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Teen-proofing?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 392302" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>If someone else is trying the CYA route, learn from their tactics and do it back. In other words, document. If your child says she will kill herself. ask her to repeat it into a tape recorder (use your mobile phone to videotape it if necessary). SHow them at the team meeting and make it clear - you DO have evidence of her threats and the cost to help her now will be far less than the cost of the bad publicity and lawsuits afterwards. They are a psychiatric hospital, they have a job and a responsibility. If they continue to actually insist that you lie about your status as an unfit parent in order to access help, go to the media. Or threaten to. But if you make the threat you have to be prepared to follow through. The angle with the media - my child is a serious risk to herself and to others (here is the evidence), the system knows this but claims to be powerless to help, unless I falsely claim myself to be an unfit parent. This is supposed to be a country with high standards of care - why is such a farce possible? </p><p></p><p>Documentation will work for you. That includes ensuring you have the hard evidence that she is a danger. CPS surely will provide access to their files, especially if you give permission (since the case was quickly declared to be unfunded, that shouldn't be a problem for you) to show that she is making wild and false allegations,adding to your load of problems. But false accusations do not equate with false threats. So if someone tries to say, "Well, she has a history of lying. She lied to CPS, therefore she's probably lying about the self-harm," the two do not go hand in hand. It's not a history of lying she has, but a history of doing her utmost to hurt other people. Calling CPS was a direct attack. If she is sent home, she has threatened more physical attack. There is no reason to doubt it.</p><p></p><p>These people are playing hard ball, but they need to be tied down. If they refuse to sign an acknowledgement of responsibilty in the event of something going wrong, then try my option (which I've used to document meetings which are deliberately non-minuted). I take my own minutes, I email them off to every person at the meeting (or I send them somewhere central and ask the copies to be forwarded) and I add at the end, "I believe my notes to be a true and accurate record of our meeting. If you do not agree, please reply within X amount of time by return email. If I do not receive any written replies to the contrary, these notes will be taken as correct."</p><p></p><p>In that note you make it clear - you have told them that you are holding them responsible if anything goes wrong with sending her home. Also make it clear that you were asked why you did not want to declare yourself an unfit parent, when such an option would make services available for you and your daughter. Be very careful to only state what was actually said, and don't put any of your own interpretation on it. </p><p></p><p>If you felt overwhelmed at this meeting and were unable to recall accurately what was said (not surprising, it is a common tactic to keep parents off balance, it stops parents getting in the way of what the 'team' wants), learn from it and next time, make notes. If that slows down the meeting, don't let them fluster you into speeding up. Take your time. Your child is too important, you can tell them, for things to be rushed and handled in a slipshod fashion.</p><p></p><p>Whatever their 'needs' to CYA, these people can be, and must be, held accountable.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 392302, member: 1991"] If someone else is trying the CYA route, learn from their tactics and do it back. In other words, document. If your child says she will kill herself. ask her to repeat it into a tape recorder (use your mobile phone to videotape it if necessary). SHow them at the team meeting and make it clear - you DO have evidence of her threats and the cost to help her now will be far less than the cost of the bad publicity and lawsuits afterwards. They are a psychiatric hospital, they have a job and a responsibility. If they continue to actually insist that you lie about your status as an unfit parent in order to access help, go to the media. Or threaten to. But if you make the threat you have to be prepared to follow through. The angle with the media - my child is a serious risk to herself and to others (here is the evidence), the system knows this but claims to be powerless to help, unless I falsely claim myself to be an unfit parent. This is supposed to be a country with high standards of care - why is such a farce possible? Documentation will work for you. That includes ensuring you have the hard evidence that she is a danger. CPS surely will provide access to their files, especially if you give permission (since the case was quickly declared to be unfunded, that shouldn't be a problem for you) to show that she is making wild and false allegations,adding to your load of problems. But false accusations do not equate with false threats. So if someone tries to say, "Well, she has a history of lying. She lied to CPS, therefore she's probably lying about the self-harm," the two do not go hand in hand. It's not a history of lying she has, but a history of doing her utmost to hurt other people. Calling CPS was a direct attack. If she is sent home, she has threatened more physical attack. There is no reason to doubt it. These people are playing hard ball, but they need to be tied down. If they refuse to sign an acknowledgement of responsibilty in the event of something going wrong, then try my option (which I've used to document meetings which are deliberately non-minuted). I take my own minutes, I email them off to every person at the meeting (or I send them somewhere central and ask the copies to be forwarded) and I add at the end, "I believe my notes to be a true and accurate record of our meeting. If you do not agree, please reply within X amount of time by return email. If I do not receive any written replies to the contrary, these notes will be taken as correct." In that note you make it clear - you have told them that you are holding them responsible if anything goes wrong with sending her home. Also make it clear that you were asked why you did not want to declare yourself an unfit parent, when such an option would make services available for you and your daughter. Be very careful to only state what was actually said, and don't put any of your own interpretation on it. If you felt overwhelmed at this meeting and were unable to recall accurately what was said (not surprising, it is a common tactic to keep parents off balance, it stops parents getting in the way of what the 'team' wants), learn from it and next time, make notes. If that slows down the meeting, don't let them fluster you into speeding up. Take your time. Your child is too important, you can tell them, for things to be rushed and handled in a slipshod fashion. Whatever their 'needs' to CYA, these people can be, and must be, held accountable. Marg [/QUOTE]
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