Your daughter is at an age where our kids, especially if they are troublesome, tend to hate us. This doesn't last forever and should not, in my opinion, effect how we set boundaries with them. When does your daughter turn eighteen?
Can you turn in the mother for having pot in her house?
At your daughter's age, closely hitting that legal age, there is probably not much you can do about her friends or her. Did you get her help or rehab? You only have until she is eighteen to do anything she doesn't like.
The friend is right though. It is not her responsibility to wake your daughter up for work. Your daughter needs to do that. She also needs to be the one to put herself to bed. This is on her, not her friend. It's about your daughter and who she chooses to hang around with. You can not control the friend and probably have little control over your daughter's choices. You do have control over YOURSELF and you can change how you react to your daughter. Like most of us here, our early reactions did not work and we made changes. Detachment is a big issue with most of us. We try not to get caught up in our grown or almost grown children's drama. You are straddling that fine line between her being a minor and her being a legal adult...
Since your daughter dropped out of school, if she were my kid, she'd need to learn to be responsible or expect to leave the house at age eighteen. I feel it is on your daughter's shoulders to get to work on time. There are alarm clocks...
Is there a father around? Family? Has your daughter dabbled in drugs for a long time or don't you know (when my daughter used drugs, we were very fuzzy on what she was doing, really. She didn't tell us until after she quit and she was good at hiding what she did. Unfortunately, due to her refusing to quit using drugs, and the cops dropping by, we had to make her leave at nineteen. She was destroying our peaceful home and upsetting my two younger children). On the plus side, she has been clean now for over ten years.
In my opinion again, depression and anxiety issues are no reason to do illegal stuff or be abusive to you. If you check my signature, you will see I have mood disorder/anxiety that includes generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I had this very early in my life and have fought it all these years with a lot of success. Using drugs will only make these conditions worse, not better. Also, neither depression nor anxiety cause meanness and disrespect for societal rules. They are two separate issues.
You have to decide what you can and will tolerate in your home and stick to it, with an eye on her eighteenth birthday (this is just my opinion, of course). I would make drug rehab and counseling mandatory for staying under my roof, and also keeping the job and absolutely no illegal stuff under your roof. Also going for a GED would also be mandatory...she will get nowhere without one.
I believe that if you take a strong stand your child has a better chance of turning things around later. By "later" it could be later rather than earlier, but I still believe it gives them something to think about. They know they can't count on us for housing and free money if they refuse to grow up and I do believe that in many cases this matters.
I also believe that if we are too lenient and take no stand at all, or just yell and don't back it up, our kids are more likely not to decide to change their lifestyle. Again, of course, this is just my belief and it does not work for all kids. Some, despite our best efforts, do not feel the need to change. But I did want to tell you that it worked for me. If you asked my daughter if it helped her decision, she will say it did...that she got tired of drug life and fighting with the family. She is really doing great now and we are very close. She did graduate high school.
Others will check in with their opinions. Because your daughter is so close to eighteen years old, you may want to post on Parent Emeritus (parents of adult children 18 and over) or Substance Abuse to get a variety of feedback.
Welcome to the community, but so very sorry you had to come here. Try taking care of your own needs. This is so important...eat well, exercise, try detaching from your daughter's drama. You can't control her. You can only offer her help and set boundaries and change your own reaction to her behavior. I try to stay very calm and not explode no matter how angry I am. Yelling at them just gives them ammo to yell verbal abuse at us. I do not engage my grown kids if they are disrespectful (only one still is and he lives two states away. If he doesn't speak respectfully, I will disconnect the phone. He knows this so he is trying harder and doing better).
Wishing you luck in your journey. Urging you to keep posting. It does help.