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Tell me about your ODD difficult child (please)
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<blockquote data-quote="aeroeng" data-source="post: 260111" data-attributes="member: 6557"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">My ODD son is 13. His normal personality is very fun and loving. He is kind and supportive, plays the flute and harp and enjoys helping people, works hard and gets good grades. However: He can not manage frustrations, changes in expectations or any perception that something is not fair. Once this conflict in his brain starts going he has no ability to stop regardless of the consequence. He likes to be in control of others, and gets very jealous if any attention is given to his brothers. We have many stories that I prefer not to remember.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">What we find the most successful in supporting him is:</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- Remaining calm at all times. This is very difficult but the less I respond to his out breaks the smaller they seem to be. Sometimes I need to leave.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- Remove other siblings. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- If we can identify what might set him off, reflecting (technique to repeat and confirm his feelings), setting the problem on the table, and cooperative solution.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">- Reward/ Punishments systems don't seem to help much. They just become something else to argue about. He knows right from wrong, he just needs to learn the control.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000">Earlier this week he was frustrated because he was having troubles with his math homework. He asked if we could stop working on it, because if we kept working he would soon get mad. We developed a study plan for the rest of the week. I was proud. This was the first time he was ever able to identify a building explosion and develop a plan to avoid it!!!!!</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">Also you should know that ODD is a general label that is applied to all kinds of different reasons for defiant behavior. To get the diagnose all the child really needs is defiant behavior that is outside of "normal", and may not respond to traditional discipline techniques. Where my son's ODD tends to be manageable through techniques, proper response, and understanding of why he triggers, others do not and need different approaches. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aeroeng, post: 260111, member: 6557"] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]My ODD son is 13. His normal personality is very fun and loving. He is kind and supportive, plays the flute and harp and enjoys helping people, works hard and gets good grades. However: He can not manage frustrations, changes in expectations or any perception that something is not fair. Once this conflict in his brain starts going he has no ability to stop regardless of the consequence. He likes to be in control of others, and gets very jealous if any attention is given to his brothers. We have many stories that I prefer not to remember.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]What we find the most successful in supporting him is:[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- Remaining calm at all times. This is very difficult but the less I respond to his out breaks the smaller they seem to be. Sometimes I need to leave.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- Remove other siblings. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- If we can identify what might set him off, reflecting (technique to repeat and confirm his feelings), setting the problem on the table, and cooperative solution.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]- Reward/ Punishments systems don't seem to help much. They just become something else to argue about. He knows right from wrong, he just needs to learn the control.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000]Earlier this week he was frustrated because he was having troubles with his math homework. He asked if we could stop working on it, because if we kept working he would soon get mad. We developed a study plan for the rest of the week. I was proud. This was the first time he was ever able to identify a building explosion and develop a plan to avoid it!!!!![/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Times New Roman]Also you should know that ODD is a general label that is applied to all kinds of different reasons for defiant behavior. To get the diagnose all the child really needs is defiant behavior that is outside of "normal", and may not respond to traditional discipline techniques. Where my son's ODD tends to be manageable through techniques, proper response, and understanding of why he triggers, others do not and need different approaches. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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