Temper Tantrum

[luvmyottb]

Boy, did I just get on difficult child's bad side. She was so happy when she got off the bus. She wrote I love school on her arm in magic marker and was chatty and animated.

We came in the house and I asked to look in her backpack for assignments and school related stuff I need to know about. She refused and told me she didn't want me to look. Red Flag. I give her the opportunity to tell me what is in the notebook that she doesn't want me to see. She refuses, "its my stuff and you can't look at it." And slaps me in the chest.

I get the notebook and she had a note from teacher stating she didn't do her math sheet from last night, but didn't get written up. I asked where was the math sheet and she says she didn't get one from the teacher yesterday.

I told her to get a trashbag because she was going to pull weeds for lying and hitting me. She is backpedaling now and saying how sorry she is and if I let this slip by she won't hit or lie anymore. I say no, go outside and do your punishment. She blows, runs to her room, slams the door says she hates me, blah, blah, blah. I tell her I am setting the timer for 5 minutes, is she doesnt get outside and pull weeds now, Dad is coming home. Slams on bedroom door again. She comes out after 3 minutes, mouthy at me and picks up phone and hits my foot. I'm sorry Mom and I know she means it, but she can't stop herself now. I tell her outside now and she still tries to backpedal to get out of punishment. She throws couch pillows at me and threatens me with her shoe. I hate you!!

She is now outside pulling weeds and Dad is on his way home. She had such a good week at school and I just hate that she acts this way. Just came in to use the bathroom and dumped over a chair on her way back outside. Ugh!

 

[ML]

You did good, mom. She's pulling the weeds! I can relate to the the attitude and drama. My son wanted to give himself amnesia to forget about me this week. From one meanie to another, high 5!!

 

[Andy]

Well done - always hold to your word, don't let her change the subject - she was trying to get you to focus on her apology instead of the consequence that she does have to do - the apology can come after the consequence.

You may benefit from the Manipulative Child book. You are doing a great job and I think this book may help strengthen your procedures for temper tantrums.

It is good that she is enjoying school. Her temper tantrum was her after school meltdown. You may want to have a set time for her to show you papers from school or have her give you papers right away but you don't act on anything until a certain time.

I think she was still enjoying the day and knew that feeling would go away when you got that note - she still needed wind down time.

Just a thought to give another option?

She was out of line and you handled it well.

 

[amazeofgrace]

sounds like there's something in the water again, alot of our difficult child's are acting out!

congrats on standing firm, an area I need to practice

 

[tmay]

I'm so sorry for your bad afternoon. I can relate to you so much. My son is the same way. He can be just fine and the next minute raging like a maniac. The other day he came in after playing later than the time he was suppose to be home and just said sorry. When I told him he couldn't go back out for the rest of the night he flipped out and we spent the next hour and a half in a physical battle with him. It makes no sense and it is so frustrating. I am starting to feel not so alone in my battle to maintain control but I hate that you all have to do the same thing to make me fit in.

 

[TerryJ2]

Boy, does that sound familiar!!! Whenever my son doesn't want me to look at his homework notebook, it's a red flag for a note from the teacher.
I'm glad you stuck to your plan and she actually pulled weeds.
You go!