Thank you all for your kind words

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tpcmom, Jul 21, 2007.

  1. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    I read and re-read all your messages and just wanted to thank you all for your kinds words, your prayers and especially your support.

    I cannot express how I feel. Numb. Sad. Heartbroken. I miss him so much I can't stand it. It's eating me up inside. I told someone today, that after 8 days now, life has gone on for everyone and I feel stuck in some time capsule and I can't get out. The pain in unbearable.

    Everyone has been very supportive of me and my boys and for that I am grateful. I am trying to stay strong, I try and pray but then I cry because I cannot understand why God would take him from me. he was only 15, he was such a good kid, I love him so much. I will be going to counseling because I cannot bear this alone. I am so glad that I have support not only with my friends and family, but also here. I've been coming here since Tim was about 7 y/o when I first found out he had bipolar. Since then, the last few years, he had grown into such a wonderful young man. It was so amazing, the progress he has made. He was so sick over the year with mono, the cat scratch disease, it just seems so unfair that this had to happen.

    Please keep me and my family in your prayers to keep us strong. There are no leads that I know of, just that he was not the target but most likely the other guy (who was his older brothers friend) was. And that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I just don't understand how someone can take someone elses life so easily, especially someone as wonderful as my son. Pray they catch who ever did this so they can pay for this terrible sin.

    I better go, I am starting to cry again.

    God Bless you all.
    Bette
     
  2. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Bette,
    I pray they find the animal that did this to your son and justice is served. Continued prayers for strength & peace.
    -TM
     
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Bette

    I hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. This is so hard to get through because it goes against the natural order of things.

    Please know this. God did not do this to you or your son. Life did this. Life hands out raw deals sometimes. But we can get through any thing that life dishes out, with God's help. Sure, it is natural to be angry at God. But he did not do this. Lean on him, you need him now more than ever, and he will get you through this. He is your strength and your salvation, and all the prayers that are being said about you fuel that.

    Bette, so many people on this board love you. We are all praying with you for swift justice.
     
  4. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Bette, bad things happen to good people because we have free will. People are basically selfish and it is the accumulated selfishness and the things people to do one another a a result of that, which causes so much pain in the world.
    I became disabled because a professor where I worked was too lazy to do his job properly. He'd been playing cute little games with his employer, trying to appear incompetent so he would be freed from teaching duties, leaving him much more time to build his publishing credentials. and because of his deliberate incompetence, I had an accident which has permanently damaged my nervous system and my immune system. The fact that I had warned our employers of the risk that this man posed is not satisfaction.

    All I can do is recognise that bad things like this happen, because of human selfishness. No harm was intended to me, just as no harm was intended specifically to your son - just to someone unnamed and mistaken. But the harm was done and cannot be undone. We can't go back and un-ring the bell, no matter how desperately we want to.

    Someone is already paying for your son's death. He can never pay enough because he can never bring him back, but already he is paying, in ways we can barely imagine. I hope and pray that he will be found and caught, and made to pay in a more appropriate way. But that won't change your pain.

    I'm glad you're going to counselling. You really need it in so many ways.

    Marg
     
  5. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Bette,

    You and your family have been in my thoughts and will continue to be. I'm glad you have good supports and are taking care of yourself.

    Tim will remain in my heart, as will you and your family.
     
  6. Estherfromjerusalem

    Estherfromjerusalem Well-Known Member

    Bette,

    My heart aches for your aching heart. Again, I want to say to you how sorry I am that something so dreadful could have happened.

    Yes, counselling may help you. But try and remember that there are stages to grieving that are essential to go through, and I hope and pray you find some peace of mind.

    Sending you a gentle hug.

    Love, Esther
     
  7. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bette,

    Your pain and grief are deep and something that those of us who have not lost a child cannot really fathom. Your decision to go to therapy is a smart one. A friend of my easy child's was killed last summer, an only child, and his parents started grief counceling the week after he died. I think it was instrumental in thier lives because it helped them understanding that we all process our grief on a different time table and in a different way.

    If you cannot pray right now, God understands. You will come to a time when you will realize, through your faith, that God did not take your son, an awful human did.

    Find your comfort and strenght where you can and don't let anyone tell you what is right or wrong for you to do.

