because we know how hard they truly work for things that have meaning to them. difficult child's usually fail because they don't try and don't care, but easy child's are different.

    Sorry he is feeling this pain and dissapointment. He doesn't deserve it.
  4. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I'm sorry, PG- that really stinks.

    I hope he impresses the heck out of the coach this year so he can play varsity next year.

  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I think the pain that goes with rejection from a coach or a team
    is hugely painful for a teen. As you remember, Pony, my easy child/difficult child
    was a natural. He worked hard but he just naturally had the coordination, speed, quickness of feet, full game understanding
    etc. A friend of mine had a son who tried out for every single
    team and put all of his effort into it. Time and time again he
    would be eliminated during tryouts. I admired his tenacity and
    think it will help him as an adult. on the other hand, my easy child/difficult child made all the
    teams and became so associated with his sports prowess that one
    evil coach was able to derail his whole sense of self and send him off to the addiction world. That was the last time I ever
    saw him cry.

    Your easy child will be in my thoughts and prayers with sincere caring.
    I do think, however, that "maybe" by feeling the pain and then moving on for the next life experience he will mature from it.
    Even the hardworking difficult children often just can't take the pain and the
    embarrassment and they set themselves up for AA/Na membership where they are surrounded by others who blunted the pain. Hugs.
  6. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Thanks everyone for your kindness. Suz, he will play Varsity next year, it's automatic for all Seniors. easy child said to me last night, "Mom, I really wanted to get on this year, to know that I really earned it."
    Dang! I'm just devastated for him!

  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Loving hugs for easy child and for your mommy heart.
  8. I'm going crazy!!!

    I'm going crazy!!! New Member

    hey maybe he can ask the coach why he didn't get put on varsity maybe there's a really good reason like he needed him on the jv team really bad you just won't know until you ask
  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    So sorry for easy child and you. I know how he feels.
  10. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Aw, Pony!

    DDD was right.

    This will make easy child stronger.

    He sounds like a really sweet kid.

  11. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    easy child is a really sweet kid! Both the JV & the Varsity coaches sat down and talked with him yesterday. They both told him they wanted to get him more playing time, and he just wouldn't get that if he went to Varsity. They told him they need him to be a Leader, and he's showing them that already, and how hard he worked at practice yesterday after finding out his spot, they were really impressed with that.
    The volunteer coach also sat & talked with easy child. Volunteer Coach told him about when he was in school, and a similar situation with 2 friends, 1 who made Varsity, 1 who stayed on JV; how the JV kid was hugely improved over the Varsity kid the following year because the Varsity kid hadn't played, didn't keep working, just rode the bench, while the JV'er kept pushing himself and worked his butt off.

    easy child knows all this, and he'll be okay with it, he's just in the middle of the disappointment and he's hurting. I know all this, too. It's just breaking my heart!!

  12. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Sorry that some of the best "growing" experiences hurt, but looks like easy child will get the benefit of playing more often and could then have a stellar year next year.....more than likely there is a senior who will be playing this year because easy child is on JV.....His time will come! It was great that the coaches took the time to talk with him.....
  13. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Sorry he didn't reach his goal this year, hope he's able to get past it soon.

    From the sounds of it he'll probably actually be happier playing jv once he gets over this disappointment. Though it's nice to make the team, it :censored2: big time to then sit the bench and seldom get to play. On the jv team he'll get lots of play time, improve even more, get some notice for his skills and really put on a show next year when he's on the varsity team and getting play time.
  14. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    Poor sweetie, give him a big hug for me (((HUGS)))

    This happened to difficult child with hockey, he was devastated but accepted what he was given. To be honest with you what your easy child's coach said is the absolute truth. difficult child is the best player on the team and the other boys respect him a lot. He has shown amazing leadership and when tryouts come next year, I have no doubt he will be the best with all that he has gained this year. The ones that made the higher team are struggling and not feeling so great.

    For every door that closes another one definately opens. Tell him to go and show himself off, be the best.

  15. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST! :angel: :warrior: :angel: