thank you everyone!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by missdot, Jul 22, 2007.

  1. missdot

    missdot New Member

    Regarding my last post everyone's input really was so helpful. When you are on this side of the coin, you never see things really straight. Of course I get totally crazy anyway. Now here is another question that I will be addressing to the FBS team when I contact them. After all that has happened this week, difficult child has lost closest friends (they started all the crud). I have spent some alone time with difficult child and what now concerns me is he says he doesn't care. I really think he means it. He acts as if he doesn't care. When we have had issues in the past he has always told me he doesn't care. It's not normal not to care about things and this is really bothering me. Is it he doesn't care truly? (which I almost believe because of the way he has handled things) Or is it because he is afraid of caring about things? Does he care and holds all this in and how do I get him to open up?
  2. Kjs

    Kjs Guest

    I'Learning Disability (LD) bet he is afraid of caring.

    My husband had an awful upbringing. He came to my home town to visit a friend. We met, but his friend that he came to visit was murdered. Friends parents asked him to be pall bearer. He told them no, he would not. He never went to the funeral. He later told me that he thought if he didn't think about it - it would just go away.

    I believe that is how he handled growing up. I also now believe that is a big part of our problem.

    If you don't care, you can't get hurt.
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Kjs - he's either afraid of caring or it's false bravado; he wants you to think he doesn't care.

    I'm glad you have found the support we all need in these trying years of raising our difficult children.

  4. lynnp

    lynnp New Member

    This is something that floors me with my son also. At times, he can be very caring and supportive, but lately it's like he really doesn't care at all. It's so hard to stay sane and sympathetic to his issues when you get absolutely nothing back...
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    At this early teen and pre-teen level they get very skilled at pretending they don't care. Especially if they get bullied (by kids, or by adults) they learn that if they show that it upsets them, it will get worse. It's a coping skill that the world teaches them. Don't believe it, but don't let on that you know he cares. Just watch him and let him know you love him. Not much else you can do, but wait for him to crack. As long as her knows he's safe in showing his feelings to you... a hard one, at this age.