    In time I hope you take some comfort in the knowledge that your boy made such strides in recent years, was loving life, and touched many others. That is his gift to you. His abilty to have moved forward regardless of the issues he dealt with. He was rising above. He will serve as an example and will be remembered for the all the good things he was able to do for himself and for others.

    In time I pray your heart lurch a little less when you think of yoru boy and some small part of that heart remember with joy the gift you had in him.

    Prayers and hugs,
    Sharon
     
  8. gottaloveem

    gottaloveem Active Member

    Bette,

    You and your family have been on my mind.

    Time does stand still for us grieving parents.

    I am so sorry your heart is now broken. I'm sorry you have to

    be on this journey.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Lia
     
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Bette,

    You have been on my mind, daily - and my prayers for strength are with you. Your tragedy struck a deep chord within me, and I cannot get it off of my mind. I can only imagine the injustice and loss you are experiencing - it is my worst nightmare that something would happen to my son.

    I wish I had more words of advice, but unfortunately I do not. The only thing I can think of is to not only go to counseling, but also to a grief support group, where you can be surrounded by people who can support you through this really difficult time.

    I will be praying that they find the person who did this....and that you will be able to find some sort of peace in the midst of this storm.
     
  10. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm thinking of you and your family often and praying also. I hope you can find the way to heal some. I'm sure the pain is unbearable. Continued prayers for you and your family.
     
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bette, I am glad to hear you are going to seek counseling. It is good that you recognize that you need help getting through this time.

    Thinking of you and your family.
     
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    How are your sons doing? They have groups of kids, too, I think.
    Perhaps even on that web site I suggested on the other post. On
    line would be easier, I think, for kids. Hugs. DDD
     
  13. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Bette,
    I have been praying and will continue to pray for you and your family. I am also praying they catch whoever did this. Gentle hugs.
     
  14. SunnyFlorida

    SunnyFlorida Active Member

    Continuing to hold you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    Hoping also that the authorities locate who did this and prosecute them.
     
  15. amstrong

    amstrong New Member

    Bette,

    I too, have thought of you daily since reading your sad post. I am glad you are getting the counseling. It can only help you. I am keeping you and your boys in my prayers and hope they find the scum who did this soon.

    Hugs,
     
  16. ME & THE BOYS

    ME & THE BOYS New Member

    Hello,

    Can you feel my hugging you? I wish to take away your pain, your anger.

    Thinking of you and your family.

    Remember, your son is with you at all times.

    With love,

    ME AND THE BOYS
     
  17. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Bette,
    I was thinking the other day that I should have told you that when my son died, I hated God and was so angry that He did not intervene and help. I was so angry I quit believing and quit church. that was incredible for someone like me to do that.

    it took a while but one day I was reading that we should not be angry at the one who can help us most. God did not cause this tragedy. May the person who killed your son be brought to justice. May it keep him from sleeping at night, may he turn himself in and turn himself around.

    when you stop being angry and sad, you will start to remember ways your son made you smile. you will not feel the sharp pain of the knife you feel in your heart now.

    my son died in 1974. it was 33 yrs since he died on july 19. that day is frozen in detail in my mind forever. The pain is not as great because I now and believe I will be with him again. I wish it were right now but must be patient.

    losing a child is something no one should ever have to experience. it is unnatural. we are to protect them and be there for them for their entire life. you have been a great mom to him. his life was good because of you. you did all you could all his life to make him know he waws loved. you met your obligation. you will be rewarded when you meet him again.

    holding you in soft prayerful thoughts.
     
  18. Terryforvols

    Terryforvols Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. God understands that you are angry with him right now, and He still loves you and has his arms around you and your family. I have never experienced the tragedy you have, but sometimes in my darkest times with my difficult child, I had to close my eyes and picture God with his arms around me. Just carry with you that He is there with you, no matter how angry you get with Him. He didn't do this, evil did this through a sick, sick human. I wish you and your family love and healing.
     
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Bette, the fact that you've come back here to post and express yourself means a lot of me (and all of us). You are so eloquent, even in the midst of grief. I am so glad you are planning to go to counseling. The rest of your family will benefit, too. It will take a long, long time.
    Thank you for staying with us.
    {{{Cyberhugs}}}
     
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