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Texts from GFG32 to husband
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 619182" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Very immature, controlling text written to make you feel small, which is cruel. I wouldn't respond.</p><p></p><p>Most of the time when we don't do what our adult children (emphasis on children) want us to do, they are not as nice with their following texts. They have to learn that our lives no longer revolve around their approval and that we won't pay them to pretend to like us and that we know they can do better and do it without our aid.</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry you must take this walk. It is so painful and lonely, but the best advice I can give you is to learn detachment and enhance your own life and the times you spend with your friends and family who are kind to you. You are very important and deserve better than this...he doesn't mean it. He is just trying to make you feel so bad that you will fall before his feet and do whatever he wants you to do. This is very common.</p><p></p><p>I highly recommend you read the book "Boundaries." In that book, they explain very clearly that once you set boundaries, dysfunctional people will throw fits and tantrums and try to get you to knock those boundaries down. They don't like you taking a stand for your own self. If anyone here knows the authors of this book, please post them! It is a Christian book, but the common sense part can be utilized and valued by people of all religions or of no religion. It's just good common sense.</p><p></p><p>Tight hugs for the hurt you feel..that your son is trying to make you feel. Please...take a hot bubble bath with a scented candle and a good book (yes, I know it's crazy!). Do something GOOD for YOU and try not to let this spoil your day. We are here to talk to you if you need us. His ex needs to learn the same skills. Tell her to post here. We will help her too. You can't fix the ex. She has to decide to do it herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 619182, member: 1550"] Very immature, controlling text written to make you feel small, which is cruel. I wouldn't respond. Most of the time when we don't do what our adult children (emphasis on children) want us to do, they are not as nice with their following texts. They have to learn that our lives no longer revolve around their approval and that we won't pay them to pretend to like us and that we know they can do better and do it without our aid. I am so sorry you must take this walk. It is so painful and lonely, but the best advice I can give you is to learn detachment and enhance your own life and the times you spend with your friends and family who are kind to you. You are very important and deserve better than this...he doesn't mean it. He is just trying to make you feel so bad that you will fall before his feet and do whatever he wants you to do. This is very common. I highly recommend you read the book "Boundaries." In that book, they explain very clearly that once you set boundaries, dysfunctional people will throw fits and tantrums and try to get you to knock those boundaries down. They don't like you taking a stand for your own self. If anyone here knows the authors of this book, please post them! It is a Christian book, but the common sense part can be utilized and valued by people of all religions or of no religion. It's just good common sense. Tight hugs for the hurt you feel..that your son is trying to make you feel. Please...take a hot bubble bath with a scented candle and a good book (yes, I know it's crazy!). Do something GOOD for YOU and try not to let this spoil your day. We are here to talk to you if you need us. His ex needs to learn the same skills. Tell her to post here. We will help her too. You can't fix the ex. She has to decide to do it herself. [/QUOTE]
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