Teen peeing in glasses

susiestar

Roll With It
Several things on this thread caught my attention.

First of all, we ALL yell now and then. Living with our Difficult Child's is really hard, far more than parents of regular kids have any idea. It is only human to lose it and yell now and again. Don't beat yourself up for this. You are doing the best you can and that is all you can do.

Second, even if a disease is driving a behavior, there is still personal choice involved. Your son is not compelled to pee in a glass. He let himself get to the point where he was too tired and then he chose to use the glass rather than to get to the toilet. If it were not a choice, he would be wetting himself or the bed. He can choose to stop what he is doing earlier and go to the bathroom. If video games are a factor, as in he doesn't want to stop because he is playing the game, you have several choices.

You absolutely can remove all video games. Lock them up or get them out of the house to a location he doesn't get to. It is extreme but it IS possible. It might be easier as your son has such limited activities outside of the house and won't go do things outside the house.

This is the most extreme step. I don't think you are at the point where this would be best, but only you can make the decision. Expect your son's anxiety to raise to an extreme point, and for him to have periods of rage and outbursts against you and anyone else involved. expect irrational behavior, esp at first. For many kids, the games are their escape and coping mechanism. They don't have to face their problems while they are in the game, so they lose it completely when that is removed. been there done that and it was ugly for a week or two. Then things settled and he started enjoying things he refused to do before.

This isn't likely to be the best first step (total removal of games). I think regular, scheduled and enforced bathroom breaks are something to think about. When he is gaming, he must stop every hour and a half or 2 hours or 3 hours, and go to the bathroom. The game doesn't start until he produces. You can set an alarm to warn you both, and you may have to take the controller until he goes. This will prevent the need to urinate in a glass rather than to stop the game. He will develop a habit of getting up and going to the bathroom and that is what you want.

For just being too tired to go to the bathroom from his room, I think regular scheduled bathroom trips regardless of what he is doing is likely to be part of the answer. This trains the bladder and the body to getup and go and do your business in the bathroom. Having to get up when you don't feel an urge will be annoying to him, but that is what it is. If he didn't pee inappropriately, it would not need to happen. He also needs to be evaluated for sleep issues and other physical and psychological issues related to this.

The other thing that I think is very important is that HE is the one who cleans the glasses of pee. NO ONE else gets that privilege. If he pees somewhere else, he cleans that up too. This doesn't just mean emptying the glass, it means washing and disinfecting it also. For some kids that extra work is enough because it can be more hassle than they want. I would not let him use the dishwasher to clean the glasses after he pees in them. He should dump them in the toilet, then take them to the kitchen and rinse them, then wash them with dish soap and hot water. Then he should have to either soak them in boiling water or a solution of 1 TBSP bleach in 1 quart of water for ten minutes. After that he has to dispose of the bleach water, rinse the glass, and wash the glass and the bleach water container by hand.

Sure, that has some extra steps that might not be strictly needed, but the point is to make it a real hassle to just grab that glass and pee in it. He could spare himself the 3 or 4 minutes it would take to go to the bathroom and pee into the toilet by grabbing that glass, but it is going to cost him at least 15-20 minutes of time later to clean that one item.

I hope this helps. Please work to empower your son by letting him know that just having a disorder does not take your choices away. You still have the choice to fight and not give in to the disease or use the disease as an excuse to shrink your world and excuse inappropriate behaviors. By demanding appropriate behaviors and imposing logical consequences like cleaning the glass, you are telling him that you believe that he truly CAN control things and do things even though his disease might make them a challenge by putting obstacles in his way that he will have to overcome.
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
Has he ever had a really comprehensive evaluation? The kind that take 6-10 hours of meetings with the evaluator, who is a specialist in evaluations, typically a neuropsychologist, or a PhD psychologist?

Depression and fatigue can be symptoms of many different diagnoses.
It wouldn't hurt to add a thorough medical exam in the mix as part of a coordinated team. Blood work, physical stamina test, etc...
 

witzend

Well-Known Member
"I think regular, scheduled and enforced bathroom breaks are something to think about..."

A very good idea.
 

madamadams

New Member
Although this is a year later I have to share Im the stepmom of a 14 yr old I asked for the dishes to be done the other day Lower ones in the washer because I have a back injury and could bend to lift them to the counter . My step son helped but only half done so I had to ask again. to do silverware. This constant excuse my lang. half ass everything drives me nuts inside I don't express how maddening it is because I have to walk on egg shells when addressing anything my step kids do or don't do. Any how a few minutes later I was finishing loading the dishwasher and I smelled something awful . Earlier we were trying to pin point a horrible smell wellllllllll there was urine poured over the dishes in the sink , not any urine OLD rancid smelling urine I had a dish in my hand and dropped it were ever the urine was it splashed up onto my shirt and face Iwas mortified the smell was horrible I could hardly get a word out as I said to my husband Bleach get the bleach whispering he was confused i whispered in a shaky voice theres pee , pee on the dishes please begging for the bleach pouring it all over when he got it. I next started getting mad and asked my step son to join us in the living room . This involved all of the family and we were going to get this out now . He denied it of course I reminded him this had happened in a glass about 4 months ago which he denied . Im sorry but in my discuss and anger I said no more he ran out yelling I don't have to take this bullshit ! My husband didn't correct him using that language and from there i went to the shower ripping off the clothes scrubbing my body not able to get smell off. After a long talk from my husband with his son come to find out he had been peeing in bottle because he said he couldn't get up in the night to make it to the bathroom. Next day was easter and a had friends over who had a ten yr old who was playing and running around ( mind you I had been assured that my stepson disposed of the urine he had in his room . But any how my friend son 10 yrs old tinkled in his pants so I said oh gosh take a towel ill grab a pair of shorts from step sons room , as I di I found another full bottle my husband disposed of it quickly ! I thought for sure there is more and I went in plastic gloves and broom when he went to school . Sure enough 6 more bottles full of urine I just about died . It has become the biggest fight between my husband and myself . Ive been through too much with his kids n there stuff now this I'm not sure I can do this anymore . I had such a bad subconscious reaction I ended up in a therapist office I have shakes and cry endlessly thinking that child will pour more on our belongings MORTIFIED . His dad and mom are now in therapy with psychiatric. doctor I dunno why but I feel violated by the whole thing my therapist says yes it is a violation to have urine splashed on you and the dishes i threw away .
 

PatriotsGirl

Well-Known Member
Yup my son had done it and the bathroom is right next to his room!! Drives me nuts!!!! He said he used top do it while playing video games... :( he is 18 now and doesn't do it anymore but we did go through that phase...I guess in our lives with all that was going on with our daughter, the pee wasn't as devastating but still disgusting...
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My son does that too when he is using benzos. I just don't understand it. He has never peed on anything but will pee in an empty bottle and or a cup and will just leave it in his room. The bathroom is not far from his room either. Just across the hall. It has to be a sign of something but glad I'm not the only one that has dealt with this.
 

Nomad

Well-Known Member
Staff member
I apologize that this may not truly add to the conversation, but I am intrigued by it because of an experience we had years ago that has always bothered me. Maybe this thread will help ME find an answer. And it shows you that others have dealt with this or something similar.
We had just moved into a new home. My son was about nine. There was a boy in the neighborhood, who was about twelve. He made fast friends with our son. One day he asked my son to see what was in my son's closet. He was in there a long time. Turned out, he peed in a container in there. When he left, my son found it and was filled with weird emotion...sorry of laughing but upset too. Our son then told us that he and the boy climbed a big tree and the boy peed out of the tree. (This was a few days before the closet incident). Our son felt the boy was just being lazy and silly. I thought it was weird and asked that he reduce the amount of time he spent with the kid, as my son was making other friends from the school. To my surprise, my son did stop hanging out with him...but I think it was actually mostly because he preferred hanging out with kids at his grade level. I suppose I can say that I have heard of this before ...on this board and this incident was relatively similar. I don't recall hearing of any problems in the school with this child, but do know the family was under a lot of stress with health and financial issues.
Last I heard this boy was doing fine.
I'm glad your son is getting medical tx.
 
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GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
One thing I discovered researching medications and addiction is that this behavior is not uncommon with young, male drug users. They use the bottles because they are too high to make it to the bathroom, and/or are afraid of running into someone on the way to the bathroom and being caught being high.

My late husband used to keep a "tepple" a bucket for pee purposes in the bedroom. He sleepwalked, and very early on in our life together, got up still asleep and peed in my sock drawer!

He somehow was able to train himself to hit the bucket if he was sleepwalking and the urge hit.

He'd then empty and sanitize the bucket when he got up for good.

The drug users I was writing about do eventually dispose of the urine bottles by themselves, and do not leave them sitting around in public areas. They hide them until the hiding place fills up and then deal with them. It seems to be something they quit doing by thirty or so years of age in most cases.
 
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